Faith Isn’t Just Positive Thinking, It’s Trusting God When It’s Hard

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

I feel the weight of a question that’s been whispering in the back of my mind for a while now: What’s the real difference between faith and optimism? At first, I thought maybe it was just semantics—two pretty words that kind of meant the same thing. But after what’s happened this past month—between losing my part-time job, watching Mom go through another round of treatment, and waking up every day with that strange heaviness—I’m beginning to realize they’re definitely not the same.

Optimism says, “Things will work out.”
Faith says, “Even if they don’t, I will still trust Him.”

I think optimism is born from hope in circumstances. But faith? Faith is born from trust in a Person—Jesus. It’s more than a positive outlook. It’s an anchor. And I’m learning that faith doesn’t always come with good feelings or sunny thoughts. Sometimes, it feels like standing in the rain with nothing but a promise to hold onto.

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” – Hebrews 11:1

This verse hit me hard today. I’d read it so many times before, but it felt brand new in light of what I’m walking through. Faith isn’t pretending things are okay—it’s believing God is still good, even when everything else is not.

Prayer 1:

Lord Jesus, help me not to confuse Your promises with my preferences. Teach me to walk by faith, not by feelings or favorable outcomes. Let my heart rest in Your faithfulness, even when my world feels uncertain. Amen.

Earlier this morning, I talked to Ava about it over coffee. She said, “Faith is like walking blindfolded, knowing God’s the one guiding your steps. Optimism just hopes you don’t trip.”

That made me laugh—but it also stuck. I’ve been blindly hoping things would just get better. I wanted the storm to pass. But now I’m starting to ask God, “How are You shaping me in this storm?”

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” – 2 Corinthians 5:7

It’s easy to be optimistic when your bank account’s full, when your prayers are answered fast, and when the people you love are thriving. But when none of that is true—when your heart feels like it’s unraveling—what’s left?

Faith.

Raw, unpretty, real faith.

Faith that keeps you praying when it feels like nothing’s changing.
Faith that opens your Bible when your heart feels numb.
Faith that says, “Even here, He is with me.”

Prayer 2:

Father, I don’t want a faith that depends on how I feel or what I see. I want a faith rooted in who You are—unchanging, unfailing, always near. Help me trust You, even in the silence. Amen.

This afternoon I sat by the lake near campus, just watching the water ripple and listening to the breeze. And I thought: optimism stares at the surface and says, “Look how calm it is today.” But faith knows, “Even if the storm comes, I’m in the boat with Jesus.”

It reminds me of when Peter walked on the water. He was fine until he took his eyes off Jesus and looked at the wind. I do that a lot. I let my eyes settle on the news, my bank statement, my fears. And that’s when I start sinking.

“But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’” – Matthew 14:30

And you know what? Jesus didn’t shame him. He reached out and saved him. That’s the kind of God I have—not a distant judge but a present Savior.

Prayer 3:

Jesus, when my faith falters, be quick to catch me. Remind me to keep my eyes on You—not the waves. I trust that Your hand is never too far from mine. Amen.

Something else came to me tonight. Optimism says, “It’s going to be okay.”
But faith says, “Even if it’s not okay, He is still with me.”

That changes everything. It means I don’t have to fake a smile when my heart aches. I don’t have to pretend I’m strong when I’m tired. I can bring every fear, every doubt, every raw thought straight to Him—and He won’t turn me away.

“Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7

That word “cares” is so gentle. God isn’t annoyed by my tears or overwhelmed by my anxiety. He wants me to come closer, not clean myself up first.

Prayer 4:

God, thank You for being a safe place for my soul. When I feel fragile and weary, help me to remember You care about every detail. Draw me near when I want to run. Amen.

So tonight, here’s where I land:
Optimism looks for signs.
Faith trusts the unseen.

Optimism might help me survive the day, but faith teaches me how to thrive, even in the dark.

