Tag: walking with Jesus

Christian Kindness: How to Lift Someone’s Spirit

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

Today I felt God tugging at my heart, whispering, “Daughter, pay attention. I’m teaching you something.” Sometimes I feel like I’m stumbling around trying to understand what it really means to walk out this faith that I love—this faith that feels like the most important truth in my life. But today, I was reminded again of the brokenness all around me and the small, powerful ways God invites us to make a difference.

Not long ago, I found myself confronted again by the pain and heartache in the world. It’s not that I’d forgotten; it’s just that sometimes the world throws it right in your face. Some weeks it seems like the struggle behind people’s smiles is more visible than usual. I can almost read the heartache tucked between their words or hear the tremble in someone’s voice long before the tears come. And in those moments, I feel this ache—frustration at my own helplessness, compassion for what others are going through, and this deep yearning to somehow be light in the middle of someone’s darkness.

Family members struggling.
Loved ones hurting.
Friends grieving.

Strained and broken relationships.
Physical and emotional pain.
Financial hardships that keep people awake at night.

Everyone has something. And while our struggles differ, pain doesn’t have a ranking system with God. Everything we carry matters to Him. I know this, but sometimes I wonder if other people know it too—if they realize how deeply seen they are by Him. Maybe that’s part of why my heart gets so stirred up. I want people to feel loved. I want them to feel cared for. I want them to somehow catch a glimpse of God’s compassion through the small things I do. But honestly… sometimes I’m so drained myself that I don’t know what difference I can even make.

Still, God keeps reminding me that sometimes the only thing we can do for someone is to simply be there. To sit with them in the silence. To listen without rushing to fix. To offer compassion even when we don’t fully understand.

But what else can I do? What else should I do?

I’ve been sitting with this question all week: How can I make a difference in someone else’s day? Not in giant, world-saving ways—but in small, faithful, meaningful ones. And maybe—just maybe—those little moments matter more than we realize.

So today I tried to unpack that question, and these three things kept coming to mind.

1) Smile

It feels silly writing it out, but I can’t help thinking about how powerful a simple smile can be. I wonder how often one person’s smile ends up being the best thing someone else sees all day. Something so small, but big in impact. So easy… yet so easy to forget.

Sometimes when I’m rushing, or stressed, or lost in my own world, I forget to look up. I forget to be present. I forget that my face might be the one reminder someone needs that there’s still kindness in the world.

I caught myself today at the grocery store, checking out with that little automatic frown I wear when I’m tired. Then the Holy Spirit nudged me. I raised my eyes and smiled at the cashier. She looked startled for a second—then she smiled back. And maybe it meant nothing. Or maybe, just maybe, she needed someone to look at her like she mattered.

Lord, teach me to choose joy even when my heart feels heavy. Help me remember that my countenance can carry Your light. “The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10).
Let my smile be strength for someone else.

2) Reach Out

This one is harder for me, if I’m honest. When someone is on my heart, I often intend to reach out… later. I’ll text them later. I’ll check in later. I’ll send that email later. And then? I forget. Not because I don’t care—God knows I care—but because I get distracted, or tired, or overwhelmed.

But I can’t help thinking about all the times I have received a message right when I needed it. Those moments when a friend says, “You were on my mind today,” and suddenly the whole world feels a little less dark. How many times have I whispered, “Lord, I needed that”?

I want to be that for others. I want to act when God nudges my heart.

Today as I was driving, someone came to mind, someone I hadn’t talked to in months. And I felt that familiar inner pull. So I reached out—just a simple message, nothing fancy. She replied within minutes, telling me she’d been having a really hard week and had prayed for encouragement just this morning.

Moments like that remind me: God uses us. Our words matter.

Lord, help me be obedient when You place someone on my heart. Let me not be so distracted that I miss the chance to love someone well. “Encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
Let me be a builder, not a bystander.

3) Pray

Prayer changes things. I know this. I believe this deeply. But sometimes praying feels like pouring water into dry soil that never seems to soften. Sometimes I pray and pray and pray… and nothing seems to shift. And I’ll be honest—those are the moments that frustrate me. Those are the moments I wonder if anything I’m doing is even helping.

But then God reminds me: Prayer isn’t just about outcomes. It’s about connection. It’s about surrender. It’s about trusting that when I bring someone’s name before God, He hears me. And not only does He work in their life—He works in mine too.

I think of the verse: “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16). I don’t always feel righteous, or powerful, or effective. But God never asked for perfection—just faithfulness. Just willingness.

So today, I prayed. I prayed for the hurting people around me. For healing. For peace. For restoration. For God’s comfort to meet them like warm sunlight after a long night. And maybe I’ll never know what those prayers accomplished—but God knows. And that’s enough.

