A fellow Christian that attends the same church as myself let me in on some of his troubles the other day.
He had this stressed look on his face.
Like he did something wrong, and no one else but him knew.
After a lot of dancing around the subject, he told me what was on his mind.
His spouse had gained a lot of weight lately, and he wasn’t attracted to her anymore because of that.
But at the same time, he was afraid that if he told her, he might hurt her feelings.
So he felt like he couldn’t do anything about it.
This might not come as a surprise, but I hear a lot of stories like that.
People hide their true feelings from their loved ones because they don’t want to hurt them.
They think they are protecting them.
But they are doing more wrong than good.
We often underestimate how strong people are.
Humans have survived tragedies, slavery, disease – the list goes on.
They can handle having their feelings hurt.
God has made us tough.
And through hardship is how we grow.
If we want our loved ones to work through their problems, we have to hurt their feelings sometimes.
It’s fine.
We usually make things worse in our heads than how they actually are.
If a loved one has gained weight, does something that bothers you, or wears clothes that don’t fit them, you should tell them.
It might be uncomfortable at first, but they will be thankful you were honest in the long run.
It is a much finer alternative than talking about them behind their back.
Hiding your true feelings can lead to resentment.
It slowly eats you up from the inside.
And it is how couples end up splitting up.
Honesty is crucial in any relationship.
If we constantly try to make people happy, then we can end up hurting them and ourselves in the process.
As well as causing THIS to our health.
But if we respect our loved ones and want them to grow, we should always be telling them the truth.
Even if the truth is uncomfortable.
God Bless
The Christian Tech-Nerd 
Yes, honesty is important. Communication is important. However, most people carry with them hurts that they are not even aware of. Bringing up a touchy subject as the one this man was having will bring more hurt to the person than comfort. It might not change anything. It might also cause a rupture in the relationship.
Weight is a sign of internal struggle and suffering of feeling unworthy. Until the person realizes or becomes aware of her/his internal turmoil, then the person can do something about it.
Believe me, I have been there. We all think we hold the truth. We can tell them we have the solution to their problem. However, there is a reason why they don’t see what we obviously see. The person is unaware. I do not think that any conscious person would want to sabotage their health or their marriage.
Here is my last take on it. What would Jesus do? I do not think Jesus would be looking at the outer appearance of this person. I think Jesus would accept this person as the way she is because in her the grace and love of God exist. We are made in the image of the lord. If we don’t see it, it is because we still have the veil of just being a human. Humans judge and want others to fix themselves so we can be happy. We must be happy before we can ask someone else to be how we perceive they should be.
And that my dear friends is my take on the subject. You all have a wonderful life.
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Christiantech, I believe Juan2Play makes some very valid points. I agree that couples should be able to discuss honestly with each other. This is the ultimate goal for a mature marital relationship. Maturity, though is a process. It isn’t accomplished automatically. Part of that process is being sensitive to each other’s feelings.
Your husband was correct assuming she might be hurt if he approached her with his problem with her weight. He admits he cares about her feelings. This is good. He admits he is not physically attracted to her. This is the real issue.
What I hear is that he thinks the problem is how to approach her with his problem without hurting her feelings. Therefore, I agree with Juan2Play, “Bringing up a touchy subject as the one this man was having will bring more hurt to the person than comfort” and “might also cause a rupture in the relationship.”
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