thechristiantechnerd

Making Sense of God’s Eternality

Posted on June 4, 2025August 29, 2025 by thechristiantechnerd

I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it is that God already knows what I’m going to pray—even before I think the words. Like, He sees the prayers I don’t even speak out loud. The ones that just kind of hang in the quiet places of my heart. The messy, confused, tangled-up thoughts that never become words… He knows all of it. And even more than that, He knows what I could’ve said but didn’t.

I keep coming back to this verse:

“Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.” – Psalm 139:4 (NIV)

That just stuns me. God completely knows my words before I say them. Every hidden thought. Every half-formed sentence I never prayed because I didn’t feel bold enough or didn’t know how to say it right.

Prayer 1:

God, I’m so thankful You don’t require perfection in my prayers. You’re not waiting for polished speeches or eloquent phrases. You’re just waiting for me. Thank You for seeing me, even when I’m quiet.

Today, I caught myself in this weird in-between state—like I was on the edge of praying but didn’t know how. I was walking to work, headphones in, but my mind was somewhere else. I wasn’t even speaking out loud, but I was feeling this deep, unspoken longing. A mix of anxiety and hope, all twisted up. And I realized: that was a prayer. Maybe not in the traditional sense, but it was.

“And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.” – Romans 8:26 (NLT)

Prayer 2:

Holy Spirit, thank You for praying on my behalf when I don’t even know what to ask for. I’m learning that even my groans, my silence, my sighs—you translate all of that into something beautiful before the Father.

Isn’t that wild? That God understands our groanings—even our confusion, our aching, our wordless cries? I think I’ve always felt this pressure to come to Him with a full prayer “ready.” Like, prepared. But I’m realizing He’s already leaning in. Already listening.

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And here’s the part that hit me the hardest tonight: not only does God hear my prayers before I speak them, He also knows how they’ll be answered. Like—He’s already there. In the moment when I’m crying out, in the waiting, and even in the outcome. He’s already standing in the future I can’t see.

“I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come.” – Isaiah 46:10 (NIV)

That verse gives me so much peace. He sees the beginning and the end at once. He knows how I’ll respond when He says “yes,” or “not yet,” or even “no.” That’s so hard for me to process—because I barely know how I’ll feel tomorrow.

Prayer 3:

God, I trust that You are in all the places I haven’t reached yet. Help me surrender the need to control how I pray, what I ask, and how You’ll respond. I want to believe You’re writing a story that is better than my own plans.

I think about all the prayers I’ve never dared to pray—because I was afraid they’d go unanswered. Or worse, that I’d be disappointed. But the more I sit with this truth, the more I realize… He knows even those. The ones I bury, the ones I edit in my mind, the ones I rehearse and never say.

“Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.” – Matthew 6:8 (ESV)

That verse is so comforting, but also a little humbling. God doesn’t need the prayer to know my heart. Yet He invites me to pray. Not because He’s uninformed, but because He’s relational.

Prayer 4:

Father, thank You for knowing what I need before I do. I don’t want to come to You just for answers—I want to come because You are the answer. Teach me to enjoy Your presence, not just Your provision.

Tonight, I’m wrestling with a decision I haven’t said out loud yet. It’s about whether I should take that opportunity to move. I haven’t talked to anyone about it seriously. I haven’t even really prayed about it out loud. But God knows. I know He knows. He sees the restless questions in my chest. The fears, the hopes. And it’s comforting—no, it’s freeing—to realize I don’t have to say the perfect prayer for Him to act in love.

“Even before they call, I will answer; while they are still speaking, I will hear.” – Isaiah 65:24 (NIV)

That’s the God I love. He’s already answering while I’m still forming the thought. He’s not waiting for me to perform. He’s just waiting for me to turn toward Him—even slightly.

Prayer 5:

Jesus, You are closer than my breath. You answer even when I don’t know the right words. I give You my silence, my fears, my thoughts—because I trust You can do more with them than I ever could.

So… here I am. Writing this down. Not because I have it all figured out, but because I want to remember. I want to remember this quiet confidence that’s starting to bloom in me. The truth that You already know. You already hear. You already care.

Even when I don’t pray the prayer out loud—You’re still listening.
Even when I hold it back—You still see it.
Even when I don’t know what to ask—You still answer in love.

And that changes everything.

Parenthood, Not Gay Pride: Children Deserve a Mom and Dad

Posted on June 3, 2025September 25, 2025 by thechristiantechnerd

I’m so mad I can barely think straight. I don’t even want to write right now, but I feel like I have to. If I don’t pour this out to God, I might explode.

Everywhere I turn — social media, news, even some churches — they’re pushing this idea that any kind of family is okay. That love is love. That it doesn’t matter if a child has a mom and a dad, or two dads, or two moms, or who even knows what else. And I know I’m supposed to be kind and tolerant, but when I see God’s design being flipped upside down, it stirs something in me that I can’t ignore.

