Tag: faith under fire

God, Why Am I Always at War?

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

I’m so exhausted, Lord. So spiritually tired. I’m angry—not just annoyed, not just inconvenienced—angry. Raging. I feel like I’m walking through life with a bullseye on my back and every demon in hell has permission to aim. Why? Because I belong to You? Because I chose Jesus over comfort? Then where’s the peace You promised?

“Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” – Ephesians 6:17

I read that verse today like it’s supposed to be some magical defense, but if I’m being completely honest, it just made me more frustrated. What the heck is the helmet of salvation supposed to do when my mind feels like a warzone? I feel like I’m drowning in lies, constantly second-guessing if I’m even saved at all. Isn’t the helmet supposed to protect my thoughts?

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Prayer #1:
God, I need You to quiet the noise. Put Your hands over my ears and silence the voices that tell me I’m worthless, faithless, hopeless. Remind me what salvation actually means—because right now, it just feels like another label I don’t live up to.

I’m tired of people preaching like we’re not supposed to struggle with doubt. Like salvation is a one-time prayer and poof, we’re bulletproof. No one talks about the days where you cry yourself to sleep asking God if He still loves you. No one admits that they sometimes wonder if they’re too broken for grace.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” – 2 Timothy 1:7

Then why is my mind so noisy? Why do I feel like I’m stuck in a blender of thoughts that I can’t shut off? If salvation is supposed to protect my mind, how come I still wake up feeling anxious, confused, like I’m failing as a Christian?

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Prayer #2:
Jesus, help me believe that You didn’t save me to abandon me. Help me trust that even in my doubt, You’re still holding me. I want to believe You’re still proud of me, even when I’m a mess.

Today at church, the pastor said the helmet of salvation guards our identity in Christ. I rolled my eyes. If it really did, why is it the first thing that gets attacked? My identity in You feels like it’s under constant assault. One day I believe I’m a child of God, the next day I feel like a fraud. I’m sick of this rollercoaster.

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” – Romans 8:1

Then why do I feel condemned all the time? I make one mistake and it’s like my brain goes into full panic mode—“You’re not really saved, are you? Real Christians don’t mess up like that.” I hate how easily I forget grace. I hate how quickly I believe the worst about myself.

Prayer #3:
Lord, cover my mind. Not with Pinterest quotes or cute Instagram theology—but with truth. Remind me who I am. Remind me that salvation isn’t about my perfection, but Your persistence. Thank You for chasing me even when I don’t feel worth chasing.

I think I’ve misunderstood the helmet. I thought it was supposed to stop the attacks from coming. But maybe it’s not about that. Maybe it’s about protection in the fight, not from it.

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” – Isaiah 26:3

Peace feels like a fairy tale some days. I don’t even know what “perfect peace” looks like. But I want to. God, I want to trust You enough that my thoughts stop spiraling every time something goes wrong. I want a mind that’s steadfast, not scattered.

It’s just… hard. So freaking hard. The people around me think I’m strong because I quote scripture and lead Bible study and show up with a smile. But inside I feel like I’m barely holding on. Nobody sees the nights I scream into my pillow, asking You where You are.

Prayer #4:
God, give me the kind of faith that holds when everything is falling apart. Not the “churchy” kind, but the raw, real kind that fights for truth when everything inside me feels like it’s lying.

I think I finally get what the helmet of salvation really is—it’s not something I put on to look holy. It’s not about appearances. It’s about remembrance. It’s a helmet because I’m in battle. It’s salvation because that’s my anchor. It protects my mind from forgetting who I am and whose I am.

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.” – Psalm 28:7

I don’t feel strong. I feel like glass. But maybe You’re strong in me. Maybe the helmet doesn’t stop the blows, but it keeps them from cracking my skull open. Maybe salvation doesn’t mean I don’t fall—but it means I never fall alone.

Prayer #5:
God, help me to remember that You’ve already won. Even when I feel like I’m losing. Even when my thoughts are chaos and my heart is heavy. Teach me to wear this helmet every day—to cling to the truth that I’m Yours, even when I don’t feel like it.

So yeah, I’m still angry. I’m angry that being saved doesn’t mean being safe from pain. I’m angry that the mind You gave me is also the battlefield the enemy uses the most. But I’m also starting to understand that my anger doesn’t scare You. You already knew this walk wouldn’t be easy. That’s why You gave me armor.

So tomorrow, I’ll wake up, and I’ll put on the helmet of salvation—not as some shiny religious badge, but as a reminder:
I’m still here.
I’m still His.
And I’m still fighting.