And you know what else? Faith doesn’t mean I’ll never feel afraid. It means fear doesn’t get the final say. It means I believe God is doing something good, even when I can’t understand it yet.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him.” – Romans 8:28

That “all things” part isn’t just the sweet moments. It’s the hard ones too. The heartbreaks. The waiting seasons. The losses. All of it. God doesn’t waste anything.

Prayer 5:

Lord, make my heart brave—not because I know the future, but because I know You. Let my faith grow deep roots, so even when storms come, I won’t be shaken. Use this season for Your glory, even when I don’t understand it yet. Amen.

Well, I think I’ll close this page and sit with Him a little longer tonight. Maybe read a Psalm, maybe just sit in the quiet. I’m learning that silence isn’t always emptiness. Sometimes, it’s where God speaks the loudest.

Please Lord, redeem California And protect this country from Gavin Newsom

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd


I am so frustrated right now. I can hardly focus on anything else but this heavy, burning weight in my heart about what’s happening in California—and what could happen to this entire country if people don’t wake up. I just need to pour it all out here, because I can’t yell it from the rooftops the way I want to, and I’m honestly too angry to speak to people about it without it turning into a fight. So I’m going to give it to You, Lord, raw and real.

Click Here to Watch How Disgraceful Gavin Newsom Really Is

Scripture #1 – Psalm 94:16
“Who will rise up for me against the wicked? Who will take a stand for me against evildoers?”
Lord, I feel like this verse is my whole mood lately. Who is standing up against the wicked policies in California? Who’s fighting for the unborn? For the children? For families who just want to raise their kids without the government shoving perversion, confusion, and chaos into their homes? I’m begging You to raise up leaders in California who love You, who fear You, and who will stand up against Gavin Newsom and everything he represents.

Prayer #1
Father God, I pray right now for the people of California. Open their eyes. Tear the veil off their faces. Show them what’s really happening. Give them wisdom to vote out Gavin Newsom. Let truth pierce through the deception and emotional manipulation. Raise up godly voices with courage. Silence the voices of confusion and darkness. Amen.

I look at what California has become under Newsom, and it makes me sick. Literal sanctuary for abortion—even pushing for full-term and post-birth killing. Schools hiding gender transitions from parents. Drag shows for kids. Skyrocketing crime. Taxes. Fires. Homelessness. People fleeing the state because they can’t take it anymore. And what does Gavin do? Smile for the cameras and pretend it’s all part of some glorious progressive utopia. It’s delusional. It’s evil.

And what’s worse is that he thinks he deserves to be President. President of the United States?!? God, I can’t even stomach the thought.

Scripture #2 – Isaiah 5:20
“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness…”
Yes, Lord. That’s exactly what’s happening. They’re painting sin as virtue. They’re labeling righteousness as bigotry. And this man is leading the charge with his fake smile and soft voice, acting like he’s some moral hero when he’s literally spitting on Your Word and leading people astray.

Prayer #2
Jesus, I pray You would block Gavin Newsom from ever becoming President. Shut every door. Let the plans of the wicked be exposed and fall apart. Guard our nation from even entertaining the idea. Don’t let charisma or polished words deceive people. Give voters discernment. Give us courage to say “No.” We don’t need another puppet of darkness in the White House. Amen.

I know anger isn’t supposed to rule me. I’m not proud of how intense this is, but how can I not feel furious? He uses religion when it benefits him—quoting Jesus to justify killing babies. Quoting scripture to support policies that break Your commandments. It’s blasphemy. And people eat it up because it’s coated in political correctness and “tolerance.”

Scripture #3 – Proverbs 29:2
“When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice: but when the wicked rule, the people mourn.”
That’s what California is doing—mourning. Silently, loudly, desperately. People are mourning their neighborhoods, their safety, their faith, their families, their very sanity under the weight of wicked leadership.