Lord, teach me to pray boldly, faithfully, and consistently. Let my prayers be a lifeline for those who feel like they’re drowning. Let me trust in Your unseen work.

Tonight, as I write all this down, I keep thinking about the fruit of the Spirit:
“Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22–23)

This is who I want to be. This is the woman I want to grow into. Compassionate. Joyful. Kind. Soft-hearted but strong in faith. Isn’t that the kind of person who makes a difference in the world?

Sometimes I worry that my small offerings don’t matter. But maybe making a difference doesn’t always look like changing someone’s life—it might simply be changing their day. Giving them a moment of hope. A breath of peace. A reminder that they aren’t invisible and they aren’t alone.

And maybe that’s enough.

A Prayer for Today

Dear Lord,
Thank You for opening my eyes to the hidden burdens people carry. Thank You for stirring compassion in my heart even on the days when I feel tired and discouraged myself. Help me make a difference in someone’s day, even in ways that seem small to me. Teach me to smile with Your joy, reach out with Your prompting, and pray with Your strength.

Make my heart tender, my ears open, and my spirit willing. Let Your love flow through me, not because I’m strong, but because You are. Help me shine Your light in a world that feels so heavy with sorrow.
Amen.

So how can I make a difference in someone’s day?
By smiling.
By reaching out.
By praying.

Simple things. Small things. But maybe holy things too.

And tomorrow… I want to try again.

Yesterday, Today, Forever: Jesus NEVER Changes

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

I took a long walk earlier this morning—down by the little trail near the old bridge—and I found myself whispering one scripture over and over, like oxygen for my soul: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8). It’s funny how a verse I’ve known since childhood can suddenly feel brand new when my heart is tired or overwhelmed.

The world feels so volatile at times—like sand shifting under my feet. People change, circumstances change, plans change, my own emotions change. And sometimes I catch myself wishing life could slow down just long enough for me to breathe deeply. But today, while walking in the crisp morning air, I heard that familiar whisper of the Holy Spirit reminding me: Jesus never changes. No matter how chaotic everything feels, He remains the same steady, loving, faithful Savior.

I let that truth settle in my spirit like warm sunlight.

The Power of His Name Never Changes
I kept thinking about the first part of Hebrews 13:8—“Jesus Christ is the same…”—as if the sentence couldn’t even wait to introduce “yesterday, today, and forever.” The emphasis is on His identity first. Jesus Christ is the same. His very name carries power, and that power has not diluted over time. I think sometimes I forget just how much strength, authority, and gentleness is bound up in the name of Jesus.

When I first got saved, I remember how speaking His name felt like crossing from darkness into light. I was so tangled up in superstition, fear, and some practices I didn’t even fully understand at the time—things I now recognize as occult or spiritually dangerous. But when I gave my life to Jesus, all of those chains broke. It wasn’t because I suddenly became wise or brave—it was because His name carried a power that darkness couldn’t withstand. I didn’t fully understand it then, but looking back now, I see how strong and steady His hand was, even when I was stumbling my way into grace.

YESTERDAY

I love how the Lord doesn’t erase our past; He redeems it. Isaiah 54:4 has always touched me deeply: “You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.” Sometimes I read that verse and feel like God is wiping tears off my face with His own gentle hands.

My “yesterday” held mistakes, insecurities, and so much confusion about who I was. I carried shame that wasn’t even mine to carry. And I carried guilt over things God had already forgiven long before I forgave myself.

But today I’m reminded that Jesus stands in my yesterday, rewriting every chapter with mercy. He turned my fear into confidence, my doubt into trust, and my shame into a testimony of His goodness. Remembering what He did for me isn’t painful anymore—it’s a reminder of His unchanging love. Every time I think about the spiritual darkness I once dabbled in, I feel nothing but gratitude. He delivered me completely, and the power of His name is still as mighty today as it was the day He broke those chains off my life.

TODAY
As I write this, I’m sitting by my small bedroom window, watching the sunset paint gold across the sky. Today had its challenges—little stresses at work, a few anxious thoughts about my future, and some personal prayers that still feel unanswered. But even in those uncertainties, I sense His presence.

Someone once said, “The day of miracles is not past, because the God of miracles is still present.” That feels so true today. Jesus is not a distant memory or a historical figure preserved in ancient text. He is alive. He is with me. He listens to my prayers even when I’m too tired to articulate them well.

And even though my circumstances shift like unpredictable winds, Jesus does not move. He is the same today as He was when He healed the sick, calmed storms, forgave sinners, and called His friends by name. When I whisper “Jesus” in the middle of my anxiety, something changes inside me—not because I suddenly control my life, but because I remember Who is in control.

Sometimes I wish I could see the miracles He’s doing behind the scenes. But I’m learning to trust that just because I don’t see instant changes doesn’t mean He isn’t working. He is faithful today. He is present today. He is powerful today.

