The weight I carry right now feels invisible to most people around me, but it’s real. It’s heavy. I woke up this morning with that all-too-familiar lump in my throat and a silent scream buried in my chest. I prayed through tears again today. I cried in the shower. I smiled at strangers, but my soul was trembling.
And I know I’m not alone. That’s what burdens me even more—so many of us are walking wounded. So many of us show up, dressed nice, speaking faith, all while dragging chains no one sees.
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But here’s the truth I can’t stop clinging to: I will not be swallowed up by this storm. I will not stay down. I will run—to Jesus.
Because honestly? I don’t have any more fake strength left. I’m done pretending. This world is too brutal, too shallow, too loud. I’m not about to let this generation normalize numbness. We were never meant to carry our pain alone. That’s why Jesus came. That’s why He still stays.
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” – Psalm 46:1
The fight I’m in right now—it’s messy. It’s one of those inner battles you can’t really post about or fully explain. Maybe you know the kind: The kind where you’re questioning if your prayers are even getting past the ceiling. The kind where the enemy whispers, “You’re alone, and no one sees you.”
Lies. All of it. The devil is a liar. And I’m not here to play nice with deception. I will confront it head-on with the sword of truth.
“When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him.” – Isaiah 59:19
I can’t control everything that hits me—but I get to choose where I run. I get to choose where I collapse. And I will not collapse into hopelessness. I will collapse into the arms of my Savior.
Run to Jesus. Not in pieces. Not in shame. Not as a last resort—but as my only constant, my first response, my strongest defense.
He is not just a comforter when life hurts. He is the Conqueror over every valley I’ll ever walk through. He is not intimidated by my trauma, not exhausted by my anxiety, and not distant from my suffering.
When I don’t know where to step next, He leads.
When I can’t find words to pray, He hears.
When I don’t even feel worthy to be seen, He draws near.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18
Jesus isn’t offering me a band-aid. He’s offering me victory. He doesn’t pacify the pain; He pierces it with power. He breaks chains. He silences storms. He raises the dead. What makes me think He can’t hold my heartache too?
It’s time I stopped carrying what He already died to take from me. And that might sound dramatic—but the Cross was dramatic. My salvation was bloody. Grace was never cute or easy. It was sacrificial. It was costly. And I’m done treating it like it’s optional.
So here’s my prayer tonight:
Lord Jesus,
I run to You right now. Not halfway. Not casually. But desperately, urgently, wholeheartedly.
I give You this fear. I give You this confusion. I give You my anger and sadness.
You said You are my refuge—and I believe You.
You said You are my strength—and I receive that.
You said You are near—and I lean into Your presence.
Help me stop performing strength when You are my strength.
Help me stop seeking peace in things that were never designed to hold me.
Teach me how to rest, how to trust, how to believe again.
You are my shelter in this storm.
You are my Rock when the ground shakes.
You are my Shepherd when I’m lost.
You are my Deliverer when I feel stuck.
You are not late. You are not absent. You are not cruel.
You are here. You are enough. And You are working.
I trust You. I choose You. I run to You.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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