Tag: Romans 5:8

Are You a True Disciple of Jesus, or Just Familiar with our Savior?

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

I can’t shake the question. It’s been pressing on my heart all week, echoing like a whisper I can’t ignore:

“Will Jesus say He knew me when I stand before Him in heaven?”

It hits different when I ask it out loud.
It’s not just about whether I know about You — it’s whether I truly know You. Intimately. Genuinely. Deeply.

Because here’s the thing — I’ve spent years in church pews, sang the worship songs, prayed the public prayers, quoted the Scriptures. But that doesn’t guarantee that You’ll say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” (Matthew 25:23)

Honestly, the thought of standing before You and hearing, “Depart from Me, I never knew you” (Matthew 7:23) — it wrecks me. Not out of fear, but out of reverence. I don’t want a shallow version of this faith. I don’t want a Jesus I visit on Sundays and forget by Monday. I want to live like You are real — because You ARE.

And You’re not just real — You’re everything.

God, You said in Jeremiah 29:13,

“You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.”

So here I am again tonight, seeking You with my whole heart. Not for blessings. Not for comfort. Not even for answers. Just for You.

Jesus,
There are moments when I look around and realize how many people claim to know You… but how few actually live like they do. And if I’m being brutally honest — I’ve had seasons where I was one of them.

I said the right words. I knew the theology. But my heart was numb. My prayers were mechanical. And my Bible collected more dust than revelation.

But You didn’t give up on me.
You pursued me. You waited for me. You loved me back to life.

How can I ever thank You for that?

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8

Thank You, Jesus, for wanting to know me. That truth alone melts my soul. You, the Creator of the universe, chose me. Not because I’m worthy, but because You’re good. You didn’t grow tired of my inconsistency. You didn’t give up on me when I wandered. You held my hand in the valley and whispered, “I’m still here.”

I think sometimes we forget that knowing You isn’t just about information — it’s about relationship. And relationships take time. Intentionality. Conversation. Trust.

You’ve shown me that real intimacy with You is built in the secret place — not the spotlight. In whispered prayers. In wrestling with doubt. In the moments no one else sees.

“Be still, and know that I am God.” – Psalm 46:10

You’ve taught me to be still. And in that stillness, I’ve come to know You not just as Savior… but as Friend. As Shepherd. As King… and yet closer than my breath.

Lord, I’ve been thinking about how we treat this relationship sometimes like a checklist.
Did I read my Bible? ✅
Did I pray before my meal? ✅
Did I go to church? ✅

But You’re not looking for a checklist. You’re looking for communion.

You want us to abide.

“Abide in Me, and I in you…” – John 15:4

What an honor that is. That we — broken, distracted, imperfect — get to dwell in the presence of the Almighty God, every single day. What grace. What undeserved grace.

Here’s the confronting part — and I won’t sugarcoat it:
I think we need to stop pretending that proximity to Christian culture is the same as proximity to Christ.

Just because I grew up in church doesn’t mean I know You.
Just because I listen to worship music doesn’t mean I worship You.
Just because I post Scriptures online doesn’t mean I live them.

I’m tired of half-hearted Christianity.
I don’t want to flirt with faith. I want to marry myself to it.

Jesus,
I want You to recognize me when I walk into eternity.
I want You to look me in the eyes and say, “You walked with Me. You trusted Me. You knew Me — and I knew you.”

So here’s my prayer — raw and unfiltered:

Lord,


Strip me of every performance-driven mindset.
Tear down the walls I’ve built around my heart.
Expose every false version of You I’ve believed.
Silence the noise of religion and bring me back to the wonder of relationship.

Help me to know You as You truly are — not who I’ve imagined or heard about secondhand.
I want Your truth, not my version of it.
More than blessings, more than breakthrough — I want You.

Jesus, teach me to seek Your face, not just Your hand.
Let me fall in love with Your Word all over again.
Make my heart burn like the disciples on the road to Emmaus when You opened the Scriptures to them. (Luke 24:32)

And when I’m tempted to perform, to impress, or to hide — remind me that You never asked for perfection. You asked for proximity. You asked for love.

I feel the weight of eternity pressing into this moment.

How I live here matters. Not for salvation — that’s grace alone — but for relationship.
This life is training ground for forever.
I want to show up in heaven already familiar with Your voice.
I want to walk in and feel like I’m home, not like I’m meeting a stranger.

The truth is, Jesus, without You I’d be so lost. I’ve seen what my life looks like when I drift — and it’s ugly. It’s aimless. It’s hollow.

You are my anchor when the world sways.
You are the only constant in this chaotic life.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing.” – John 15:5

Apart from You, I can do nothing.

And maybe that’s the whole point.
Knowing You isn’t about striving… it’s about surrender.
It’s not about doing more… it’s about abiding deeper.
It’s not about being “good enough”… it’s about being in love enough to never let go.

Final Prayer of Gratitude

Thank You, Jesus, for desiring to know me more.
Thank You for never growing tired of our relationship, even when I bring my brokenness to the table.
Thank You for revealing Yourself to me through Your Word — for speaking into my soul, for comforting me when I’m weary, for correcting me when I stray.

