Blame Ends Here: I’m done pointing fingers!

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I’ve been feeling convicted lately. Not guilty—convicted. There’s a difference. Guilt just sticks to your soul like mud, but conviction comes from the Holy Spirit and leads you toward cleansing. And right now, I need cleansing. Not just from the obvious sins, but from that sneaky one I’ve been nursing in silence: blame.

You know what I’ve realized, Lord? Blame is a comfort zone. It’s easier to say “She hurt me,” “He triggered me,” “They abandoned me,” than to say, “I chose this response.” Because choosing to be angry, bitter, cold, or petty means I have to face myself. And let’s be real—sometimes I’d rather point the finger outward than take a hard look in the mirror.

Galatians 5:22-23 keeps ringing in my ears:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control…”

SELF-CONTROL. Not other-control. Not blame-shifting. Not retaliation. Self. Control. The one fruit I pretend isn’t in the basket when I’m fired up.

Earlier this week I was frustrated with my boss—again. She made this snarky comment about my “slow pace” on a project that I literally prayed through and poured my heart into.

Then I heard that still, small voice: “You’re standing on the outside, but inside you’re stomping your feet.” Just like that kid in time-out, pretending to submit while rebellion boils underneath. That hit hard. I’m not called to passive-aggressiveness or silent rebellion. I’m called to radical, inconvenient obedience.

So here I am, laying it all down. No more blaming her. No more blaming my past, my wounds, my triggers. They’re real, yes. But they don’t get to define my reactions anymore. Only You do, Lord.

I’m reminded of Romans 14:12:
“So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.”

MYSELF. Not my coworkers. Not my parents. Me. And if I’m being honest, my account’s got some chapters I’d rather not read aloud. But You already know them.

You see my heart—and love me anyway. That’s what humbles me most. You see the fake apologies, the grudges disguised as boundaries, the sarcasm hiding my disappointment. And still, You invite me into grace.

Holy Spirit, search me. Please. Rip the roots of bitterness out before they become my identity. I don’t want to be “the girl who was hurt” anymore. I want to be “the woman who was healed and chose joy anyway.”

God, I want to live Galatians 5, not just quote it. I want my love to be genuine, my peace to be unshakable, my kindness to be reflexive, not forced. I don’t want to react like the world—I want to respond like You. Because You never played the blame game, even when You had every right to. Jesus, You were blameless, and yet You bore my blame. And what do I do with that sacrifice? I pick it up and throw it at others, using it as a weapon to justify my own hurt. Forgive me, Lord.

Here’s my prayer tonight:

Father, create in me a clean heart (Psalm 51:10), and renew a right spirit within me. Deliver me from the temptation to justify sin with someone else’s failures. You are the Judge, not me. You are the Redeemer, not me. Teach me to stop blaming and start forgiving. Soften my heart, even toward those who don’t apologize. And when I mess up, give me the humility to repent fully and quickly, not just partially. Holy Spirit, grow Your fruit in me. I surrender my responses, my emotions, my rights. I choose obedience, not offense. I choose peace. In Jesus’ name, amen.

I’m realizing that the blame game is the devil’s favorite playground. He doesn’t need us to sin loudly—he just needs us to keep a bitter scorecard while pretending we’re fine. I refuse to play his game. I’d rather play for the Kingdom.

The more I surrender to God, the more I see how much I’ve tried to manage my own vindication.

But Romans 12:19 says….

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

That’s hard. So hard. But necessary. Because when I hold on to blame, I’m essentially saying I don’t trust You, God. And that’s not the legacy I want.

I want to be known for releasing, not resenting. For healing, not harboring. For grace, not grudge.

So I’m putting down the gavel. I’m not the judge. I’m not the jury. I’m just a daughter of the King, learning to respond like royalty instead of reacting like a wounded orphan. I’m not perfect—but I’m being perfected. And that’s enough.

If anyone ever reads this entry one day (God help them!), I pray they feel the freedom that comes when you stop blaming and start confessing. It’s like unclenching a fist you didn’t realize was tight. Suddenly, peace can fill your palm.

Ending the blame game doesn’t mean you were never hurt—it means your healing matters more.

I’m done pointing fingers. I’m lifting hands.

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