Prayer #3
God, raise up righteous leaders. We need bold men and women who are rooted in Your truth and not afraid to speak it. I pray for local elections, school boards, governors—let there be a holy uprising of people who are not ashamed of the Gospel. And may California, of all places, be a place where revival breaks out—not just spiritually, but politically and morally. Amen.

Sometimes I wonder if anyone else my age even cares. Most of them are either totally brainwashed or too afraid to say anything because it’s “unpopular.” But silence is complicity. And I’m not staying silent. I won’t. If that means losing friends, fine. If that means being the “crazy Christian girl” in the group chat, so be it. I care more about pleasing God than fitting in.

Scripture #4 – Galatians 1:10
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
That hits hard. I am a servant of Christ. I will speak truth, even when it costs me. Even if I’m mocked or labeled “intolerant.” Jesus wasn’t crucified for being politically correct. He was crucified for being right.

Prayer #4
Jesus, give me the boldness to speak the truth in love. Help me to not be ruled by anger, but to let it drive me toward action. Give me grace and clarity. Let my words reflect Your heart, even when I’m confronting darkness. And help others my age to rise up too. Light a fire in this generation. Amen.

I keep praying for California. It’s where so much influence comes from—media, tech, culture. If it stays under corrupt leadership, the rest of the nation suffers. And Gavin Newsom is a huge part of the problem. He’s not just a symptom—he’s a driver. A slick, dangerous one.

Scripture #5 – Ephesians 5:11
“Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.”
I will not pretend like he’s just “a different opinion.” This is about life and death, truth and lies, freedom and oppression. I will expose the lies. And I’ll keep praying that others will too.

Prayer #5
God, expose Gavin Newsom for who he truly is. Let the media spin fall flat. Let people see the spiritual truth behind his policies. Don’t let deception win. And please—PLEASE—do not let this man ever become President. Protect this country. Wake us up before it’s too late. In Jesus’ powerful name, Amen.

I know You’re in control, Lord. That gives me peace, even when I feel overwhelmed. I trust You. I do. I just needed to vent. To process. To cry out. Because I don’t want to see America fall deeper into darkness. I don’t want my future kids growing up in a nation run by leaders who mock Your design.

Please, Lord… redeem California. And protect this country from Gavin Newsom.

Evil Los Angeles Rioters: 4 Prayers for America’s Police Officers

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

I saw another clip today—more fires, more screaming, more broken glass and broken people. It’s all happening in Los Angeles again, and other cities too. I feel this awful weight in my chest, like I’m watching the heart of our country bleed out in slow motion. I just want to run somewhere quiet and safe, where the world isn’t upside down.

But most of all, I just keep thinking about the police officers—those men and women who go into the chaos every single day with a badge on their chest and targets on their backs. God, help them.

It feels like no one is praying for them anymore. Or maybe they are, but not loud enough. The world is shouting with so much anger that I wonder if our quiet prayers even get heard. But I have to believe they do. I have to.

Tonight, I prayed harder than I have in weeks. Not for myself, or even for peace in general—but specifically for every police officer in this country. The good ones. The tired ones. The scared ones. The brave ones. The ones who still show up even when they’re hated for just putting on the uniform.

I wrote down five prayers to keep in my Bible, and maybe I’ll print them and put them in my car or post them somewhere. Maybe someone else needs to pray them too.

Prayer 1: For Divine Protection
Dear Lord, please place Your heavenly protection around every police officer tonight. Whether they’re on duty in Los Angeles or in a quiet rural town, cover them with Your shield. Let no weapon formed against them prosper. Hold them close when they walk into danger, and guide their steps away from traps set by evil. Let them come home to their families safely. Please, Father, be their armor.

Prayer 2: For Peace in the Midst of Chaos
God, bring peace into the hearts of officers who are facing hostile crowds and terrifying situations. Let them feel Your presence in the noise. When bricks are thrown, when sirens scream, when their hands shake from adrenaline, remind them that they are never alone. Be their calm, their stillness in the storm. Let them breathe You in when everything around them feels like it’s falling apart.

