Tag: faith

Faith on Display: Is It Meant to Be Shared?

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

Last night I sat in the corner booth of a cute little mom and pop coffee shop with my Bible open, my journal beside me, and a peppermint tea in hand—just like every Wednesday pretty much. But something about last night felt… different. Not in a dramatic or supernatural way, just a subtle stirring in my spirit that I couldn’t ignore.

There was a girl sitting two tables down. She looked about my age, maybe a little younger. Alone. Earbuds in, but she wasn’t really focused on her phone. She glanced at my Bible more than once. Not judging—more like curious.

I felt this nudge in my spirit—one I’ve felt before and honestly, too often ignored.

“Say something. Smile. Ask her if she wants to talk or pray.”

But I didn’t.

I froze. I told myself, “Maybe she doesn’t want to be bothered,” or “She probably thinks I’m weird.” And then, like a coward, I packed up and left early.

God, I’m sorry. Truly.

I’ve been thinking about this question for weeks now: Is my faith meant to be shared? And the answer is always yes. A loud, resounding yes. But I still hesitate.

Why?

I guess I don’t want to come off as “that girl”—the one who forces faith into every conversation. But then again… why shouldn’t I be that girl if I truly believe this is life-saving truth?

Romans 1:16 says, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes.”

Am I ashamed? I don’t think so. But maybe I act like I am sometimes. That hurts to write out.

When I really sit with the thought, I think I’m more afraid of rejection than I am of disobedience. That’s heavy.

But Jesus never called us to comfort. He said, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23).

Denying myself includes denying that fear. That worry about awkwardness. That instinct to self-protect.

I think about the early church—how they risked everything to share the gospel. Not just reputation, but their very lives. And me? I can’t even risk an awkward moment in a coffee shop?

Lord, forgive me for my silence.

I remember reading 1 Peter 3:15—“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” But it doesn’t stop there. It says to do this “with gentleness and respect.”

So maybe it’s not about being loud or invasive. It’s about being available. Present. Willing.

What would it look like if I made it a point to be more intentional? Not to push Jesus on people, but to present Him—in how I speak, how I love, how I show up in everyday moments?

Honestly, it’s easy to talk about Jesus when I’m with other Christians. At church, youth group, Bible study—we’re all speaking the same language. But outside those circles, I shrink. And that’s something I desperately want to change.

I don’t want a compartmentalized faith.

I want a faith that overflows. One that people can see and feel, even without a word—but especially with one.

Jesus said in Matthew 5:14-16:
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden… let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

What good is a light if I’m constantly hiding it under the weight of my own insecurity?

I don’t have all the answers. I’m still figuring out what it looks like to live a bold faith in a quiet, unassuming world. But I know this: I don’t want to live a life that keeps Jesus a secret.

So tonight, I’m praying this prayer.

A Prayer for Boldness and Compassion

Father,
You see every part of me—the parts that want to shout Your name from the rooftops, and the parts that whisper when I should speak boldly. I thank You that You’re patient with me. That You don’t condemn me for my hesitations, but gently invite me deeper.

Lord, give me courage. Not the kind the world gives, but the holy, Spirit-filled kind that can only come from You. The courage to speak when it’s uncomfortable. To offer a word, a smile, a prayer—even when I don’t know how it will be received.

Let me never be ashamed of the Gospel, because I know it’s the power of salvation. Remind me that sharing You isn’t about perfection or performance—it’s about love. Help me love people enough to risk my own pride.

And Lord, make me sensitive. Let me listen well. Let me follow Your nudges. Let me be a light—not a spotlight, not a floodlight—just a gentle, warm flame that points to You.

I surrender my fear, my image, my comfort. Use me, Lord. Not someday. Not when I feel ready. But now.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

So that’s where I was last night. A mix of conviction, hope, and longing. I don’t want to be silent anymore. My faith isn’t just mine—it’s a gift meant to be shared.

Next Wednesday, I’ll go back to that same coffee shop. Maybe she’ll be there again. Maybe she won’t. But either way, I’ll be ready this time.

And even if I’m not, God will be.

Faith Isn’t Just Positive Thinking, It’s Trusting God When It’s Hard

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

I feel the weight of a question that’s been whispering in the back of my mind for a while now: What’s the real difference between faith and optimism? At first, I thought maybe it was just semantics—two pretty words that kind of meant the same thing. But after what’s happened this past month—between losing my part-time job, watching Mom go through another round of treatment, and waking up every day with that strange heaviness—I’m beginning to realize they’re definitely not the same.

Optimism says, “Things will work out.”
Faith says, “Even if they don’t, I will still trust Him.”

I think optimism is born from hope in circumstances. But faith? Faith is born from trust in a Person—Jesus. It’s more than a positive outlook. It’s an anchor. And I’m learning that faith doesn’t always come with good feelings or sunny thoughts. Sometimes, it feels like standing in the rain with nothing but a promise to hold onto.

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” – Hebrews 11:1

This verse hit me hard today. I’d read it so many times before, but it felt brand new in light of what I’m walking through. Faith isn’t pretending things are okay—it’s believing God is still good, even when everything else is not.

Prayer 1:

Lord Jesus, help me not to confuse Your promises with my preferences. Teach me to walk by faith, not by feelings or favorable outcomes. Let my heart rest in Your faithfulness, even when my world feels uncertain. Amen.