TOMORROW (FOREVER)
Thinking about tomorrow used to scare me. Not knowing where I’ll be in five years… not being sure how my future will unfold… wanting so badly to make the right choices and not disappoint God or myself. But today, pondering Hebrews 13:8, I felt this unexpected peace settle in me. If Jesus is the same forever, then my future is not a frightening unknown—it’s a place He already stands in, smiling, guiding, preparing, protecting.

He already knows the chapters I haven’t lived yet. He has already planned blessings I can’t imagine. And He has already forgiven mistakes I haven’t even made yet. What an overwhelming kind of love.

And thinking of children one day—the idea that their future is also secure in Him—makes my heart swell. Even though I’m not a mother yet, the reassurance that Jesus holds their tomorrows is deeply comforting. When the world seems unstable, I can already imagine myself speaking this truth over my future children: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He will never leave you.” What a gift to pass down.

A Prayer from My Heart

Lord Jesus,
Thank You for being unchanging in a world that changes too quickly for my heart to keep up sometimes. Thank You for being the same Savior who rescued me years ago, the same presence that comforts me today, and the same God who already stands in my future with hope and purpose prepared for me. I praise You for Your name—so full of power, healing, and mercy. Thank You for redeeming my past, guiding me in the present, and securing my forever. When fear tries to control me, remind me of Your constancy. When doubt whispers, let Your truth speak louder. Jesus, I trust You with every yesterday, every today, and every tomorrow. Amen.

Closing Thoughts Tonight


As I end this post, I feel lighter than I did this morning. The world may still change at its dizzying pace, but I don’t feel left behind anymore. I feel held—gently, securely—by the One who has never changed and never will.

Maybe that’s what faith really is: not pretending that nothing changes, but remembering that He doesn’t.

And that is enough for me tonight.
Enough for today.
Enough for forever.

Thank You, Jesus.

Sacred Echo: Listening to Heaven’s Heartbeat

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

I went to bed last night asking God to show me more of His heart. I know I say I want to know Him more, but how often do I really press in for His sake, not just for what He can do for me?

This morning, while journaling, I wrote:


“God, I want to know You—not just know about You. I want to understand what breaks Your heart and what makes You smile.”

It hit me hard: I say I love Him, but how often do I actually seek to understand Him, not just myself through Him?

Most people walk around so desperate to be seen, known, and loved. I get it. I’ve been there. I still have those days. But then I remember—this ache to be known is actually something we inherited from God Himself.

Genesis 1:27 reminds me, “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

If I bear His image, then it makes sense that the ache in me to be known is actually a glimpse into how God longs to be known.
I’m created with that desire because He has it first.

Sometimes I look around at Christians and ponder… how are we so satisfied with just Sunday morning services, small groups, and bumper-sticker theology?

We memorize verses like Isaiah 55:9—“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts”—and then use that as an excuse to not even try to know God’s heart.

But that’s lazy. And let’s be honest, it’s prideful. Because we want a god that fits in a sermon series or a devotional plan. But the real God? He’s infinite. And if we don’t dig deeper, we’ll stay infants in our faith, knowing about Him but never knowing Him.

I’ve been praying over Jeremiah 29:13 lately.
“You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart.”

It doesn’t say, “when you scroll Christian TikTok for an hour” or “when you listen to worship music passively.” It says, “with all your heart.”

ALL. Not a part. Not when it’s convenient.
That one verse alone has been wrecking me.

So today I turned off my phone. Sat with my Bible. Prayed in honesty. Not performance. Not pretty words. Just raw. Just real. Just me.

I told God, “I want to know Your heart. I want to know what makes You weep and what makes You rejoice. I want to love what You love and hate what You hate—even when it costs me popularity, even when it separates me from shallow Christianity.”

And He met me. Not in thunder or lightning. Just in quiet. In peace.

I read about Jesus weeping at Lazarus’ tomb—not because He was powerless, but because He feels deeply. He didn’t rush past the pain. He sat in it. That’s the heart of God.

I read about the woman at the well. About Peter’s restoration. About God’s justice in the prophets. About His mercy in the Psalms.

And slowly, I started to feel like I wasn’t just reading about God—I was sitting with Him. Like a friend. Like someone worth knowing deeply.

If we want to know God’s heart, we have to move past religion and step into relationship.

Yes, God is holy. Yes, His thoughts are higher. But He’s also Emmanuel. God with us. He stepped down to make Himself knowable. Jesus came not just to save us, but to show us what the Father is like.

John 14:9—“Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father.”

So if I want to know the heart of God, I need to look at Jesus. His compassion. His fire. His correction. His mercy. His truth.