Thank You for choosing me.
I’m not just a name in the crowd to You — I’m Your child.
And I want to spend the rest of my life, and all eternity, getting to know You more.

So tonight, I ask again — not just as a question, but as a commitment:

How well do I know Jesus?

Not well enough.
But I will.

Every day, every prayer, every choice —
I will keep chasing Your heart.

Until the day I stand before You face to face,
and You smile and say,

“I know you.”

Amen.

Whispers of Mercy: A Christian Prayer of Forgiveness

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

My heart has been stirring around lately by things I’ve kept buried deep — wounds I pretended didn’t matter, words I’ve long tried to forget, people I told myself I’d forgiven, yet my heart says otherwise.

I’ve realized something tonight: All Christians — not just me — have been hurt by others. Every single one of us has faced betrayal, heartbreak, disappointment. It’s part of this broken world we live in. But holding on to the pain doesn’t heal it. It cages it. And in turn, it cages me.

There’s someone… maybe more than one… who has caused anger and bitterness to rise in me more than I ever wanted to admit. I thought ignoring the feelings was the same as overcoming them. But that’s not true. The pain has just been hiding, simmering beneath my prayers and smiles.

Tonight, I’m ready to be honest.

Prayer #1: A Prayer to Release Bitterness

Heavenly Father,

I lay my heart bare before You. You know the hidden bitterness I’ve held onto — the anger I thought was justified. Lord, I’m tired. I don’t want to carry it anymore. I choose to forgive, even if my feelings aren’t there yet. Help my heart to follow the truth of Your Word, not the deceit of my emotions.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger… Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:31-32
I want to live in that freedom. I want to forgive, as You forgave me. Please help me.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.

There’s this idea I used to believe — that forgiving someone meant saying what they did was okay. But it’s not. It wasn’t. And God sees that. What they did broke something in me. But God also doesn’t ask me to pretend. He just asks me to trust Him. That’s what forgiveness is: trust.

I have judged people harshly in my heart, secretly wishing God would repay them for what they did to me. But tonight, Lord, I surrender those thoughts to You.

“Do not repay anyone evil for evil… Do not take revenge… but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” – Romans 12:17-19

Prayer #2: A Prayer of Surrender


Jesus,


I surrender every person who has wounded me into Your hands. I give up the desire to punish them with silence, with coldness, with bitterness.

That’s not who You’ve called me to be. Because You are my Lord, I free them from my judgment and my sinful reactions.


I give them back to You — Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. You alone are the righteous Judge. Help me to see them as You see them, not through the lens of my pain.


I place them at Your throne of grace.


In Your mercy, Amen.

I once read that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. That stuck with me. I see it now more clearly than ever — it’s not just about them, it’s about my heart being held captive.

And Jesus died to set my heart free.

So why do I still grip the chains so tightly?

Prayer #3: A Prayer to Let Go


Heavenly Father,


I’m loosening my grip. I’m placing all my expectations, my disappointments, and my unanswered questions at the foot of the cross. I don’t need answers anymore. I need You.
I release them. I give them entirely to You. I loose them and let them go.
I want to walk in freedom. Please fill every space in me that hurt tried to own. Fill it with Your Spirit. Fill it with love.


“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7
I cast this pain to You, Lord.
Amen.

It’s hard to admit that even after all You’ve forgiven me for, I still wrestle to forgive someone else. That I still put up walls and guard my heart in ways You never asked me to.

But Your Word says:
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” – Matthew 6:14-15

That hits deep. I can’t live in grace and deny it to others.

God, it humbles me. Who am I to hold someone’s sin against them when You have washed away my own?

Prayer #4: A Prayer for Humility and Grace


Lord Jesus,


You forgave me before I ever said sorry. You saw my mess, my rebellion, my brokenness — and You loved me still. Teach me to love like that.


Help me to forgive even if the apology never comes.
Help me to bless even when I feel cursed.


Help me to extend grace, the way You flood it over me every day.
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8


Let that be the standard of my love.


Amen.

I don’t want a heart hardened by past hurts. I want a soft heart — one that reflects Jesus. I want my healing to glorify Him. And maybe part of that healing is praying for the one who caused the pain.

It doesn’t make what happened right. But it makes me free.

And when I pray for them… something inside me softens. It’s like heaven breathes on a wound I thought would never stop bleeding.

Prayer #5: A Blessing Over Those Who Hurt Me


Father God,

I bless those who have hurt me. I choose to see them as You do — not through bitterness, but through Your mercy.

I pray they would know Your love, Your grace, and Your truth. I ask that You do a mighty work in their lives, and in mine.

I bless them to become all You’ve created them to be. Let Your kindness lead them to repentance, and let Your peace reign in their hearts.

And if it is Your will, bring reconciliation. But even if that never comes, I still choose love.
“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” – Matthew 5:44

Give me a heart like Yours.


In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Tonight, I breathe a little easier. Not because everything is fixed. But because I’m starting to let go.

I see now that forgiveness is not a one-time choice. It’s a daily surrender. A daily cross. A daily decision to trust God more than my feelings.