Because my mind may be a battlefield—but my Savior is a warrior.

And He doesn’t lose.

Dear God, Is Anyone Still Fighting for You?

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

I don’t even know where to begin. My heart is on fire tonight — but not the kind of fire you want. It’s the kind that burns because I’m angry, frustrated, and afraid all at once. I’m afraid that we’re losing something sacred. Something eternal. I’m afraid that Christianity — true, Bible-rooted Christianity — is being mocked, twisted, erased.

And worst of all, I feel like no one around me even cares.

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Everywhere I turn, the world is bowing to the Liberal agenda. Everything’s “tolerance” and “love wins” — but only if you agree with them. The moment you stand up for God’s Word, you’re called hateful, backwards, or worse. I’m tired. I’m mad. I feel like I’m watching the flame of our faith flicker under the pressure of politics and popularity contests.

“If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.” — John 15:18 (ESV)

Lord, help me remember that it’s not me they hate — it’s You. But still, it hurts. It hurts to feel like I’m shouting into a void. It hurts to see churches flying rainbow flags and “celebrating pride” while ignoring the pride that leads to destruction.

Prayer 1:
God, please open the eyes of the Church. Wake us up before it’s too late. Give us boldness, not softness. Give us conviction, not compromise. I don’t want to be a lukewarm believer. I want to burn for You, not blend in for them.

What scares me the most is how fast we’re moving. Just a few years ago, things felt different. Now, if you don’t use the “right” pronouns, you could lose your job. If you say marriage is between a man and a woman — just like the Bible says — you’re called a bigot. I’m only 24, but I feel like I’m already living in a country that doesn’t want me — or at least doesn’t want what I believe.

And I keep wondering: Where are the other Christians? Why are so many of us silent?

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” — 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

Prayer 2:
Lord, give Your people courage. Wake us up from our comfort. Let us speak with truth and love — not fear. Let us vote, shout, pray, and live like Your kingdom matters more than their approval.

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Tonight I read a headline about another pastor arrested for “hate speech” because he quoted Scripture in a sermon. I wanted to scream. How can we just let this happen?! How can Christians be silenced in a country built on freedom? The same freedom they use to tear us down?

I know not every liberal is evil — I’m not that naive. But I also know the ideology they push is poison to our faith. It’s not about kindness or justice anymore. It’s about control. It’s about replacing God with government, sin with pride, truth with confusion.

“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness.” — Isaiah 5:20 (ESV)

Prayer 3:
Jesus, be our defender. Be our truth in a sea of lies. Help me not to become bitter — but I can’t pretend I’m not furious. Channel my anger into action. Let me fight for You! Give me a voice that carries and a heart that doesn’t give up.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if every Christian in America actually voted with the Bible in mind. Not with emotion. Not with culture. But with truth. What if we demanded that our politicians protect the unborn, defend religious liberty, and stop forcing godless agendas into our schools? What if we stood up — together?

It breaks my heart to see how many Christians say, “Well, Jesus isn’t political.” And yes, He wasn’t running for office — but He sure stood up to power. He didn’t sugarcoat the truth for Rome or the Pharisees. He turned over tables. He called sin what it was.

So why are we too scared to even post a Bible verse?

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” — Romans 12:2 (ESV)

Prayer 4:
Father, help me live transformed. Don’t let me mold to this world. Make me holy — set apart — even if it costs me popularity, friendships, or peace. Let me care more about pleasing You than fitting in.

I think of the kids growing up right now, being taught to question everything — except the lies. It’s a world where drag shows are “family-friendly,” but prayer in school is banned. A world where Christian voices are censored, but everything else is celebrated in the name of “freedom.” If we don’t fight back now, will there be anything left for the next generation?

I don’t want to sit back and watch our light go out.

“Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” — Matthew 5:10 (ESV)

Prayer 5:
Jesus, make me worthy of being persecuted for You. If I have to suffer to stand for truth, let it be done. I don’t want comfort — I want courage. I don’t want peace with the world — I want peace in You. And I want to see revival in my lifetime. Please, Lord. Let it begin with me.

It’s almost midnight now. I probably won’t sleep much tonight. My mind is racing with everything I want to do — everything I feel called to shout from the rooftops. Maybe this article is just a release. But maybe it’s also a reminder: I’m not crazy. I’m not alone. And I’m not giving up.

God is still on the throne. But His people need to rise. We can’t afford to play nice anymore. Not when souls are at stake. Not when truth is under attack.

If we don’t carry the flame — who will?