Prayer 3: For Moral Strength and Discernment
Father, give officers the strength to do what is right even when it’s hard. Let them be just, wise, and merciful. Help them discern truth in a world full of lies and deception. May they reflect Your light in dark places, and make decisions with courage and integrity. Lord, we know not every officer is perfect, but help them strive to be righteous in every moment.

Prayer 4: For Their Families
Lord, please bless the families who say goodbye every morning not knowing if they’ll say hello again. Comfort the wives, husbands, parents, and children who wait by the door or the phone. Give them peace that surpasses understanding. Let them feel Your arms wrapped around them when anxiety creeps in. Protect not just the officers—but everyone who loves them.

Sometimes I feel silly writing things like this down, like maybe people would roll their eyes if they knew how much I care. But I do. I care so much it hurts. And I think part of that is because I’ve seen the other side. I’ve had friends in law enforcement. I’ve prayed with them, cried with them, and once even went to a funeral for one of them. He was only 30. Shot trying to help someone who was being robbed.

People don’t see that side. They see uniforms and headlines. They forget the tears. They forget that officers have hearts, that they go home and kiss their kids goodnight just like everyone else. And now, in this season of riots and rage, it feels like we’ve stopped listening. We’ve let hate be louder than hope.

But I won’t stop praying. Even if I’m the only one in my circle who does. Even if people think it’s old-fashioned or naive. I believe that prayer moves mountains. I believe that Jesus walks with our police officers, especially in the middle of the fire. And if no one else will say their names in prayer—I will.

So tonight, as my candles flicker and the wind blows outside, I lift every officer’s name up to heaven. The ones I know, and the ones I don’t. The ones who feel invisible. The ones who are barely holding on. The ones who still believe in protecting and serving, even when it costs everything.

Lord, hold them close. Don’t let go of them.

And maybe—just maybe—heal us too.

Jehovah-Jireh: Relax and Never Forget That God is Always in Control

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

This was a very difficult post for me to write, although it may not seem like it while reading, but this is my 5th draft, and I’m still not sure if it’s as polished as I hoped it would be, but I started writing this a few weeks ago, and have decided to hit “PUBLISH”. I do hope it’s worthy of your eyes. God bless!

Please enjoy………

If you were to ask me which name of God means the most to me, I wouldn’t even hesitate. Without a doubt, it’s Jehovah-Jireh — “The Lord Will Provide.” It’s one of those names that has become deeply personal over the years. Not just a theological concept or something I read about once in a devotional, but a truth that I’ve had to cling to through real-life moments of fear, uncertainty, and waiting.

The first time this name shows up in Scripture is in Genesis 22, and honestly, every time I read that story, it hits a little different. It’s the one where God tells Abraham to sacrifice his beloved son, Isaac — the very child God had promised him. Like, imagine that. You finally get the promise you’ve waited years and years for, and now God asks you to lay it on the altar? That’s intense.

So Abraham and Isaac climb up Mount Moriah. And somewhere along the way, Isaac notices something’s off. He looks around and goes, “Hey Dad, we’ve got the fire and the wood, but where’s the lamb for the burnt offering?” (Genesis 22:7). And Abraham, in what I imagine was a mix of steady faith and a trembling heart, answers, “God will provide for Himself the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.”

Spoiler alert (but also Bible history): just as Abraham is about to sacrifice Isaac, God stops him. An angel of the Lord calls out to him, and Abraham looks up to see a ram caught in a nearby thicket. God had already placed that ram there — ahead of time, before Abraham or Isaac even started their climb. Abraham ends up naming that place Jehovah-Jireh, saying, “On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided” (Genesis 22:14).

That phrase — Jehovah-Jireh — literally means “The Lord will provide,” but there’s something deeper in the original Hebrew. It carries the idea of seeing ahead of time. God doesn’t just provide in the moment; He sees your need before you even know you have one. He’s already made a way. He’s already put the ram in the thicket.