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I feel alone sometimes in what I believe. Like if I open my mouth and say what’s on my heart, I’ll be labeled a bigot or hateful. But I’m not hateful. I care. That’s why it makes me so angry — because kids are being robbed of something sacred. They need both a mother and a father. That’s how God made it.

“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” – Genesis 1:27 (NKJV)

I believe this down to my bones. God made man and woman on purpose. It wasn’t random. It was intentional. Masculinity and femininity reflect different aspects of God’s character. And a child raised by both a mom and a dad gets the chance to learn from both — to be nurtured and challenged, comforted and protected. That balance matters.

—

Lord, I’m angry right now. But underneath that anger is grief. I feel like the world is calling evil good and good evil. Please help me respond with both truth and grace. Give me boldness, but also wisdom. Don’t let my frustration become sin. Help me speak Your truth in love.

—

Today I saw a video of two men adopting a baby. The comments were full of applause — people calling them brave, calling it beautiful. I couldn’t help but feel sick to my stomach. Not because I hate them — I don’t. I actually feel sad for them. But also sad for the baby. That child will never know the warmth of a mother’s embrace. And we’re supposed to just smile and say “love is love”? I can’t.

“Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness…” – Isaiah 5:20

I want to scream. I want to ask people — don’t you see what’s happening? This isn’t just about opinions. This is about children’s lives. This is about foundational truths. This is about God’s order being traded in for chaos.

But when I speak up, I get told I’m judgmental. That Jesus would accept everyone. And yes, He did welcome everyone, but He also told them to go and sin no more. He never compromised truth just to keep the peace.

—

Jesus, help me love like You. You never backed down from truth, and You never stopped loving. That’s the kind of boldness I want — one rooted in Your Spirit. I don’t want to be self-righteous, but I also refuse to go silent. Give me courage to speak when it’s uncomfortable. Help me stand for children and for Your design, even if the world hates me for it.

—

I don’t hate gay people. I don’t wish them harm. But I’m tired of being forced to say that their version of family is equal to what God created. It’s not. I won’t pretend that it is. Not because I’m mean — but because I believe God’s way is best.

“Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife’?” – Matthew 19:4-5

Jesus said that. Not Paul, not Moses — Jesus. That’s all the confirmation I need. Marriage is between a man and a woman. And children deserve to grow up under that covenant, not some modern substitute.

—

God, I confess that I’ve been afraid to talk about this. I don’t want to lose friends. I don’t want to be mocked or misunderstood. But I also don’t want to betray You by going silent. Please give me strength. Let my convictions come from Your Word, not my emotions. And let my emotions be sanctified by truth.

—

I think part of my anger comes from fear, if I’m honest. I wonder what kind of world I’ll raise my future children in. Will they be taught that biology doesn’t matter? That two dads are the same as a mom and a dad? That feelings define reality?

It terrifies me. I don’t want my kids growing up in a world that erases God’s fingerprints from creation.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6

But how can we train children in the way of the Lord if we’re teaching them lies from the start? That their mother is optional? That their father is replaceable? God help us.

—

Father, protect the next generation. Raise up moms and dads who will fight for their families, who will model Your love, who won’t compromise. And for those children who grow up without both parents, bring healing. Be their Father. Be their hope. But let us never stop upholding Your design, even when culture tries to rewrite it.

—

I cried earlier. Just sat in my car and cried because I feel so heavy with this. I don’t want to be angry. I want to be hopeful. But I can’t pretend everything’s fine when it’s not.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” – John 10:10

That’s what keeps me going. Jesus came to restore what was broken. That includes families. That includes our culture. That includes me.

—

Jesus, bring revival. Let truth rise up again in this land. Let churches stop watering down Your Word just to avoid controversy. Let us not be ashamed of the gospel — not in our homes, not in public, not anywhere. Help me love fiercely, but also stand firmly. You are truth, and I won’t trade You for comfort.

—

I’m still angry. But I think now I’m also a little more grounded. I needed this time with God. I needed to write this all down — the fire, the fear, the frustration. I may be 24, but I feel like I’ve lived a lifetime already trying to make sense of a world that doesn’t want truth.

But I still believe. I still trust His plan. And I will not stay silent.

If You Had an Abortion, Can You Still Get Into Heaven?

Posted on May 30, 2025September 24, 2025 by thechristiantechnerd

NO!

Why?

Because abortion is a unforgivable sin.

If you disagree, please leave a comment!

The Bible references an unforgivable sin, which has led to considerable speculation about what it specifically entails. Some have concluded, including yours truly, that abortion must be this sin, reasoning that since murder is among the gravest offenses—and because abortion is in fact murder, it must therefore be unforgivable. But is this conclusion accurate? Yes!

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Why the Left Excuses Violence—Unless It’s Conservative

Posted on May 29, 2025August 29, 2025 by thechristiantechnerd

I’m so angry right now. I can’t even put it into words. But I have to try. Because if I don’t, I’m just letting the lies win. I’m letting the media and the left and the hypocrites in power keep pushing their agenda without anyone calling them out. So here I am, writing this down, hoping it helps me make sense of the mess.

