Tag: emotional healing through faith

Blame Ends Here: I’m done pointing fingers!

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

If you would like to pray with me, please Click Here!

I’ve been feeling convicted lately. Not guilty—convicted. There’s a difference. Guilt just sticks to your soul like mud, but conviction comes from the Holy Spirit and leads you toward cleansing. And right now, I need cleansing. Not just from the obvious sins, but from that sneaky one I’ve been nursing in silence: blame.

You know what I’ve realized, Lord? Blame is a comfort zone. It’s easier to say “She hurt me,” “He triggered me,” “They abandoned me,” than to say, “I chose this response.” Because choosing to be angry, bitter, cold, or petty means I have to face myself. And let’s be real—sometimes I’d rather point the finger outward than take a hard look in the mirror.

Galatians 5:22-23 keeps ringing in my ears:


“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control…”


SELF-CONTROL. Not other-control. Not blame-shifting. Not retaliation. Self. Control. The one fruit I pretend isn’t in the basket when I’m fired up.

Earlier this week I was frustrated with my boss—again. She made this snarky comment about my “slow pace” on a project that I literally prayed through and poured my heart into.

Then I heard that still, small voice: “You’re standing on the outside, but inside you’re stomping your feet.” Just like that kid in time-out, pretending to submit while rebellion boils underneath. That hit hard. I’m not called to passive-aggressiveness or silent rebellion. I’m called to radical, inconvenient obedience.

So here I am, laying it all down. No more blaming her. No more blaming my past, my wounds, my triggers. They’re real, yes. But they don’t get to define my reactions anymore. Only You do, Lord.

I’m reminded of Romans 14:12:
“So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.”


MYSELF. Not my coworkers. Not my parents. Me. And if I’m being honest, my account’s got some chapters I’d rather not read aloud. But You already know them.

You see my heart—and love me anyway. That’s what humbles me most. You see the fake apologies, the grudges disguised as boundaries, the sarcasm hiding my disappointment. And still, You invite me into grace.

Holy Spirit, search me. Please. Rip the roots of bitterness out before they become my identity. I don’t want to be “the girl who was hurt” anymore. I want to be “the woman who was healed and chose joy anyway.”

God, I want to live Galatians 5, not just quote it. I want my love to be genuine, my peace to be unshakable, my kindness to be reflexive, not forced. I don’t want to react like the world—I want to respond like You. Because You never played the blame game, even when You had every right to. Jesus, You were blameless, and yet You bore my blame. And what do I do with that sacrifice? I pick it up and throw it at others, using it as a weapon to justify my own hurt. Forgive me, Lord.

Here’s my prayer tonight:

Father, create in me a clean heart (Psalm 51:10), and renew a right spirit within me. Deliver me from the temptation to justify sin with someone else’s failures. You are the Judge, not me. You are the Redeemer, not me. Teach me to stop blaming and start forgiving. Soften my heart, even toward those who don’t apologize. And when I mess up, give me the humility to repent fully and quickly, not just partially. Holy Spirit, grow Your fruit in me. I surrender my responses, my emotions, my rights. I choose obedience, not offense. I choose peace. In Jesus’ name, amen.

I’m realizing that the blame game is the devil’s favorite playground. He doesn’t need us to sin loudly—he just needs us to keep a bitter scorecard while pretending we’re fine. I refuse to play his game. I’d rather play for the Kingdom.

The more I surrender to God, the more I see how much I’ve tried to manage my own vindication.

But Romans 12:19 says….

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”


That’s hard. So hard. But necessary. Because when I hold on to blame, I’m essentially saying I don’t trust You, God. And that’s not the legacy I want.

I want to be known for releasing, not resenting. For healing, not harboring. For grace, not grudge.

So I’m putting down the gavel. I’m not the judge. I’m not the jury. I’m just a daughter of the King, learning to respond like royalty instead of reacting like a wounded orphan. I’m not perfect—but I’m being perfected. And that’s enough.