Earlier this morning, I talked to Ava about it over coffee. She said, “Faith is like walking blindfolded, knowing God’s the one guiding your steps. Optimism just hopes you don’t trip.”

That made me laugh—but it also stuck. I’ve been blindly hoping things would just get better. I wanted the storm to pass. But now I’m starting to ask God, “How are You shaping me in this storm?”

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” – 2 Corinthians 5:7

It’s easy to be optimistic when your bank account’s full, when your prayers are answered fast, and when the people you love are thriving. But when none of that is true—when your heart feels like it’s unraveling—what’s left?

Faith.

Raw, unpretty, real faith.

Faith that keeps you praying when it feels like nothing’s changing.
Faith that opens your Bible when your heart feels numb.
Faith that says, “Even here, He is with me.”

Prayer 2:

Father, I don’t want a faith that depends on how I feel or what I see. I want a faith rooted in who You are—unchanging, unfailing, always near. Help me trust You, even in the silence. Amen.

This afternoon I sat by the lake near campus, just watching the water ripple and listening to the breeze. And I thought: optimism stares at the surface and says, “Look how calm it is today.” But faith knows, “Even if the storm comes, I’m in the boat with Jesus.”

It reminds me of when Peter walked on the water. He was fine until he took his eyes off Jesus and looked at the wind. I do that a lot. I let my eyes settle on the news, my bank statement, my fears. And that’s when I start sinking.

“But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’” – Matthew 14:30

And you know what? Jesus didn’t shame him. He reached out and saved him. That’s the kind of God I have—not a distant judge but a present Savior.

Prayer 3:

Jesus, when my faith falters, be quick to catch me. Remind me to keep my eyes on You—not the waves. I trust that Your hand is never too far from mine. Amen.

Something else came to me tonight. Optimism says, “It’s going to be okay.”
But faith says, “Even if it’s not okay, He is still with me.”

That changes everything. It means I don’t have to fake a smile when my heart aches. I don’t have to pretend I’m strong when I’m tired. I can bring every fear, every doubt, every raw thought straight to Him—and He won’t turn me away.

“Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7

That word “cares” is so gentle. God isn’t annoyed by my tears or overwhelmed by my anxiety. He wants me to come closer, not clean myself up first.

Prayer 4:

God, thank You for being a safe place for my soul. When I feel fragile and weary, help me to remember You care about every detail. Draw me near when I want to run. Amen.

So tonight, here’s where I land:
Optimism looks for signs.
Faith trusts the unseen.

Optimism might help me survive the day, but faith teaches me how to thrive, even in the dark.

And you know what else? Faith doesn’t mean I’ll never feel afraid. It means fear doesn’t get the final say. It means I believe God is doing something good, even when I can’t understand it yet.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him.” – Romans 8:28

That “all things” part isn’t just the sweet moments. It’s the hard ones too. The heartbreaks. The waiting seasons. The losses. All of it. God doesn’t waste anything.

Prayer 5:

Lord, make my heart brave—not because I know the future, but because I know You. Let my faith grow deep roots, so even when storms come, I won’t be shaken. Use this season for Your glory, even when I don’t understand it yet. Amen.

Well, I think I’ll close this page and sit with Him a little longer tonight. Maybe read a Psalm, maybe just sit in the quiet. I’m learning that silence isn’t always emptiness. Sometimes, it’s where God speaks the loudest.

Please Lord, redeem California And protect this country from Gavin Newsom

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd


I am so frustrated right now. I can hardly focus on anything else but this heavy, burning weight in my heart about what’s happening in California—and what could happen to this entire country if people don’t wake up. I just need to pour it all out here, because I can’t yell it from the rooftops the way I want to, and I’m honestly too angry to speak to people about it without it turning into a fight. So I’m going to give it to You, Lord, raw and real.

Click Here to Watch How Disgraceful Gavin Newsom Really Is

Scripture #1 – Psalm 94:16
“Who will rise up for me against the wicked? Who will take a stand for me against evildoers?”
Lord, I feel like this verse is my whole mood lately. Who is standing up against the wicked policies in California? Who’s fighting for the unborn? For the children? For families who just want to raise their kids without the government shoving perversion, confusion, and chaos into their homes? I’m begging You to raise up leaders in California who love You, who fear You, and who will stand up against Gavin Newsom and everything he represents.

Prayer #1
Father God, I pray right now for the people of California. Open their eyes. Tear the veil off their faces. Show them what’s really happening. Give them wisdom to vote out Gavin Newsom. Let truth pierce through the deception and emotional manipulation. Raise up godly voices with courage. Silence the voices of confusion and darkness. Amen.

I look at what California has become under Newsom, and it makes me sick. Literal sanctuary for abortion—even pushing for full-term and post-birth killing. Schools hiding gender transitions from parents. Drag shows for kids. Skyrocketing crime. Taxes. Fires. Homelessness. People fleeing the state because they can’t take it anymore. And what does Gavin do? Smile for the cameras and pretend it’s all part of some glorious progressive utopia. It’s delusional. It’s evil.

And what’s worse is that he thinks he deserves to be President. President of the United States?!? God, I can’t even stomach the thought.