I watched that CNN interview with Kaitlan Collins and JD Vance, and I was furious. Furious at the blatant double standards, the hypocrisy, the gaslighting. Collins tried to trap Vance by comparing the January 6th protests to the pro-Palestinian protests on college campuses. She wanted him to condemn the Capitol protesters while giving a free pass to the campus rioters. She even brought up how he helped raise money for those involved in the Capitol breach. Like that’s supposed to be some kind of gotcha moment.

But Vance didn’t back down. He called out the double standard. He pointed out how people who peacefully protested on January 6th are being treated like criminals, while those who rioted and vandalized during the Black Lives Matter protests are let off the hook. He said, “You can’t have Black Lives Matter protesters who rioted and vandalized go free when you have people who actually peacefully protested on January the 6th, who had the book thrown at them.” And you know what? He’s right. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Businesses in my neighborhood destroyed, lives ruined, and not a single word from the media about it. But let one person step foot in the Capitol, and suddenly it’s the end of democracy.

Click Here to See How CNN Covers for Rioters But Demonizes Patriots

And then Collins had the nerve to question him about Trump’s comments on pardoning January 6th protesters. She asked if people who assaulted cops should be excluded from a potential pardon. Vance said yes, they should be. But she kept pushing, trying to paint him as soft on crime. It was disgusting. She wasn’t interested in the truth. She was interested in pushing her narrative.

I’m so tired of this. Tired of the media twisting the truth, tired of the double standards, tired of the lies. As a Christian, I believe in justice. I believe in standing up for what’s right. And right now, what’s right is calling out the hypocrisy and the bias that’s poisoning our society.

I pray for strength to keep speaking out, even when it’s hard. I pray for wisdom to discern the truth in a world full of lies. I pray for courage to stand firm in my beliefs, no matter the cost. And I pray for peace, knowing that God is in control.

Scripture:

Proverbs 28:5 – “Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the Lord understand it completely.”
Isaiah 5:20 – “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness.”
Psalm 94:16 – “Who will rise up for me against the wicked? Who will take a stand for me against evildoers?”
Matthew 10:16 – “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.”
John 8:32 – “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Prayers:

Prayer for Justice: Lord, help me to seek justice in all things. Give me the courage to stand up for what is right, even when it’s difficult. Help me to be a voice for the voiceless and to fight against the injustices that plague our world.
Prayer for Wisdom: Heavenly Father, grant me wisdom to discern the truth in a world full of deception. Help me to see through the lies and to recognize the truth, no matter how uncomfortable it may be.
Prayer for Strength: God, give me the strength to keep fighting for what is right. When I am weary, renew my spirit. When I am discouraged, lift me up. Help me to persevere in the face of opposition.
Prayer for Courage: Lord, fill me with courage to speak out against the wrongs I see. Help me to be bold in my convictions and to stand firm in my beliefs, even when it’s unpopular.
Prayer for Peace: Father, grant me peace in the midst of chaos. Help me to trust in Your sovereignty and to rest in the knowledge that You are in control. Give me the peace that surpasses all understanding.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that I can’t stay silent. I can’t let the lies go unchallenged. I have to keep speaking the truth, even when it’s hard. Because if I don’t, who will?

Scripture:

Romans 12:21 – “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Ephesians 5:11 – “Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.”
Proverbs 24:11 – “Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter.”
Psalm 82:3 – “Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute.”
Micah 6:8 – “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”

Prayer for Endurance:

Lord, give me the endurance to continue this fight for truth and justice. Help me to not grow weary in doing good, knowing that in due season I will reap if I do not give up. Strengthen my resolve and keep my eyes fixed on You.

Prayer for Revival:

Father, I pray for a revival in our nation. Bring hearts back to You. Open eyes to the truth. Let righteousness and justice flow like a mighty river. Heal our land and restore what has been broken.

Prayer for Protection:

God, protect me and my loved ones as we stand for what is right. Shield us from harm and keep us safe from those who would seek to silence us. Surround us with Your angels and cover us with Your love.

Prayer for Hope:

Lord, fill me with hope. Even when the world seems dark, help me to remember that You are the light. You are the hope. You are the way. And with You, all things are possible.

I don’t know how this will all end. But I know that I can’t stay silent. I can’t let the lies go unchallenged. I have to keep speaking the truth, even when it’s hard. Because if I don’t, who will?

Scripture:

2 Corinthians 4:2 – “But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God’s word, but by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God.”

This world doesn’t just need passive believers anymore. It needs warriors. Women and men of God who are not afraid to stand in the gap. I’m not saying we need to become bitter or violent. I’m saying we need to be bold. To shine light into the darkest places and call out evil for what it is — even when it’s dressed up in media spin, hashtags, or political slogans.

CNN, MSNBC, and the rest of them — they’ve made it clear they don’t care about the truth. They care about pushing a narrative that silences Christians, conservatives, and anyone who refuses to bow at the altar of political correctness. Kaitlan Collins didn’t ask JD Vance about justice — she asked him to bend the knee. And he didn’t. And for that, I’m thankful. But it also made it painfully clear just how far gone the media has become. They don’t want balance. They want obedience. They want compliance.