And if I’m not willing to carry all of that—not just the feel-good parts—then do I really want to know Him? Or do I just want a version of Him that fits my comfort?

Tonight, I’m ending with a prayer:

Father, reveal Your heart to me. Not the filtered version. Not the Instagram caption version. I want the real You. The One who weeps over sin, who rejoices in truth, who loves with fire in His eyes and scars in His hands. Teach me to walk with You, not ahead or behind, but right beside You. I don’t just want Your blessings. I want Your heart. I want to be a woman who makes Heaven smile. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Footprints of Faith: Following Jesus Every Day

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

Lord,

Today I feel like I’m standing still in the middle of a world sprinting in every direction. The noise, the expectations, the pull of my own thoughts—it’s exhausting. But You whispered something to my heart today. Something that anchored me:

“This journey of life was never meant to be traveled alone.”

You didn’t just save me to send me off. You saved me to walk with me.

Sometimes I forget that, Jesus. I know it in my head, but I don’t always live like I know it in my heart. Life gets loud, people get messy, and the days run together like spilled paint. But Your Word reminds me:

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way.” – Psalm 37:23

You delight in my way. You don’t just tolerate my existence or sigh every time I mess up. You actually delight in walking beside me. That floors me.

Why do I so easily forget that You’re right here?

I was reading this morning in Isaiah, and this verse stood out like a flare:

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.” – Isaiah 43:2

You never promised I’d avoid the waters—you just promised I wouldn’t drown. And honestly, lately, it’s felt like I’ve been wading through an ocean of unknowns. But You’re still here, walking beside me, even when I can’t see through the waves.

Jesus, the more I walk with You, the more I realize how much I need to walk in awe of You. Not just in obedience. Not just in routine. But in absolute reverence. The kind of reverence that makes me put my phone down, step away from distractions, and just be with You.

I know the world doesn’t celebrate walking slowly, intentionally, or sacredly. But I do. Or at least I want to.

This walk with You—it’s not always easy. You confront me. You lovingly correct me. You expose the parts of my heart I want to hide. But You do it with such gentleness, like a surgeon with healing hands.

You never humiliate me. You heal me.

And I’m starting to see how walking with You is the only path that actually changes me. Not religion. Not rules. Not even good works. Just You. Just Jesus.

“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?” – Micah 6:8

I’m learning that “walking humbly” doesn’t mean shrinking back. It means staying close to You, knowing full well You’re the one holding my hand.

Jesus, can I be honest?

Sometimes I still want control. I still want to call the shots, make the decisions, and map out my future like I’m the creator of time itself. But I’m not. You are. And You’ve never once led me wrong.

It’s hard to surrender. It’s hard to let go. But I’m slowly realizing that walking with You means letting You lead—even when it doesn’t make sense.

You taught me this during my last job when everything crumbled. I was sure that position was my “calling.” But now, looking back, I see it was just a classroom. You were teaching me how to trust You when my identity isn’t propped up by titles.

Thank You for stripping that from me.

Yeah, I said it. I’m thankful for the stripping. Because it forced me to walk more closely with You.

This journey with You is less about where I go and more about who I become. And every step with You is shaping my character—refining me, stretching me, and anchoring me in something real.

So today, I’m asking You for more.

Not more stuff. Not more followers. Not more clarity.

But more of You.

Give me a deeper hunger for Your Word. Let it be the first place I run, not the last.

Give me a holy craving for Your presence—stronger than my desire for approval, comfort, or success.

And give me the boldness to confront the lies in myself and in others. Not to be self-righteous, but to be righteous. There’s a difference.

People need truth, Jesus. Real truth. Not watered-down, “cute” Christianity that doesn’t offend anyone. You didn’t die a brutal death just to make us comfortable.

You died to make us new.

So if I’m really walking with You, my life better start reflecting that.

God, help me not to just talk about You, but to actually walk with You.

Help me be the kind of woman who prays more than she posts.

The kind of woman who forgives quickly and loves fiercely.

The kind of woman who isn’t afraid to confront sin—in love—and call people into truth, not out of shame, but out of deep compassion.

And if anyone reading this (even if it’s just me re-reading it later) doesn’t know You yet, then let me just say this:

You can start walking with Jesus today.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t need to clean yourself up first. You don’t need to have some spiritual resume or emotional perfection.

Just pray. Be real. Be honest. Jesus is listening.

Here’s the prayer that changed everything for me:

“Jesus, I believe You are who You say You are. I believe You are the Son of God, that You died for my sins and rose again. I surrender my life to You. I don’t want to walk alone anymore. I give You my past, my present, and my future. Come into my life and lead me every step of the way. Amen.”

That’s it. That’s the first step. And once you take it, He will walk with you.

He won’t promise the path will always be easy, but He will promise that you’ll never walk it alone.