Scripture #2 – Isaiah 5:20
“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness…”
Yes, Lord. That’s exactly what’s happening. They’re painting sin as virtue. They’re labeling righteousness as bigotry. And this man is leading the charge with his fake smile and soft voice, acting like he’s some moral hero when he’s literally spitting on Your Word and leading people astray.

Prayer #2
Jesus, I pray You would block Gavin Newsom from ever becoming President. Shut every door. Let the plans of the wicked be exposed and fall apart. Guard our nation from even entertaining the idea. Don’t let charisma or polished words deceive people. Give voters discernment. Give us courage to say “No.” We don’t need another puppet of darkness in the White House. Amen.

I know anger isn’t supposed to rule me. I’m not proud of how intense this is, but how can I not feel furious? He uses religion when it benefits him—quoting Jesus to justify killing babies. Quoting scripture to support policies that break Your commandments. It’s blasphemy. And people eat it up because it’s coated in political correctness and “tolerance.”

Scripture #3 – Proverbs 29:2
“When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice: but when the wicked rule, the people mourn.”
That’s what California is doing—mourning. Silently, loudly, desperately. People are mourning their neighborhoods, their safety, their faith, their families, their very sanity under the weight of wicked leadership.

Prayer #3
God, raise up righteous leaders. We need bold men and women who are rooted in Your truth and not afraid to speak it. I pray for local elections, school boards, governors—let there be a holy uprising of people who are not ashamed of the Gospel. And may California, of all places, be a place where revival breaks out—not just spiritually, but politically and morally. Amen.

Sometimes I wonder if anyone else my age even cares. Most of them are either totally brainwashed or too afraid to say anything because it’s “unpopular.” But silence is complicity. And I’m not staying silent. I won’t. If that means losing friends, fine. If that means being the “crazy Christian girl” in the group chat, so be it. I care more about pleasing God than fitting in.

Scripture #4 – Galatians 1:10
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
That hits hard. I am a servant of Christ. I will speak truth, even when it costs me. Even if I’m mocked or labeled “intolerant.” Jesus wasn’t crucified for being politically correct. He was crucified for being right.

Prayer #4
Jesus, give me the boldness to speak the truth in love. Help me to not be ruled by anger, but to let it drive me toward action. Give me grace and clarity. Let my words reflect Your heart, even when I’m confronting darkness. And help others my age to rise up too. Light a fire in this generation. Amen.

I keep praying for California. It’s where so much influence comes from—media, tech, culture. If it stays under corrupt leadership, the rest of the nation suffers. And Gavin Newsom is a huge part of the problem. He’s not just a symptom—he’s a driver. A slick, dangerous one.

Scripture #5 – Ephesians 5:11
“Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.”
I will not pretend like he’s just “a different opinion.” This is about life and death, truth and lies, freedom and oppression. I will expose the lies. And I’ll keep praying that others will too.

Prayer #5
God, expose Gavin Newsom for who he truly is. Let the media spin fall flat. Let people see the spiritual truth behind his policies. Don’t let deception win. And please—PLEASE—do not let this man ever become President. Protect this country. Wake us up before it’s too late. In Jesus’ powerful name, Amen.

I know You’re in control, Lord. That gives me peace, even when I feel overwhelmed. I trust You. I do. I just needed to vent. To process. To cry out. Because I don’t want to see America fall deeper into darkness. I don’t want my future kids growing up in a nation run by leaders who mock Your design.

Please, Lord… redeem California. And protect this country from Gavin Newsom.

Evil Los Angeles Rioters: 4 Prayers for America’s Police Officers

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

I saw another clip today—more fires, more screaming, more broken glass and broken people. It’s all happening in Los Angeles again, and other cities too. I feel this awful weight in my chest, like I’m watching the heart of our country bleed out in slow motion. I just want to run somewhere quiet and safe, where the world isn’t upside down.

But most of all, I just keep thinking about the police officers—those men and women who go into the chaos every single day with a badge on their chest and targets on their backs. God, help them.

It feels like no one is praying for them anymore. Or maybe they are, but not loud enough. The world is shouting with so much anger that I wonder if our quiet prayers even get heard. But I have to believe they do. I have to.

Tonight, I prayed harder than I have in weeks. Not for myself, or even for peace in general—but specifically for every police officer in this country. The good ones. The tired ones. The scared ones. The brave ones. The ones who still show up even when they’re hated for just putting on the uniform.

I wrote down five prayers to keep in my Bible, and maybe I’ll print them and put them in my car or post them somewhere. Maybe someone else needs to pray them too.

Prayer 1: For Divine Protection
Dear Lord, please place Your heavenly protection around every police officer tonight. Whether they’re on duty in Los Angeles or in a quiet rural town, cover them with Your shield. Let no weapon formed against them prosper. Hold them close when they walk into danger, and guide their steps away from traps set by evil. Let them come home to their families safely. Please, Father, be their armor.

Prayer 2: For Peace in the Midst of Chaos
God, bring peace into the hearts of officers who are facing hostile crowds and terrifying situations. Let them feel Your presence in the noise. When bricks are thrown, when sirens scream, when their hands shake from adrenaline, remind them that they are never alone. Be their calm, their stillness in the storm. Let them breathe You in when everything around them feels like it’s falling apart.