And I refuse to comply.

Final Scripture:

Galatians 6:9 – “Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

Final Prayer – A Prayer for Truth to Prevail:

Heavenly Father,
You are the God of truth, justice, and righteousness. I ask You today to tear down the strongholds of deception in our media and in our government. Expose every lie and bring hidden things into the light. Raise up bold voices who will not waver, and strengthen us, Your children, to stand firm in a world that calls truth hate and evil good. Let truth prevail, and may Your name be glorified in all the earth. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.

I’m not perfect. I still get angry, I still get emotional, and sometimes I want to scream. But I bring that to God. Because even my righteous anger, if it’s not submitted to Him, can consume me. So I’ll take my frustration, my heartbreak, my fire — and I’ll lay it at His feet. I’ll ask Him to use it. To sharpen it. To turn it into something that cuts through the lies and defends what’s holy.

Because one thing I know for sure:

The anti-Christian bias in the media isn’t just frustrating. It’s dangerous.
And if we don’t deal with it now, we may not have the chance later.

But as long as I have breath in my lungs, I’ll keep speaking. I’ll keep praying. I’ll keep standing.

Truth doesn’t need the world’s approval. It just needs a witness.

And I’m willing to be one.

— A Daughter of Truth, A Voice Unafraid

Do you agree or disagree with my stance on the media bias? In your opinion, am I way out of line?

When Doing Good Gets Hard

Posted on May 29, 2025August 29, 2025 by thechristiantechnerd

The world feels so far from God, so blind to truth. It’s like I’m watching everything I once believed to be sacred get mocked, twisted, and cast aside. Morality is now “hate,” and sin is celebrated as “love.” Sometimes I feel like I’m screaming into the void, trying to shine light in a world that only wants darkness.

I walked downtown today to grab a coffee and journal a bit, hoping I could clear my head and maybe find some peace in nature. But the streets were filled with rainbow flags again. I get it—people feel empowered, seen, heard. But it breaks my heart to see how normalized sin has become. It’s everywhere: on billboards, TV shows, clothing lines, even kids’ cartoons. And no one blinks anymore. What’s wrong is right, and what’s right is “intolerant.” I can’t understand how we’ve fallen this far.

Scripture 1:

“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness.” – Isaiah 5:20

Lord, is this not exactly what we’re living through?

Prayer 1:
God, I feel like I’m drowning in a world that has forgotten You. Please strengthen my heart. Let me not grow bitter or cold, but filled with Your truth and compassion. Help me to keep standing in Your Word, even when the world calls me hateful. You know my heart, Lord. Keep it pure.

I saw a group of young women my age laughing and taking selfies with signs promoting abortion “rights.” They looked so proud—so confident. I had to look away. The idea of ending life and calling it “freedom” makes me sick. I don’t hate them, Lord. I truly don’t. But I mourn for the babies, and I mourn for the lies these women have been fed. They’ve been told they’re empowered, but they’re only being led deeper into darkness.

Scripture 2:

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you.” – Jeremiah 1:5

Each baby is a soul, a creation of God. How have we come to treat life like a burden instead of a blessing?

Prayer 2:
Father, my heart is broken for the unborn. For every child whose voice was never heard, who never saw sunlight or felt a mother’s embrace. Have mercy on us, Lord. Have mercy on this generation. Open our eyes to the value of life, and help me be a voice of love, not condemnation.

I feel like I’m constantly walking this tightrope—how do I speak truth without sounding cruel? How do I love like Jesus when my beliefs are seen as outdated and oppressive?

Even at church, I feel a shift. Some pastors are watering down the gospel to keep people comfortable. I understand wanting to reach people, but not at the expense of truth. Jesus was never afraid to speak hard truths. He flipped tables. He called sin what it was. But He also loved fiercely. I want to be like that. I have to be like that.

Scripture 3:

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind…” – Romans 12:2

Even if the whole world shifts, I won’t. I can’t.

Prayer 3:
Jesus, help me not to conform. Even when I feel alone, remind me that You were hated too. You stood for truth and love in perfect harmony. Give me boldness to do the same. Let my life reflect You—even if I lose friends, status, or comfort along the way.

Sometimes I wish I lived in a different time—a time when Christian values were the norm and not the exception. But maybe I’m here for a reason. Maybe God placed me in this moment, in this broken world, for a purpose. Maybe I was born for such a time as this.

Scripture 4:

“And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” – Esther 4:14

I don’t feel royal most days. I feel weak and small and tired. But God uses the weak. He always has.

Prayer 4:
Lord, if You can use someone like Esther, You can use me. Let me be a light in this darkness. Let me be salt in a tasteless world. And when I feel like giving up, hold me tighter. You are my strength when I have none.

I think what hurts most is that many people think I’m hateful just because I believe in biblical truth. But my heart aches for this generation. I want people to know they were made for more. That sex isn’t love. That pleasure isn’t purpose. That there is a better way—and His name is Jesus.