So here I am, Jesus. Again. Choosing to walk with You—step by step, even when I can’t see the full path.

Thank You for never leaving my side. Thank You for being patient when I wander, and strong when I’m weak.

And thank You for growing me. Even when it hurts.

“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” – James 4:8

Today, I draw near.
Today, I walk with You.
Today, I choose the narrow road—because You’re on it.

And I’ll keep walking with You until I finally see You face to face.

Loving the Unlovable (Help Me God)

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

Dear Lord,

Some days I wonder why You allow certain people in my life — the ones who seem to make my spirit cringe, who mock what is sacred to me, or who just constantly seem… difficult. The ones I might never say it about out loud, but who I sometimes label in my heart as unlovable.

Tonight, I’m asking myself a question I’ve been avoiding:
If I refuse to love the unlovable… do I really love You?

That’s a hard thing to admit. But Your Word is direct, and You don’t allow me to sit comfortably in my “good intentions.” You ask for my whole heart — including the way I treat the people who test it the most.

Your Word in 1 John 4:20-21 pierced me again tonight:

“If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.”

God, I say I love You — and I mean it. I really do. My whole life is Yours. But if I’m being honest, there are people I’ve emotionally written off. I avoid them, criticize them in my mind, get irritated every time I see them or hear their voice. They don’t know You, and some even mock You openly — and it makes me feel awkward, angry, or even afraid.

But You didn’t give me permission to retreat from them.

You didn’t call me to love only when it’s easy.
You didn’t say, “Love your neighbor unless they disagree with you.”
You didn’t say, “Be kind only to those who understand you.”

You said:

“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” – Matthew 5:44

You said:

“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” – Luke 6:36

You commanded me to love — not because they deserve it, but because You loved me first, undeservedly.

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8

So Lord, how can I withhold love from someone else when You never withheld it from me?

I think what scares me is how much I still let my emotions lead. When someone offends me or behaves in a way that feels “godless,” I immediately feel this wall go up. I want to protect myself. I want to distance myself. But maybe You allow these people into my life not to torment me — but to transform me.

God, shape my heart into Yours.

Let me not be quick to take offense, but quick to offer grace.
Let me not retreat into silence, but speak with patience and wisdom.
Let me not feel superior, but humbled that I even know You at all.

Because the truth is, the only difference between me and someone who irritates or mocks or rejects You… is grace. That’s it. I didn’t earn it. I didn’t achieve salvation. I was rescued. And I want others to be rescued, too — even those who right now feel impossible to love.

Soften my heart, Lord.

Help me remember that people are not projects or problems — they are souls. Souls You formed. Souls You long to save. Even the rude ones. Even the loud ones. Even the dismissive, arrogant, or sarcastic ones.

“The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise… He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” – 2 Peter 3:9

If You are patient, how can I not be?

Lord, here is my prayer tonight:

Father,
Help me to love those who test me.
Help me to see them through Your eyes.
Not as obstacles in my day, but opportunities for grace.
Let my irritation become intercession.
Let my distance become compassion.
Let my judgments be replaced with prayers.

I surrender the “right” to be offended.
I surrender the tendency to retreat.
I surrender my pride that tells me I’m better.
I just want to love like Jesus.

Let my heart be soft but strong.
Let my words be gentle but rooted in truth.
Let me reflect You, not just when it’s easy — but especially when it’s not.
Amen.

Lord, loving the unlovable might be one of the greatest tests of true discipleship. You said people would know we are Yours not by how much we know, or how well we argue, or how holy we look — but by how we love.

“By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” – John 13:35

I want to be Your disciple. I want my life to bear the fruit of Your Spirit, not just when I’m alone with You, but in the tension of real relationships — in the messy, uncomfortable, unpredictable places.

Because honestly, that’s where Your love shines brightest — in the places where mine falls short.

I may never feel a natural affection for some people. That’s okay. You’re not asking for fake smiles or surface-level niceness. You’re asking for sacrificial love — a choice. An obedience. A heart posture that says, “I will love them because You love me. I will love them because You love them.”

It’s humbling, but I think that’s the point. The more I die to myself in these small, daily acts of love, the more I reflect the image of Christ.

So tomorrow, Lord, help me take one step closer to that kind of love.

Help me:

  • Speak kindly when I want to be silent.
  • Stay present when I want to walk away.
  • Pray instead of grumble.
  • Offer grace instead of sarcasm.
  • Remember that loving the unlovable is not weakness — it’s warfare.

Holy Spirit, fill me. I cannot do this on my own. I will burn out quickly without Your help. But with You, I can become more than just a “nice person” — I can become a light in darkness, a living testimony of Your mercy, and a vessel of Your love.