Prayer 3: For Moral Strength and Discernment
Father, give officers the strength to do what is right even when it’s hard. Let them be just, wise, and merciful. Help them discern truth in a world full of lies and deception. May they reflect Your light in dark places, and make decisions with courage and integrity. Lord, we know not every officer is perfect, but help them strive to be righteous in every moment.

Prayer 4: For Their Families
Lord, please bless the families who say goodbye every morning not knowing if they’ll say hello again. Comfort the wives, husbands, parents, and children who wait by the door or the phone. Give them peace that surpasses understanding. Let them feel Your arms wrapped around them when anxiety creeps in. Protect not just the officers—but everyone who loves them.

Sometimes I feel silly writing things like this down, like maybe people would roll their eyes if they knew how much I care. But I do. I care so much it hurts. And I think part of that is because I’ve seen the other side. I’ve had friends in law enforcement. I’ve prayed with them, cried with them, and once even went to a funeral for one of them. He was only 30. Shot trying to help someone who was being robbed.

People don’t see that side. They see uniforms and headlines. They forget the tears. They forget that officers have hearts, that they go home and kiss their kids goodnight just like everyone else. And now, in this season of riots and rage, it feels like we’ve stopped listening. We’ve let hate be louder than hope.

But I won’t stop praying. Even if I’m the only one in my circle who does. Even if people think it’s old-fashioned or naive. I believe that prayer moves mountains. I believe that Jesus walks with our police officers, especially in the middle of the fire. And if no one else will say their names in prayer—I will.

So tonight, as my candles flicker and the wind blows outside, I lift every officer’s name up to heaven. The ones I know, and the ones I don’t. The ones who feel invisible. The ones who are barely holding on. The ones who still believe in protecting and serving, even when it costs everything.

Lord, hold them close. Don’t let go of them.

And maybe—just maybe—heal us too.

Jehovah-Jireh: Relax and Never Forget That God is Always in Control

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

This was a very difficult post for me to write, although it may not seem like it while reading, but this is my 5th draft, and I’m still not sure if it’s as polished as I hoped it would be, but I started writing this a few weeks ago, and have decided to hit “PUBLISH”. I do hope it’s worthy of your eyes. God bless!

Please enjoy………

If you were to ask me which name of God means the most to me, I wouldn’t even hesitate. Without a doubt, it’s Jehovah-Jireh — “The Lord Will Provide.” It’s one of those names that has become deeply personal over the years. Not just a theological concept or something I read about once in a devotional, but a truth that I’ve had to cling to through real-life moments of fear, uncertainty, and waiting.

The first time this name shows up in Scripture is in Genesis 22, and honestly, every time I read that story, it hits a little different. It’s the one where God tells Abraham to sacrifice his beloved son, Isaac — the very child God had promised him. Like, imagine that. You finally get the promise you’ve waited years and years for, and now God asks you to lay it on the altar? That’s intense.

So Abraham and Isaac climb up Mount Moriah. And somewhere along the way, Isaac notices something’s off. He looks around and goes, “Hey Dad, we’ve got the fire and the wood, but where’s the lamb for the burnt offering?” (Genesis 22:7). And Abraham, in what I imagine was a mix of steady faith and a trembling heart, answers, “God will provide for Himself the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.”

Spoiler alert (but also Bible history): just as Abraham is about to sacrifice Isaac, God stops him. An angel of the Lord calls out to him, and Abraham looks up to see a ram caught in a nearby thicket. God had already placed that ram there — ahead of time, before Abraham or Isaac even started their climb. Abraham ends up naming that place Jehovah-Jireh, saying, “On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided” (Genesis 22:14).

That phrase — Jehovah-Jireh — literally means “The Lord will provide,” but there’s something deeper in the original Hebrew. It carries the idea of seeing ahead of time. God doesn’t just provide in the moment; He sees your need before you even know you have one. He’s already made a way. He’s already put the ram in the thicket.

That gets me every time.

Because here’s the thing: life is hard. I’m 24, and while I’m still learning and growing (a lot!), I’ve already been through enough to know that life rarely goes according to plan. The economy is wild. Friendships change. Health scares show up out of nowhere. Doors close without warning. Sometimes it feels like everything is spinning, and I’m doing my best to hold it all together with coffee, prayer, and a halfway decent Spotify worship playlist.

But in the middle of all that chaos, I come back to Jehovah-Jireh. I come back to the God who provides — the God who sees me and knows what I need, even when I don’t know how to ask for it.

If I’m being honest, one of my biggest struggles is control. I like to have a plan. I like to know what’s next. I’m that girl with the color-coded planner, the backup plans, and the contingency ideas just in case things don’t go perfectly. Letting go and trusting in God does come naturally for me, but trusting in others does not. It’s like getting on an airplane and handing over control to a pilot I’ve never met. I have no idea what they’re doing, how they’re navigating, or what turbulence is coming — but I have to trust they’ll get me safely to my destination.

That’s what walking with God is like. He sees the storm clouds before we even feel the raindrops. He knows which paths are dangerous and which ones will grow us. And He knows exactly when to bring the ram into view.

I’ve had seasons where provision looked like a last-minute job offer I didn’t expect. Other times, it was a friend texting at just the right moment to pray with me. I’ve seen God provide financially when I didn’t know how I’d pay rent. I’ve seen Him provide peace that didn’t make sense and guidance when I felt totally lost.