If anyone ever reads this entry one day (God help them!), I pray they feel the freedom that comes when you stop blaming and start confessing. It’s like unclenching a fist you didn’t realize was tight. Suddenly, peace can fill your palm.

Ending the blame game doesn’t mean you were never hurt—it means your healing matters more.

I’m done pointing fingers. I’m lifting hands.

From Hurt to Healing: 10 Powerful Bible Verses on Forgiveness

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

This morning my heart feels both heavy and hopeful. It’s strange how those two emotions can live in the same chest, but I think that’s what happens when God starts mending things inside you. I’ve been praying a lot about forgiveness lately. Not the shallow, “I’m over it” kind — I mean the kind where you truly let go, even if they never say sorry.

Someone I trusted hurt me. And not just once. Words were said that cut deep, and for a while, I didn’t even realize how much bitterness I’d let settle in my heart. I smiled like I was fine, prayed like I’d moved on, but inside I was replaying the moment over and over again — asking why, wishing I’d said something else, wondering if I was the problem.

But God doesn’t let us sit in that place forever.

This week, in prayer, I felt Him gently press this truth into me: Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting what happened — it’s about remembering who God is.

That hit me hard. Because I realized I had made it all about them: what they did, how wrong they were, what I thought I deserved. But forgiveness isn’t something we offer because others have earned it — we forgive because we’ve been forgiven first.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
— Ephesians 4:32

That verse came to me as I sat on my bedroom floor, journaling and crying. I asked God to help me let go. Not because it’s easy. But because He did it first — and for way worse.

I’ve been reading Scripture every night to keep my heart soft and surrendered. So, for my own healing and maybe someday for someone else who needs it, I’m writing this down.

From Hurt to Healing: here are 10 Powerful Bible Verses on Forgiveness

  1. Ephesians 4:32
    “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
    This verse reminds me that forgiveness is rooted in compassion — not justice. God forgave me freely, and I’m called to do the same.
  2. Matthew 6:14–15
    “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
    This is sobering. Forgiveness is not optional. It’s a command with eternal weight.
  3. Colossians 3:13
    “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
    It’s not just about letting go — it’s about reflecting God’s mercy.
  4. Luke 6:37
    “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
    Sometimes I want justice so badly. But God is reminding me: mercy wins.
  5. Mark 11:25
    “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
    I don’t want blocked prayers. Holding grudges closes my heart to God.
  6. Psalm 103:12
    “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”
    God doesn’t bring up my past. I shouldn’t keep bringing up someone else’s.
  7. Proverbs 17:9
    “Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.”
    I need to stop repeating the hurt — in my head or with others.
  8. Romans 12:19
    “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
    I keep trying to settle it myself — in my mind, in my silence — but it’s not my job. God sees.
  9. Isaiah 43:25
    “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.”
    God forgives me completely — no record kept. I want to forgive that way.
  10. Matthew 18:21–22
    “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’”
    Forgiveness isn’t a one-time thing. It’s a choice I might have to make daily.

Some days, I feel like I’m making progress. Other days, a memory will hit, and the old hurt comes rushing back. But every time it does, I remind myself that healing isn’t linear — it’s holy. And God is patient with me in the process.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”
— Psalm 51:10

Tonight, I asked God to clean out my heart again. To scoop out the resentment, the silent anger, the unspoken words I’ve buried. And He did. I felt it.

Prayer:
Lord, thank You for showing me how deeply You’ve forgiven me. Help me extend that same grace to others, even when they don’t deserve it — especially then. Break the chains of bitterness in me. Remind me that You are just, and I can trust You with the pain. Fill my heart with mercy, not memory. Help me release the offense and walk in the freedom of Your love. In Jesus’ name, amen.

I’m learning that forgiveness doesn’t mean what they did was okay. It means I’m okay — because Jesus carried it all. He didn’t wait for me to apologize before offering me grace. And now I’m called to do the same.

Maybe one day I’ll be able to share this with someone else who’s struggling to let go. But for today, I’ll leave this here — a reminder to myself that healing is possible, and forgiveness is the door that opens it.