I know I’m not perfect. I have my own sins, my own struggles. But I’m forgiven, redeemed, and called to live differently.

Scripture 5:

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.” – Matthew 5:14

I may be small, but I’m not invisible. I can shine. Even if the world doesn’t like it.

Prayer 5:
Jesus, let me be that city on a hill. Let my light shine—not so people see me, but so they see You. Give me courage to speak when I’m scared, to love when I’m angry, to stand when it would be easier to sit down. Help me never give up on Your truth, no matter what the world says.

Tonight, I’m ending this day with both tears and hope.

I know the road ahead won’t be easy. The darkness will keep getting louder. But so will my light. I wasn’t called to be comfortable—I was called to be faithful.

So I’ll keep sharing the gospel. I’ll keep praying for hearts to change. I’ll keep leading by example—quietly, boldly, consistently. Even if it costs me everything.

Jesus gave everything for me.

I can’t give Him any less.

– Amen.

My YouTube Channel is Perfect for Everyone, Especially Christians

Posted on May 28, 2025September 25, 2025 by thechristiantechnerd

After weeks—maybe even months—of going back and forth, praying for clarity, and wrestling with some real fear of being misunderstood or criticized, I finally did it. I launched my YouTube channel to the publiv (I kept it private for many months). I’m still kind of in shock.

It’s not just any YouTube channel either—this one’s political. I know, I know. It sounds like a mess waiting to happen, especially in the world we’re living in right now where everything feels so divided. But I’ve felt such a strong pull on my heart to step up and speak the truth—real truth—not just the kind that gets pushed around by talking heads on TV.

It honestly started with frustration. Every time I turned on the news or scrolled through social media, I felt like I was being spoon-fed half-truths. Things are happening in this country and around the world that the mainstream media just refuses to cover, and if they do, it’s always through a distorted lens. It was driving me crazy.

But more than that, I started to feel convicted. As a Christian, I can’t just sit back and ignore what’s happening. We’re called to be salt and light in the world—to stand for what’s right, even when it’s uncomfortable. And believe me, this is uncomfortable. Putting my opinions out there, especially on political issues, is scary. But God didn’t give me a spirit of fear. He gave me boldness.

So I created this channel to speak plainly about the things people are either too scared to say or too blind to see. I don’t claim to know everything—I’m still learning every day—but I’m not afraid to ask hard questions and challenge the narratives we’re constantly being fed. I want this to be a space where people can think freely and hear perspectives that aren’t being broadcast on the nightly news.

Please take a look at my YouTube Channel Here!

I uploaded my first video this afternoon. It’s rough, to be honest. The lighting’s not great, and I was super nervous. But I just talked from the heart. That’s what matters, right? I hope that people who are sick of the spin, the bias, the manipulation—will find a little truth and hope in what I’m doing.

I already got a couple of comments, and one was a bit mean. That part stung. But then I remembered Jesus said we’d be hated for speaking truth in His name. So I prayed for that person and moved on. I’m doing this for a bigger reason than popularity. I’m doing it because I truly believe that Christians need to be part of the cultural conversation—not hidden away in fear.

So here I am—24, Christian, not a media expert, but trying my best to follow what God’s put on my heart. I’m nervous, I’m excited, and most of all, I’m surrendered.

Lord, use this for Your glory. Even if only one person watches and thinks deeper about the truth, it’s worth it.

Until next time,
The Christian Tech Nerd

P.S. If anyone stumbles across this in the future—check out the channel. It’s raw and honest, and it’s just getting started.

I’m Sure to Get Hate for this Article, But Black Americans Are Being Used by The Democratic Party

Posted on May 28, 2025August 29, 2025 by thechristiantechnerd

I can already feel the “hate” I will get for sharing my thoughts on this topic, but you have to be brave to be heard!

Please Checkout My New YouTube Channel (It’s New So It’ll Get Better)

Lord, today my heart feels so heavy—like it’s weighed down by chains of disappointment and betrayal. I am just so tired. Tired of the lies, tired of the pretending, tired of being used like a pawn in a game I didn’t sign up for. I don’t even know where to start because the anger inside me feels like a storm I can’t contain.

I look around at my community—the Black Americans who have been promised change, promised upliftment, promised respect by the Democratic Party for decades. Yet, education rates remain some of the worst. Economic opportunities are stagnant or shrinking. Generations of families still live paycheck to paycheck or worse. And for what? So politicians can count us as votes every four years and then turn their backs as soon as the cameras are off? It’s like we are invisible unless we serve their political agendas.

I thought the Democrats were the ones who cared about people like me—Black women, Black men, Black children—who face systemic barriers every day. But what I see is hypocrisy in its rawest form. They parade around with promises and hashtags, but their policies don’t match their words. They say they want to help, but their actions betray that. It’s a painful truth that stings so deeply.