And maybe… just maybe… my love, flawed and growing as it is, might point someone toward You.

Let that be my legacy.
Not perfection.
Not popularity.
Just love.
Love rooted in You.

Is “Forgiveness” The Hardest Gift For Christians?

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

Over the past few months, forgiveness has been on my heart in a way that’s hard to explain. It’s like the Holy Spirit is gently pressing on that sore place I thought I had numbed with time. But maybe God doesn’t want time to heal this one. Maybe He wants truth and grace and surrender to do the healing.

Forgiveness—what a strange, holy word. It’s supposed to be freeing, right? But why does it feel like a prison sometimes? Why does giving forgiveness feel harder than asking for it?

I read 1 John 1:9 again today: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

That verse always humbles me. It reminds me that I’m no better than anyone I’m struggling to forgive. I’ve sinned too. I’ve broken promises, spoken in anger, judged others, been selfish. And yet, every single time I come back to Him—even when I crawl back all broken and ashamed—God forgives me. Not just partially. He forgives completely. He doesn’t say, “I forgive you but I won’t forget.” He says, “I will remember their sins no more” (Hebrews 8:12).

So if God, the only perfect One, can forgive me… who am I to withhold forgiveness from someone else?

But, oh, Lord… it’s still so hard.

I’ve always thought that justice felt fair, and it does in a worldly sense. It’s like my flesh wants people to pay for the hurt they’ve caused. But then, what about mercy? Mercy is not getting what we do deserve. And then there’s grace, which absolutely undoes me—grace is getting what we don’t deserve. And that’s what God gives every day.

I heard something this past Sunday that keeps ringing in my ears: “Grace is scandalous. It offends the part of us that wants everyone to earn their way. But Jesus paid so we don’t have to.” I want to live that way. I want to give people that kind of grace. But in moments when the wound is still raw, forgiveness doesn’t feel like a gift—it feels like a death. Like I’m laying down my right to be angry. And sometimes, I don’t want to let that go.

I was reading Matthew 6:14-15 today: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Oof. That one always hits me in the gut.

We love to receive forgiveness, but giving it? That’s where the rubber meets the road. And yet, the Bible is so clear: it’s not optional. Forgiveness isn’t about saying what someone did was okay. It’s about letting God handle the justice part and freeing ourselves from bitterness. Because unforgiveness is a cage, and the longer we sit in it, the more it poisons us.

Lord, help me with this. I’m tired of holding on to things that You’ve told me to release.

Jesus, You forgave the very people who nailed You to the cross. You said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). If You could do that while bleeding, rejected, and mocked, how can I say that someone is unworthy of my forgiveness? Help me to forgive like You—fully, freely, even when it costs me something.

I think that’s the hardest part: forgiveness costs something. It costs pride. It costs comfort. It costs the illusion of control. And in return, we get peace—but not always instantly. Sometimes it’s a slow release. A decision we make over and over until our heart catches up.

Sometimes I wish God would make it easier. But maybe it’s not meant to be easy. Maybe forgiveness is supposed to stretch us until we look more like Jesus. Maybe it’s the sacred ground where healing begins.

Today, I remembered a time in college when someone I trusted deeply betrayed me. I thought I had let it go. I said the words. I prayed the prayers. But something in my heart still flinches when I think of them. I still want them to “get what’s coming.” But that’s not the way of the Kingdom, is it?

Romans 12:19 says: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

God is just. He sees. He knows. And He doesn’t need my help delivering justice.

Maybe that’s why forgiveness is so difficult. Because it requires trust. Trusting that God is who He says He is. That He won’t let evil go unanswered. That He truly works all things for good (Romans 8:28)—even betrayal, even heartbreak.

Father, I confess that sometimes I want to be judge, jury, and executioner. I want people to know how deeply they hurt me. But I surrender that desire to You. I lay down my right to be angry. I choose to forgive, not because they deserve it, but because You forgave me when I didn’t deserve it either.

I think about Peter asking Jesus how many times we have to forgive. “Up to seven times?” he asked. And Jesus replied, “Not seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:21-22). Not because people should keep hurting us—but because we’re called to live with hearts that are open and clean.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean there aren’t boundaries. It doesn’t mean we have to allow toxic people to stay in our lives unchecked. But it does mean we let go of the right to hate, to resent, to get even.

And that’s hard. Because bitterness can feel like power, can’t it? But in the end, it only weakens us. It robs us of joy. It distorts how we see God and people.

I want to be a woman who walks in freedom, not chained to old pain.

I want to be someone who can say, “Yes, it hurt—but God healed me, and I’ve released them into His hands.”

Lord, help me live that way.

You know what’s interesting? The more I meditate on what it cost You to forgive me, the easier it becomes to forgive others. I see the nails. I see the crown of thorns. I see the blood. I see the open arms. I see the empty grave.