Provision isn’t always flashy. Sometimes it’s quiet — a small shift in your heart, a whisper of hope, a sense that even though you don’t have the full answer yet, you’re not alone. Jehovah-Jireh shows up in the details, in the waiting, and even in the heartbreak.

We tend to think that provision always means getting what we want — the dream job, the healing, the breakthrough. But sometimes, God provides in the not yet. Sometimes, His provision is the strength to endure. The grace to wait well. The peace that doesn’t come from circumstances, but from knowing He’s near.

God is never surprised. Like, ever. Nothing catches Him off guard. That test result? He saw it coming. That sudden layoff? He already had a plan. That friendship that fell apart? He knows what it means, and He knows how to heal you. He’s not distant. He’s not panicking. He’s not playing catch-up.

He is Jehovah-Jireh.

So here’s what I’m learning to do (imperfectly, but intentionally): I’m learning to take my hands off the wheel. I’m learning to stop trying to run the show and instead, trust that God is already ahead of me. I don’t have to manipulate things into working out. I don’t have to stress myself sick trying to make sure everything goes perfectly. My job is obedience and trust. His job is provision and timing.

If you’re in a season where you don’t see the ram yet — where you’re climbing the mountain and you’re tired and confused and wondering what in the world God is doing — take heart. He’s not late. He hasn’t forgotten you. The thicket is closer than you think.

Maybe the provision won’t look like what you expected. Maybe it’ll stretch your faith and require more waiting than you planned for. But you can trust that God will provide. Because it’s not just what He does — it’s who He is.

So today, even if your world feels unstable and your heart feels heavy, remember the God of Abraham. Remember the God who sees in advance. Remember Jehovah-Jireh.

And take a deep breath — He’s already gone ahead of you.

Beyond the Offense: Walking in Grace Every Day

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

I’ve been thinking a lot about grace — not just the kind God gives me (which is endless and overwhelming), but the kind I struggle to give others.

It hit me today while I was standing in line at the grocery store. The cashier was moving slowly, visibly flustered, and my first reaction was frustration. My thoughts weren’t kind. I didn’t say anything harsh out loud, but inside… I was not gracious. And I’ve been carrying that moment around with me all day. Not because it was huge, but because it revealed something in me.

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I want to be someone who extends grace. But if I’m honest, I’m quick to criticize and slow to encourage. I spot flaws faster than I celebrate growth in others.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)

This verse has been tugging at my heart all week. God has shown me so much mercy — and I didn’t earn a bit of it. So why is it so hard for me to pass it on? Why do I expect people to be perfect, when I know I’m not?

Prayer 1:


Jesus, help me reflect You. Not just in what I say I believe, but in how I treat people. Make me someone who notices the good, who gives the benefit of the doubt, who’s patient with others the way You’re endlessly patient with me.

I’ve especially noticed how easy it is to be hard on the people closest to me. I snap at my siblings when they annoy me. I judge my friends for choices I don’t agree with. I get irritated when my parents repeat themselves or when my coworker is late — again. And yet, God doesn’t deal with me like that.

“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” – Psalm 103:8 (NIV)

I read that and think: How can I possibly mirror that kind of love? But then I remember — it’s not something I can manufacture on my own. It’s the Holy Spirit in me. Without Him, I’m just stuck in my old ways.

Prayer 2:
Holy Spirit, please shape me. Soften the parts of me that are harsh, impatient, and critical. Create in me a heart that is gentle and gracious. I want to grow, even if it means being uncomfortable.

I know I’m not alone in this. Our whole culture encourages us to “speak our truth,” to be brutally honest, to point out what’s wrong in everyone else. But I’m starting to see that sometimes the bravest thing is to hold back criticism, and instead speak words that build others up.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” – Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

I feel convicted reading that. How often do my words actually build others up? Not as often as they should. I gossip sometimes, even if I call it venting. I speak in sarcasm and call it humor. I critique my church instead of praying for it. I highlight what’s lacking instead of celebrating what God is doing.

Prayer 3:
Father, forgive me for using my words carelessly. Help me be someone who speaks life, who encourages more than critiques. Let my mouth be an instrument of grace — not just with friends, but even with strangers.

What’s crazy is that I know grace works. I’ve experienced it. There have been times when I’ve failed, and instead of condemnation, I received love and understanding. Those moments changed me more than any lecture ever could.

So why don’t I lead with grace more often? Maybe it’s pride. Maybe I think people should know better. But then I think of Jesus — how He washed feet, how He forgave from the cross, how He invited sinners to eat with Him.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8 (NIV)

He didn’t wait for us to clean up. He loved us right where we were. That humbles me. Because I don’t deserve that kind of love — and yet, I’ve received it every single day.

Prayer 4:
Jesus, make me more like You. Help me stop measuring others by standards I can’t even meet myself. Fill me with compassion. Let Your grace flow through me — not just to me.

I think one of the hardest things is learning to forgive people who don’t apologize, or who don’t even realize they hurt me. But I’ve learned that holding onto offense doesn’t protect me — it poisons me. Grace, on the other hand, frees me.

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” – Colossians 3:13 (NIV)

That’s the standard. Forgive as the Lord forgave me. And how did He forgive me? Fully. Freely. Forever.

Prayer 5:
Lord, give me the strength to forgive when it’s hard. When people don’t say sorry. When they don’t change. When I’m tempted to hold a grudge. I want to live light and free — not weighed down by bitterness.