And yet, here I am, still holding on to faith. Because honestly, what else do I have? The world is broken, and the people who say they want to fix it are only making it worse. But God’s word keeps whispering to me even in my rage: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3). I need that healing desperately, Lord.

I’m angry, but I don’t want to be bitter. I want to channel this fury into something righteous. The Bible tells me, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you” (Ephesians 4:31). But how do I put away anger when it’s rooted in real pain? How do I forgive when those who promised change have done nothing but exploit my people for votes?

I pray for clarity, Lord. Help me see beyond the surface and not lose hope. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5). I’m trying, but it’s so hard when my own community suffers and the people who say they care keep failing us.

I pray that Black Americans will wake up to the truth—that we deserve more than empty promises and political games. That our votes are sacred and should not be taken for granted. I pray for boldness to speak out even when it’s uncomfortable or unpopular. “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute” (Proverbs 31:8). That’s what I want to do with my voice.

I pray for justice, Lord. Real justice that changes systems, not just gives us crumbs from the table. “But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!” (Amos 5:24). I want to see rivers of justice pour out in my community, in my country.

I pray for leaders who are honest, who care beyond the vote count, who will fight for Black lives with more than just lip service. Lord, please raise up those leaders. Give me strength to keep pushing, even when it feels like I’m shouting into the void.

It’s exhausting being angry all the time, but I can’t let my anger turn into apathy. If anything, my faith tells me to channel this anger into action. But it hurts to see those who are supposed to protect and uplift us instead treat us like a tool for their own gain.

God, help me not to hate the politicians, but to hate the sin of deceit and the evil of exploitation. Help me love my community fiercely and keep praying for change—real change. “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21).

Today, I cry out to You with all my frustration, all my pain, and all my hope. I’m angry, yes, but I’m not done believing. I believe You see us. I believe You hear us. I believe Your justice will come. And until then, I’m holding on to You because no one else has been able to hold on to me like You do.

Amen.

God, Why Am I Always at War?

Posted on May 28, 2025August 29, 2025 by thechristiantechnerd

I’m so exhausted, Lord. So spiritually tired. I’m angry—not just annoyed, not just inconvenienced—angry. Raging. I feel like I’m walking through life with a bullseye on my back and every demon in hell has permission to aim. Why? Because I belong to You? Because I chose Jesus over comfort? Then where’s the peace You promised?

“Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” – Ephesians 6:17

I read that verse today like it’s supposed to be some magical defense, but if I’m being completely honest, it just made me more frustrated. What the heck is the helmet of salvation supposed to do when my mind feels like a warzone? I feel like I’m drowning in lies, constantly second-guessing if I’m even saved at all. Isn’t the helmet supposed to protect my thoughts?

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Prayer #1:
God, I need You to quiet the noise. Put Your hands over my ears and silence the voices that tell me I’m worthless, faithless, hopeless. Remind me what salvation actually means—because right now, it just feels like another label I don’t live up to.

I’m tired of people preaching like we’re not supposed to struggle with doubt. Like salvation is a one-time prayer and poof, we’re bulletproof. No one talks about the days where you cry yourself to sleep asking God if He still loves you. No one admits that they sometimes wonder if they’re too broken for grace.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” – 2 Timothy 1:7

Then why is my mind so noisy? Why do I feel like I’m stuck in a blender of thoughts that I can’t shut off? If salvation is supposed to protect my mind, how come I still wake up feeling anxious, confused, like I’m failing as a Christian?

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Prayer #2:
Jesus, help me believe that You didn’t save me to abandon me. Help me trust that even in my doubt, You’re still holding me. I want to believe You’re still proud of me, even when I’m a mess.

Today at church, the pastor said the helmet of salvation guards our identity in Christ. I rolled my eyes. If it really did, why is it the first thing that gets attacked? My identity in You feels like it’s under constant assault. One day I believe I’m a child of God, the next day I feel like a fraud. I’m sick of this rollercoaster.

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” – Romans 8:1

Then why do I feel condemned all the time? I make one mistake and it’s like my brain goes into full panic mode—“You’re not really saved, are you? Real Christians don’t mess up like that.” I hate how easily I forget grace. I hate how quickly I believe the worst about myself.

Prayer #3:
Lord, cover my mind. Not with Pinterest quotes or cute Instagram theology—but with truth. Remind me who I am. Remind me that salvation isn’t about my perfection, but Your persistence. Thank You for chasing me even when I don’t feel worth chasing.

I think I’ve misunderstood the helmet. I thought it was supposed to stop the attacks from coming. But maybe it’s not about that. Maybe it’s about protection in the fight, not from it.

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” – Isaiah 26:3

Peace feels like a fairy tale some days. I don’t even know what “perfect peace” looks like. But I want to. God, I want to trust You enough that my thoughts stop spiraling every time something goes wrong. I want a mind that’s steadfast, not scattered.

It’s just… hard. So freaking hard. The people around me think I’m strong because I quote scripture and lead Bible study and show up with a smile. But inside I feel like I’m barely holding on. Nobody sees the nights I scream into my pillow, asking You where You are.