And so, I will keep choosing it. Again and again.

I’ll keep placing those people — and my pain — at the throne of grace.

Because I want to be free.
Because I want to love like Jesus.
Because I belong to Him.

And if He can forgive me, then by His power, I can forgive too.

Scriptures to Meditate On Tonight:

  • “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” – Psalm 51:10
  • “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” – Matthew 5:7
  • “Bear with each other and forgive one another… Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” – Colossians 3:13

Jesus, thank You for whispering mercy to my soul tonight. Thank You for Your patience, Your love, and the cross.

Let my life echo Your forgiveness.

With all my heart,
CTN (Christian Tech Nerd)

Loving the Unlovable (Help Me God)

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

Dear Lord,

Some days I wonder why You allow certain people in my life — the ones who seem to make my spirit cringe, who mock what is sacred to me, or who just constantly seem… difficult. The ones I might never say it about out loud, but who I sometimes label in my heart as unlovable.

Tonight, I’m asking myself a question I’ve been avoiding:
If I refuse to love the unlovable… do I really love You?

That’s a hard thing to admit. But Your Word is direct, and You don’t allow me to sit comfortably in my “good intentions.” You ask for my whole heart — including the way I treat the people who test it the most.

Your Word in 1 John 4:20-21 pierced me again tonight:

“If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.”

God, I say I love You — and I mean it. I really do. My whole life is Yours. But if I’m being honest, there are people I’ve emotionally written off. I avoid them, criticize them in my mind, get irritated every time I see them or hear their voice. They don’t know You, and some even mock You openly — and it makes me feel awkward, angry, or even afraid.

But You didn’t give me permission to retreat from them.

You didn’t call me to love only when it’s easy.
You didn’t say, “Love your neighbor unless they disagree with you.”
You didn’t say, “Be kind only to those who understand you.”

You said:

“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” – Matthew 5:44

You said:

“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” – Luke 6:36

You commanded me to love — not because they deserve it, but because You loved me first, undeservedly.

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8

So Lord, how can I withhold love from someone else when You never withheld it from me?

I think what scares me is how much I still let my emotions lead. When someone offends me or behaves in a way that feels “godless,” I immediately feel this wall go up. I want to protect myself. I want to distance myself. But maybe You allow these people into my life not to torment me — but to transform me.

God, shape my heart into Yours.

Let me not be quick to take offense, but quick to offer grace.
Let me not retreat into silence, but speak with patience and wisdom.
Let me not feel superior, but humbled that I even know You at all.

Because the truth is, the only difference between me and someone who irritates or mocks or rejects You… is grace. That’s it. I didn’t earn it. I didn’t achieve salvation. I was rescued. And I want others to be rescued, too — even those who right now feel impossible to love.

Soften my heart, Lord.

Help me remember that people are not projects or problems — they are souls. Souls You formed. Souls You long to save. Even the rude ones. Even the loud ones. Even the dismissive, arrogant, or sarcastic ones.

“The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise… He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” – 2 Peter 3:9

If You are patient, how can I not be?

Lord, here is my prayer tonight:

Father,
Help me to love those who test me.
Help me to see them through Your eyes.
Not as obstacles in my day, but opportunities for grace.
Let my irritation become intercession.
Let my distance become compassion.
Let my judgments be replaced with prayers.

I surrender the “right” to be offended.
I surrender the tendency to retreat.
I surrender my pride that tells me I’m better.
I just want to love like Jesus.

Let my heart be soft but strong.
Let my words be gentle but rooted in truth.
Let me reflect You, not just when it’s easy — but especially when it’s not.
Amen.

Lord, loving the unlovable might be one of the greatest tests of true discipleship. You said people would know we are Yours not by how much we know, or how well we argue, or how holy we look — but by how we love.

“By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” – John 13:35

I want to be Your disciple. I want my life to bear the fruit of Your Spirit, not just when I’m alone with You, but in the tension of real relationships — in the messy, uncomfortable, unpredictable places.

Because honestly, that’s where Your love shines brightest — in the places where mine falls short.

I may never feel a natural affection for some people. That’s okay. You’re not asking for fake smiles or surface-level niceness. You’re asking for sacrificial love — a choice. An obedience. A heart posture that says, “I will love them because You love me. I will love them because You love them.”

It’s humbling, but I think that’s the point. The more I die to myself in these small, daily acts of love, the more I reflect the image of Christ.

So tomorrow, Lord, help me take one step closer to that kind of love.

Help me:

  • Speak kindly when I want to be silent.
  • Stay present when I want to walk away.
  • Pray instead of grumble.
  • Offer grace instead of sarcasm.
  • Remember that loving the unlovable is not weakness — it’s warfare.

Holy Spirit, fill me. I cannot do this on my own. I will burn out quickly without Your help. But with You, I can become more than just a “nice person” — I can become a light in darkness, a living testimony of Your mercy, and a vessel of Your love.

And maybe… just maybe… my love, flawed and growing as it is, might point someone toward You.

Let that be my legacy.
Not perfection.
Not popularity.
Just love.
Love rooted in You.