Tonight, as I sit with all of this, I feel a holy discomfort. God is stretching me. But it’s not out of guilt — it’s out of love. He’s inviting me into a new way of living. A way marked by grace. Not just receiving it, but extending it.

So tomorrow, I want to try again. I want to be slower to speak and quicker to understand. I want to catch myself before I criticize. I want to look for the good. And when I mess up — because I will — I’ll lean into His grace once again.

He’s not asking me to be perfect. He’s asking me to be surrendered.

Thank Goodness GOD Isn’t Fair

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

I sat on my bed after reading Luke 6:35 for probably the tenth time thisweek, but this time… it got under my skin. Like, deeply under.

“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” — Luke 6:35

That verse makes me squirm. Not because I don’t love You—but because I don’t love them. The people who ghosted me. The friend who betrayed my trust. The guy who took my kindness and used it like a doormat. And yet, You’re telling me to love them? And not just tolerate them… but do good to them?

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Prayer #1:
Lord, help me be honest about how hard this is. I want to follow You, even when it feels like I’m walking straight into pain.

I always thought fairness was a godly trait. You do good, you get good. Do bad, and well… consequences. But then here comes Jesus, saying, “Love the ones who hurt you. Give without expecting. Be kind to the ungrateful and the wicked.”

That’s not fair.

But You know what’s wild? I’m starting to think… maybe that’s the best thing about You, God.

Because if You were fair, if You gave me what I deserved—I’d be toast. And not the good kind. The burnt, stale kind.

“He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.” — Psalm 103:10

Prayer #2:
God, thank You for not being fair. Thank You for mercy that flows deeper than my mistakes.

Fairness would have left me out in the cold for all the lies I told in high school, for every time I gossiped to look cool, for the quiet pride I still carry in my chest that whispers, “I’m better than them.”

But grace? Grace says: I see it all… and I still want you.

Prayer #3:
Jesus, make me more like You. Teach me to love people who don’t “deserve” it—because that’s how You love me.

This is the hard truth I keep wrestling with: I’m not the hero in the story. I’m not the one extending grace from a throne of righteousness. I’m the one who needs it. Desperately.

And so when You say, “Be kind to the ungrateful and wicked,” maybe You’re not just talking about them. Maybe You’re talking about me.

Prayer #4:
Break down my pride, Lord. Help me stop seeing myself as better than others. Remind me we’re all standing in need of the same grace.

It’s easy to believe in grace when I’m the one receiving it. It’s way harder when You ask me to give it away like candy—especially to people who don’t even say thank you.

But then I remember… I don’t always say thank you either. I take Your blessings for granted. I doubt Your goodness. I disobey and apologize later like it’s no big deal. And You still love me. You still bless me.

“While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” — Romans 5:8

Prayer #5:
God, let that verse never lose its weight. You loved me while I was sinning. Not after. Not once I cleaned up. Right in the mess.

So when I say, “God isn’t fair,” I don’t mean it in the bitter way some people do. I mean it with relief. Because fair would’ve left me without hope. Fair would’ve cut me off the moment I messed up. But You? You run toward the mess. You meet me with kindness that I didn’t earn.

And now… You’re asking me to do the same. Not because it’s easy. Not even because it feels good. But because it’s how Your Kingdom works.

Prayer #6:
Jesus, give me the courage to love in unfair ways. Help me bless those who curse me. Fill me with Your compassion when mine runs dry.

Today I thought about the person who hurt me the most last year. It still stings. I don’t want to pretend like it didn’t matter. But I also don’t want bitterness to chain me up. I want to be free. And I think freedom is found in that unfair, radical grace You keep showing me.

Prayer #7:
Help me forgive, God. Even if they never apologize. Even if they don’t change. Help me let go, not for them—but for You.

And help me love generously, not because I trust the other person—but because I trust You.

Maybe that’s the real root of this all. Trust. Do I trust You enough to follow You into uncomfortable places? Into unfair love? Into mercy that looks foolish?

I think I’m learning to say yes. One wobbly, messy yes at a time.

Prayer #8:
Father, thank You for loving me so well. Let my life reflect that kind of love, even when it costs me. Especially then.

Thank goodness You aren’t fair, God. Thank goodness You’re good instead.

Parenthood, Not Gay Pride: Children Deserve a Mom and Dad

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

I’m so mad I can barely think straight. I don’t even want to write right now, but I feel like I have to. If I don’t pour this out to God, I might explode.

Everywhere I turn — social media, news, even some churches — they’re pushing this idea that any kind of family is okay. That love is love. That it doesn’t matter if a child has a mom and a dad, or two dads, or two moms, or who even knows what else. And I know I’m supposed to be kind and tolerant, but when I see God’s design being flipped upside down, it stirs something in me that I can’t ignore.

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I feel alone sometimes in what I believe. Like if I open my mouth and say what’s on my heart, I’ll be labeled a bigot or hateful. But I’m not hateful. I care. That’s why it makes me so angry — because kids are being robbed of something sacred. They need both a mother and a father. That’s how God made it.

“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” – Genesis 1:27 (NKJV)

I believe this down to my bones. God made man and woman on purpose. It wasn’t random. It was intentional. Masculinity and femininity reflect different aspects of God’s character. And a child raised by both a mom and a dad gets the chance to learn from both — to be nurtured and challenged, comforted and protected. That balance matters.