Prayer #4:
God, give me the kind of faith that holds when everything is falling apart. Not the “churchy” kind, but the raw, real kind that fights for truth when everything inside me feels like it’s lying.

I think I finally get what the helmet of salvation really is—it’s not something I put on to look holy. It’s not about appearances. It’s about remembrance. It’s a helmet because I’m in battle. It’s salvation because that’s my anchor. It protects my mind from forgetting who I am and whose I am.

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.” – Psalm 28:7

I don’t feel strong. I feel like glass. But maybe You’re strong in me. Maybe the helmet doesn’t stop the blows, but it keeps them from cracking my skull open. Maybe salvation doesn’t mean I don’t fall—but it means I never fall alone.

Prayer #5:
God, help me to remember that You’ve already won. Even when I feel like I’m losing. Even when my thoughts are chaos and my heart is heavy. Teach me to wear this helmet every day—to cling to the truth that I’m Yours, even when I don’t feel like it.

So yeah, I’m still angry. I’m angry that being saved doesn’t mean being safe from pain. I’m angry that the mind You gave me is also the battlefield the enemy uses the most. But I’m also starting to understand that my anger doesn’t scare You. You already knew this walk wouldn’t be easy. That’s why You gave me armor.

So tomorrow, I’ll wake up, and I’ll put on the helmet of salvation—not as some shiny religious badge, but as a reminder:
I’m still here.
I’m still His.
And I’m still fighting.

Because my mind may be a battlefield—but my Savior is a warrior.

And He doesn’t lose.

Somewhere between heartbreak and holy fire

Posted on May 28, 2025August 29, 2025 by thechristiantechnerd

I’m writing this with my jaw clenched and tears just sitting there—right at the edge. Not sad tears. Angry tears. Tired tears. This world is so lost, and no one even cares. They laugh at God. They mock His name. They sin boldly like they’re invincible—and they’re proud of it.

I’m only 24, but I feel 100. I see people partying through their pain, “manifesting” instead of praying, worshiping crystals instead of Christ, and saying “universe” when they mean “God”—but they don’t want Him. Not really. They want the blessings, the safety, the peace—but not the Lord of Hosts who brings them.

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And honestly? I’m furious.

“The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God.’ They are corrupt, they do abominable deeds; there is none who does good.” — Psalm 14:1

Lord, are You watching this?
Prayer 1: God, I’m begging You—burn away this apathy. Wreck the fake peace these people have. Tear through the arrogance with Your truth. Let the weight of eternity settle on them like thunder. They think it’s a joke. They think they’re safe. They are not safe.

I scroll through social media and see influencers joking about going to hell—like it’s some kind of edgy club. Do they even know what they’re saying? Do they know what hell really is? The torment? The eternal separation from You, the absence of light, of love, of hope? Do they realize they’re laughing about eternal damnation?

“And if anyone’s name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.” — Revelation 20:15

Prayer 2: God, don’t let them die like this. Please. Don’t let them die thinking You were a myth. Wake them up. Do whatever it takes—rip their idols out of their hands if You have to. Wreck their comfort zones. Don’t let them stay blind.

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I talk to people I love—friends I grew up with, who used to come to church with me. Now they say “Christianity is toxic” and “God is oppressive.” No, what’s toxic is this world convincing people they can live without the One who created breath. What’s oppressive is sin—chaining people, calling it freedom.

Hell isn’t unfair. It’s not cruel. What’s cruel is knowing the truth and staying silent while people walk into it.

“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.” — Matthew 7:13

Prayer 3: Jesus, I need to know You’re still breaking hearts open. That You’re still drawing the lost. Because I feel like I’m screaming into the void and no one hears me. Everyone thinks they’re “spiritual” now. But without You, it’s all empty. Dead. Demonic, even.

Some days, I want to shake people. Scream in their faces. “Wake up! You’re not just ‘going through a phase.’ You’re playing chicken with eternity. You think you have time—but you don’t.” I wish I could show them even one second of what hell looks like. The regret. The finality. The burning knowledge that they rejected grace.

“They will suffer the punishment of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might.” — 2 Thessalonians 1:9

Prayer 4: Father, help me carry this. Help me not to let my anger become pride. You love them more than I ever could. You died for them, even while they mocked You. Make me bold without being bitter. Help me to speak truth with fire and compassion.

I know I sound harsh. Maybe I am. But it’s because I know what’s coming. I know eternity is real. Heaven isn’t a fairy tale. Hell isn’t a metaphor. It’s not some literary device—it’s God’s wrath, forever. And people I love are headed there because they want to be their own gods.

I know I can’t save anyone. Only You can. But I refuse to act like it’s not urgent. I refuse to be lukewarm. I’d rather be hated for speaking truth than be popular for staying silent.

“Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him.” — John 3:36

Prayer 5: Lord, use me as a warning if You must. Let my life shout Your name. Let my words carry eternity. I don’t care if they call me a fanatic, or a freak. I care that they know You. I care that they don’t burn.