And suddenly, that petty grudge doesn’t feel so worth holding onto.

I’m reminded of Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

That’s the standard. Not “forgive when it feels right.” Not “forgive if they apologize.” But forgive as Christ forgave us—freely, sacrificially, completely.

That’s the Gospel.

I’m so grateful that God doesn’t love me with conditions. That His mercy is new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). That He doesn’t define me by my worst moment.

So why should I define someone else by theirs?

Jesus, help me remember that You didn’t just die for my sins, but for the sins of those who’ve hurt me too. You love them just as much. And maybe, just maybe, my forgiveness could be the beginning of their healing too.

If I really believe in the power of the cross, then I have to live like it means something. I can’t be half-grace, half-grudge.

Forgiveness is messy. But so was Calvary.

And if God can bring resurrection out of that, He can certainly bring healing to my heart too.

Lord, give me the strength to forgive again. And again. And again. Until it no longer hurts. Until I no longer flinch. Until Your peace becomes my default. May I never forget what You’ve done for me, and may I reflect that same mercy to the world around me.

Forgiveness may be the hardest gift to give, but it’s also the most Christlike thing I’ll ever do.

I want to be more like Him.

Cling to the Cross: How to Keep Yourself in God’s Love

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

For a while now, at least since Spring I’d honestly say, my heart has been heavy, but not with sorrow—more like reverence. A deep, weighty awareness of how fragile my love can be compared to Yours (God’s). I’ve been sitting with Jude 21 all week:

“Keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.” – Jude 21 (NIV)

That verse doesn’t let me off the hook. It commands me. It tells me that remaining in Your love isn’t automatic—it’s intentional. And that convicts me.

Because, God… how many times have I allowed distractions, fears, or even just apathy to distance me from You? How many times have I let my emotions steer me away from Your presence instead of clinging to the cross like it’s my lifeline—which it is?

I sat in my car earlier after running errands, and I just started crying. Not out of sadness, really, but out of this mix of longing and guilt. I want to stay in Your love, but some days I don’t even know what that really looks like. And yet—Your voice, gentle and steady, reminded me: Cling to the cross.

Not just in the hard moments. Not just on Sundays. But every single day.

When I woke up this morning, I prayed out of routine. But by the time I got to mid-afternoon, I had already snapped at someone, scrolled mindlessly through my phone, and barely acknowledged You in the middle of my thoughts. And then tonight, You bring me back again—to Your Word, to Your presence, to Your mercy. You always bring me back.

“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine.” – John 15:4 (NIV)

You are the Vine. The source of love, strength, and truth. I’m just a branch. I dry out so quickly when I’m not connected to You. I think that’s why Jude tells us to keep ourselves in Your love. Because the world pulls hard. Our flesh pulls even harder. And the only way to stay in Your love is to choose it daily—to choose You daily.

Jesus, I don’t want to just visit Your love when life falls apart. I want to live there. Dwell there. Make it the home my heart always returns to. I want to cling to the cross—not out of desperation, but out of love and dependence.

I thought about what clinging to the cross really means, and I think it starts with remembering. Remembering what You did for me. Not just in a distant, “Sunday-school” way, but really reflecting on it. You gave everything. You suffered shame, pain, rejection—all for me. You didn’t hold back. How could I?

Lord, help me not to treat Your sacrifice like a safety net I only fall into. Help me treat it like the center of my life—the reason I do what I do, the lens I see everything through. When I’m tempted to wander, bring me back to Calvary. When I doubt, show me Your hands. When I feel unworthy, let me hear Your voice again: It is finished.

I guess what I’m realizing is that clinging to the cross looks a lot like choosing You in the smallest moments. Like…

  • Opening my Bible instead of opening a complaining text.
  • Choosing prayer over worry.
  • Forgiving when I want to sulk.
  • Turning off the noise and just sitting in silence with You.

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.” – Hebrews 10:23 (ESV)

You are so faithful, Lord. Even when I’m not. Even when I wander. Even when I forget. And that faithfulness pulls me back into Your love every single time. It’s not a love I earned—it’s a love You gave. Freely.

Tonight, I wrote this simple prayer in my journal and I want to pray it out loud now:

Father God,

Thank You for the cross. Thank You that Your love was poured out in blood, not just in words. Remind me daily that Your love is not distant—it’s present. It’s active. It’s sacrificial.

Lord, help me to keep myself in that love. Teach me how to cling tightly when the world distracts and the enemy lies. Strengthen my heart to obey, to abide, and to remember that no matter what’s happening around me, Your love is constant.

When I feel cold or distant, draw me near again. Let my soul be tethered to Your cross—never wandering too far, never forgetting the cost of grace.

In Jesus’ holy name,
Amen.