—

Lord, I’m angry right now. But underneath that anger is grief. I feel like the world is calling evil good and good evil. Please help me respond with both truth and grace. Give me boldness, but also wisdom. Don’t let my frustration become sin. Help me speak Your truth in love.

—

Today I saw a video of two men adopting a baby. The comments were full of applause — people calling them brave, calling it beautiful. I couldn’t help but feel sick to my stomach. Not because I hate them — I don’t. I actually feel sad for them. But also sad for the baby. That child will never know the warmth of a mother’s embrace. And we’re supposed to just smile and say “love is love”? I can’t.

“Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness…” – Isaiah 5:20

I want to scream. I want to ask people — don’t you see what’s happening? This isn’t just about opinions. This is about children’s lives. This is about foundational truths. This is about God’s order being traded in for chaos.

But when I speak up, I get told I’m judgmental. That Jesus would accept everyone. And yes, He did welcome everyone, but He also told them to go and sin no more. He never compromised truth just to keep the peace.

—

Jesus, help me love like You. You never backed down from truth, and You never stopped loving. That’s the kind of boldness I want — one rooted in Your Spirit. I don’t want to be self-righteous, but I also refuse to go silent. Give me courage to speak when it’s uncomfortable. Help me stand for children and for Your design, even if the world hates me for it.

—

I don’t hate gay people. I don’t wish them harm. But I’m tired of being forced to say that their version of family is equal to what God created. It’s not. I won’t pretend that it is. Not because I’m mean — but because I believe God’s way is best.

“Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife’?” – Matthew 19:4-5

Jesus said that. Not Paul, not Moses — Jesus. That’s all the confirmation I need. Marriage is between a man and a woman. And children deserve to grow up under that covenant, not some modern substitute.

—

God, I confess that I’ve been afraid to talk about this. I don’t want to lose friends. I don’t want to be mocked or misunderstood. But I also don’t want to betray You by going silent. Please give me strength. Let my convictions come from Your Word, not my emotions. And let my emotions be sanctified by truth.

—

I think part of my anger comes from fear, if I’m honest. I wonder what kind of world I’ll raise my future children in. Will they be taught that biology doesn’t matter? That two dads are the same as a mom and a dad? That feelings define reality?

It terrifies me. I don’t want my kids growing up in a world that erases God’s fingerprints from creation.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6

But how can we train children in the way of the Lord if we’re teaching them lies from the start? That their mother is optional? That their father is replaceable? God help us.

—

Father, protect the next generation. Raise up moms and dads who will fight for their families, who will model Your love, who won’t compromise. And for those children who grow up without both parents, bring healing. Be their Father. Be their hope. But let us never stop upholding Your design, even when culture tries to rewrite it.

—

I cried earlier. Just sat in my car and cried because I feel so heavy with this. I don’t want to be angry. I want to be hopeful. But I can’t pretend everything’s fine when it’s not.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” – John 10:10

That’s what keeps me going. Jesus came to restore what was broken. That includes families. That includes our culture. That includes me.

—

Jesus, bring revival. Let truth rise up again in this land. Let churches stop watering down Your Word just to avoid controversy. Let us not be ashamed of the gospel — not in our homes, not in public, not anywhere. Help me love fiercely, but also stand firmly. You are truth, and I won’t trade You for comfort.

—

I’m still angry. But I think now I’m also a little more grounded. I needed this time with God. I needed to write this all down — the fire, the fear, the frustration. I may be 24, but I feel like I’ve lived a lifetime already trying to make sense of a world that doesn’t want truth.

But I still believe. I still trust His plan. And I will not stay silent.

When Doing Good Gets Hard

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

The world feels so far from God, so blind to truth. It’s like I’m watching everything I once believed to be sacred get mocked, twisted, and cast aside. Morality is now “hate,” and sin is celebrated as “love.” Sometimes I feel like I’m screaming into the void, trying to shine light in a world that only wants darkness.

I walked downtown today to grab a coffee and journal a bit, hoping I could clear my head and maybe find some peace in nature. But the streets were filled with rainbow flags again. I get it—people feel empowered, seen, heard. But it breaks my heart to see how normalized sin has become. It’s everywhere: on billboards, TV shows, clothing lines, even kids’ cartoons. And no one blinks anymore. What’s wrong is right, and what’s right is “intolerant.” I can’t understand how we’ve fallen this far.

Scripture 1:

“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness.” – Isaiah 5:20

Lord, is this not exactly what we’re living through?

Prayer 1:
God, I feel like I’m drowning in a world that has forgotten You. Please strengthen my heart. Let me not grow bitter or cold, but filled with Your truth and compassion. Help me to keep standing in Your Word, even when the world calls me hateful. You know my heart, Lord. Keep it pure.

I saw a group of young women my age laughing and taking selfies with signs promoting abortion “rights.” They looked so proud—so confident. I had to look away. The idea of ending life and calling it “freedom” makes me sick. I don’t hate them, Lord. I truly don’t. But I mourn for the babies, and I mourn for the lies these women have been fed. They’ve been told they’re empowered, but they’re only being led deeper into darkness.

Scripture 2:

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you.” – Jeremiah 1:5

Each baby is a soul, a creation of God. How have we come to treat life like a burden instead of a blessing?