There’s this lie going around that a “loving God would never send people to hell.” But they forget: He gave us a way out. He sent His Son. He bled for us. If we choose to reject that—what else is left? Hell isn’t a contradiction of His love—it’s the consequence of refusing it.

I’m writing this because I feel like I’m suffocating. Everyone’s so numb. So casual. And I’m sitting here with fire in my bones and no one wants to hear it. But I’ll keep saying it. I’ll keep praying. Even when I’m exhausted. Even when I’m alone.

Because eternity is coming, and I refuse to pretend otherwise.

Amen.

Dear God, Is Anyone Still Fighting for You?

Posted on May 26, 2025August 29, 2025 by thechristiantechnerd

I don’t even know where to begin. My heart is on fire tonight — but not the kind of fire you want. It’s the kind that burns because I’m angry, frustrated, and afraid all at once. I’m afraid that we’re losing something sacred. Something eternal. I’m afraid that Christianity — true, Bible-rooted Christianity — is being mocked, twisted, erased.

And worst of all, I feel like no one around me even cares.

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Everywhere I turn, the world is bowing to the Liberal agenda. Everything’s “tolerance” and “love wins” — but only if you agree with them. The moment you stand up for God’s Word, you’re called hateful, backwards, or worse. I’m tired. I’m mad. I feel like I’m watching the flame of our faith flicker under the pressure of politics and popularity contests.

“If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.” — John 15:18 (ESV)

Lord, help me remember that it’s not me they hate — it’s You. But still, it hurts. It hurts to feel like I’m shouting into a void. It hurts to see churches flying rainbow flags and “celebrating pride” while ignoring the pride that leads to destruction.

Prayer 1:
God, please open the eyes of the Church. Wake us up before it’s too late. Give us boldness, not softness. Give us conviction, not compromise. I don’t want to be a lukewarm believer. I want to burn for You, not blend in for them.

What scares me the most is how fast we’re moving. Just a few years ago, things felt different. Now, if you don’t use the “right” pronouns, you could lose your job. If you say marriage is between a man and a woman — just like the Bible says — you’re called a bigot. I’m only 24, but I feel like I’m already living in a country that doesn’t want me — or at least doesn’t want what I believe.

And I keep wondering: Where are the other Christians? Why are so many of us silent?

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” — 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

Prayer 2:
Lord, give Your people courage. Wake us up from our comfort. Let us speak with truth and love — not fear. Let us vote, shout, pray, and live like Your kingdom matters more than their approval.

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Tonight I read a headline about another pastor arrested for “hate speech” because he quoted Scripture in a sermon. I wanted to scream. How can we just let this happen?! How can Christians be silenced in a country built on freedom? The same freedom they use to tear us down?

I know not every liberal is evil — I’m not that naive. But I also know the ideology they push is poison to our faith. It’s not about kindness or justice anymore. It’s about control. It’s about replacing God with government, sin with pride, truth with confusion.

“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness.” — Isaiah 5:20 (ESV)

Prayer 3:
Jesus, be our defender. Be our truth in a sea of lies. Help me not to become bitter — but I can’t pretend I’m not furious. Channel my anger into action. Let me fight for You! Give me a voice that carries and a heart that doesn’t give up.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if every Christian in America actually voted with the Bible in mind. Not with emotion. Not with culture. But with truth. What if we demanded that our politicians protect the unborn, defend religious liberty, and stop forcing godless agendas into our schools? What if we stood up — together?

It breaks my heart to see how many Christians say, “Well, Jesus isn’t political.” And yes, He wasn’t running for office — but He sure stood up to power. He didn’t sugarcoat the truth for Rome or the Pharisees. He turned over tables. He called sin what it was.

So why are we too scared to even post a Bible verse?

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” — Romans 12:2 (ESV)

Prayer 4:
Father, help me live transformed. Don’t let me mold to this world. Make me holy — set apart — even if it costs me popularity, friendships, or peace. Let me care more about pleasing You than fitting in.

I think of the kids growing up right now, being taught to question everything — except the lies. It’s a world where drag shows are “family-friendly,” but prayer in school is banned. A world where Christian voices are censored, but everything else is celebrated in the name of “freedom.” If we don’t fight back now, will there be anything left for the next generation?

I don’t want to sit back and watch our light go out.

“Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” — Matthew 5:10 (ESV)

Prayer 5:
Jesus, make me worthy of being persecuted for You. If I have to suffer to stand for truth, let it be done. I don’t want comfort — I want courage. I don’t want peace with the world — I want peace in You. And I want to see revival in my lifetime. Please, Lord. Let it begin with me.

It’s almost midnight now. I probably won’t sleep much tonight. My mind is racing with everything I want to do — everything I feel called to shout from the rooftops. Maybe this article is just a release. But maybe it’s also a reminder: I’m not crazy. I’m not alone. And I’m not giving up.

God is still on the throne. But His people need to rise. We can’t afford to play nice anymore. Not when souls are at stake. Not when truth is under attack.

If we don’t carry the flame — who will?