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You know, I used to think “keeping myself in God’s love” meant being perfect. Like, if I read my Bible enough, prayed long enough, behaved good enough—then I’d stay in it. But now I know: Your love isn’t something I have to perform for. But keeping myself in it? That’s about protecting the space You’ve made for me. It’s about fighting to remain in the awareness of Your grace—fighting to stay in the shelter of it when my emotions say otherwise.

I’m reminded of Psalm 91:

“He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” – Psalm 91:4 (NIV)

Your love is my refuge. My safe place. My covering. And I don’t want to step out from under that. I want to stay close—no matter how grown-up or independent I feel. Because truthfully? I’m nothing without You. I don’t want to be anything without You.

Tomorrow, I’ll wake up and whisper again, “Cling to the cross.” When my thoughts scatter, when my heart grows tired, when the enemy tries to accuse—I’ll choose the cross. I’ll choose the love that never gives up on me. The love that bleeds and redeems and resurrects.

I don’t always know what lies ahead, Lord. But I know what holds me now: Your love. And I’m keeping myself in it by clinging tightly to You.

When God Whispers: Finding Faith in the Silence

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

Today has been quiet. Not the kind of quiet that brings peace, necessarily — more like the kind of quiet that feels like You’re hiding. I don’t want to admit it, but I’ve felt distant from You lately, like I’m calling out into a canyon and all I hear is my own voice echoing back. It scares me.

I keep thinking of Elijah in 1 Kings 19. After the fire, after the earthquake, after the wind… there You were — not in the chaos, but in the still small voice. A whisper.

“And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper.”
— 1 Kings 19:12 (ESV)

I wonder if I’m just too distracted to hear Your whisper.

This morning, I sat with my coffee and tried to read the Word like I usually do. But I’ll be honest — I didn’t get far. My mind kept wandering to everything I feel like I’m missing: direction, clarity, certainty. I want to know what You want from me — with my career, with my singleness, with this sense of waiting I can’t shake.

I know faith isn’t about feelings. I know that. I’ve told myself that a hundred times. But I miss feeling You near.

So I prayed:
“God, if You’re here — please, help me to hear You. Even in the silence. Especially in the silence.”

And right then, I felt a strange peace settle over me. Not loud. Not even warm, really. But steady. Like a whisper I couldn’t quite catch, but I knew was meant for me.

Maybe that’s what faith looks like sometimes — trusting that You’re present even when You don’t speak loud.

I remembered Psalm 46:10:

“Be still, and know that I am God.”

Being still is harder than it sounds. My brain constantly wants answers. Movement. Resolution. But You invite me into stillness. Not just quiet around me, but quiet in me. A heart that isn’t frantic for answers but anchored in You.

Faith, I think, is most real when it has to lean on who You are, not what I can hear or feel.

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”
— Hebrews 11:1 (ESV)

I guess I’ve been measuring closeness with You by how “seen” or “heard” I feel. But maybe this is one of those seasons where You’re inviting me deeper — past the emotional highs, into the quiet trust.

Like a relationship that matures. Less fireworks, more foundation.

There’s something beautiful and hard about that.

I walked down to the lake near my apartment this evening. The water was still — not a breeze. Just birdsong and the hum of life going on. I sat on a bench and asked You again: “Are You here?” I didn’t hear a voice. No signs. But my eyes caught this tiny ripple on the surface of the lake — like something beneath moved, unseen, but there.

I don’t know why, but I thought: That’s You. Moving beneath the surface of my life. Quietly. Faithfully. Even when I can’t see it. Even when I forget to notice.

It reminded me of Isaiah 30:15:

“In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.”

That’s the kind of strength I want. Not the kind that performs or pretends to have it all figured out. But the quiet strength of a heart that trusts You are good — especially when I don’t have the map.

Jesus, I believe You are enough for me in the silence. I don’t need a booming voice or a perfect plan. I just need You. And You’ve promised You’ll never leave.

“And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
— Matthew 28:20 (ESV)

Tonight, I’ll go to bed still not knowing exactly what’s next. Still single. Still unsure about grad school. Still a little worn down. But I will lay my head down in peace — not because the silence is gone, but because You are in it.

You whisper, and that’s enough.

Let me learn to lean in. To trust even when You seem far. To believe that You’re close even when it feels quiet.

A Prayer Before I Sleep:

God,
Thank You for meeting me in the silence.
Even when I can’t feel You, You’re faithful.
Teach me to listen for Your whispers —
Not just in the quiet around me,
But in the stillness of my soul.
Grow my faith in the unseen.
Help me to rest in Your presence —
Not because I have all the answers,
But because I know You hold them.
I love You, even when I don’t understand.
I trust You, even when You whisper.
And I’m Yours, always.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.