Prayer 2:
Father, my heart is broken for the unborn. For every child whose voice was never heard, who never saw sunlight or felt a mother’s embrace. Have mercy on us, Lord. Have mercy on this generation. Open our eyes to the value of life, and help me be a voice of love, not condemnation.

I feel like I’m constantly walking this tightrope—how do I speak truth without sounding cruel? How do I love like Jesus when my beliefs are seen as outdated and oppressive?

Even at church, I feel a shift. Some pastors are watering down the gospel to keep people comfortable. I understand wanting to reach people, but not at the expense of truth. Jesus was never afraid to speak hard truths. He flipped tables. He called sin what it was. But He also loved fiercely. I want to be like that. I have to be like that.

Scripture 3:

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind…” – Romans 12:2

Even if the whole world shifts, I won’t. I can’t.

Prayer 3:
Jesus, help me not to conform. Even when I feel alone, remind me that You were hated too. You stood for truth and love in perfect harmony. Give me boldness to do the same. Let my life reflect You—even if I lose friends, status, or comfort along the way.

Sometimes I wish I lived in a different time—a time when Christian values were the norm and not the exception. But maybe I’m here for a reason. Maybe God placed me in this moment, in this broken world, for a purpose. Maybe I was born for such a time as this.

Scripture 4:

“And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” – Esther 4:14

I don’t feel royal most days. I feel weak and small and tired. But God uses the weak. He always has.

Prayer 4:
Lord, if You can use someone like Esther, You can use me. Let me be a light in this darkness. Let me be salt in a tasteless world. And when I feel like giving up, hold me tighter. You are my strength when I have none.

I think what hurts most is that many people think I’m hateful just because I believe in biblical truth. But my heart aches for this generation. I want people to know they were made for more. That sex isn’t love. That pleasure isn’t purpose. That there is a better way—and His name is Jesus.

I know I’m not perfect. I have my own sins, my own struggles. But I’m forgiven, redeemed, and called to live differently.

Scripture 5:

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.” – Matthew 5:14

I may be small, but I’m not invisible. I can shine. Even if the world doesn’t like it.

Prayer 5:
Jesus, let me be that city on a hill. Let my light shine—not so people see me, but so they see You. Give me courage to speak when I’m scared, to love when I’m angry, to stand when it would be easier to sit down. Help me never give up on Your truth, no matter what the world says.

Tonight, I’m ending this day with both tears and hope.

I know the road ahead won’t be easy. The darkness will keep getting louder. But so will my light. I wasn’t called to be comfortable—I was called to be faithful.

So I’ll keep sharing the gospel. I’ll keep praying for hearts to change. I’ll keep leading by example—quietly, boldly, consistently. Even if it costs me everything.

Jesus gave everything for me.

I can’t give Him any less.

– Amen.

My YouTube Channel is Perfect for Everyone, Especially Christians

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

After weeks—maybe even months—of going back and forth, praying for clarity, and wrestling with some real fear of being misunderstood or criticized, I finally did it. I launched my YouTube channel to the publiv (I kept it private for many months). I’m still kind of in shock.

It’s not just any YouTube channel either—this one’s political. I know, I know. It sounds like a mess waiting to happen, especially in the world we’re living in right now where everything feels so divided. But I’ve felt such a strong pull on my heart to step up and speak the truth—real truth—not just the kind that gets pushed around by talking heads on TV.

It honestly started with frustration. Every time I turned on the news or scrolled through social media, I felt like I was being spoon-fed half-truths. Things are happening in this country and around the world that the mainstream media just refuses to cover, and if they do, it’s always through a distorted lens. It was driving me crazy.

But more than that, I started to feel convicted. As a Christian, I can’t just sit back and ignore what’s happening. We’re called to be salt and light in the world—to stand for what’s right, even when it’s uncomfortable. And believe me, this is uncomfortable. Putting my opinions out there, especially on political issues, is scary. But God didn’t give me a spirit of fear. He gave me boldness.

So I created this channel to speak plainly about the things people are either too scared to say or too blind to see. I don’t claim to know everything—I’m still learning every day—but I’m not afraid to ask hard questions and challenge the narratives we’re constantly being fed. I want this to be a space where people can think freely and hear perspectives that aren’t being broadcast on the nightly news.

Please take a look at my YouTube Channel Here!

I uploaded my first video this afternoon. It’s rough, to be honest. The lighting’s not great, and I was super nervous. But I just talked from the heart. That’s what matters, right? I hope that people who are sick of the spin, the bias, the manipulation—will find a little truth and hope in what I’m doing.

I already got a couple of comments, and one was a bit mean. That part stung. But then I remembered Jesus said we’d be hated for speaking truth in His name. So I prayed for that person and moved on. I’m doing this for a bigger reason than popularity. I’m doing it because I truly believe that Christians need to be part of the cultural conversation—not hidden away in fear.

So here I am—24, Christian, not a media expert, but trying my best to follow what God’s put on my heart. I’m nervous, I’m excited, and most of all, I’m surrendered.

Lord, use this for Your glory. Even if only one person watches and thinks deeper about the truth, it’s worth it.

Until next time,
The Christian Tech Nerd

P.S. If anyone stumbles across this in the future—check out the channel. It’s raw and honest, and it’s just getting started.