That gets me every time.

Because here’s the thing: life is hard. I’m 24, and while I’m still learning and growing (a lot!), I’ve already been through enough to know that life rarely goes according to plan. The economy is wild. Friendships change. Health scares show up out of nowhere. Doors close without warning. Sometimes it feels like everything is spinning, and I’m doing my best to hold it all together with coffee, prayer, and a halfway decent Spotify worship playlist.

But in the middle of all that chaos, I come back to Jehovah-Jireh. I come back to the God who provides — the God who sees me and knows what I need, even when I don’t know how to ask for it.

If I’m being honest, one of my biggest struggles is control. I like to have a plan. I like to know what’s next. I’m that girl with the color-coded planner, the backup plans, and the contingency ideas just in case things don’t go perfectly. Letting go and trusting in God does come naturally for me, but trusting in others does not. It’s like getting on an airplane and handing over control to a pilot I’ve never met. I have no idea what they’re doing, how they’re navigating, or what turbulence is coming — but I have to trust they’ll get me safely to my destination.

That’s what walking with God is like. He sees the storm clouds before we even feel the raindrops. He knows which paths are dangerous and which ones will grow us. And He knows exactly when to bring the ram into view.

I’ve had seasons where provision looked like a last-minute job offer I didn’t expect. Other times, it was a friend texting at just the right moment to pray with me. I’ve seen God provide financially when I didn’t know how I’d pay rent. I’ve seen Him provide peace that didn’t make sense and guidance when I felt totally lost.

Provision isn’t always flashy. Sometimes it’s quiet — a small shift in your heart, a whisper of hope, a sense that even though you don’t have the full answer yet, you’re not alone. Jehovah-Jireh shows up in the details, in the waiting, and even in the heartbreak.

We tend to think that provision always means getting what we want — the dream job, the healing, the breakthrough. But sometimes, God provides in the not yet. Sometimes, His provision is the strength to endure. The grace to wait well. The peace that doesn’t come from circumstances, but from knowing He’s near.

God is never surprised. Like, ever. Nothing catches Him off guard. That test result? He saw it coming. That sudden layoff? He already had a plan. That friendship that fell apart? He knows what it means, and He knows how to heal you. He’s not distant. He’s not panicking. He’s not playing catch-up.

He is Jehovah-Jireh.

So here’s what I’m learning to do (imperfectly, but intentionally): I’m learning to take my hands off the wheel. I’m learning to stop trying to run the show and instead, trust that God is already ahead of me. I don’t have to manipulate things into working out. I don’t have to stress myself sick trying to make sure everything goes perfectly. My job is obedience and trust. His job is provision and timing.

If you’re in a season where you don’t see the ram yet — where you’re climbing the mountain and you’re tired and confused and wondering what in the world God is doing — take heart. He’s not late. He hasn’t forgotten you. The thicket is closer than you think.

Maybe the provision won’t look like what you expected. Maybe it’ll stretch your faith and require more waiting than you planned for. But you can trust that God will provide. Because it’s not just what He does — it’s who He is.

So today, even if your world feels unstable and your heart feels heavy, remember the God of Abraham. Remember the God who sees in advance. Remember Jehovah-Jireh.

And take a deep breath — He’s already gone ahead of you.

Beyond the Offense: Walking in Grace Every Day

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

I’ve been thinking a lot about grace — not just the kind God gives me (which is endless and overwhelming), but the kind I struggle to give others.

It hit me today while I was standing in line at the grocery store. The cashier was moving slowly, visibly flustered, and my first reaction was frustration. My thoughts weren’t kind. I didn’t say anything harsh out loud, but inside… I was not gracious. And I’ve been carrying that moment around with me all day. Not because it was huge, but because it revealed something in me.

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I want to be someone who extends grace. But if I’m honest, I’m quick to criticize and slow to encourage. I spot flaws faster than I celebrate growth in others.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)

This verse has been tugging at my heart all week. God has shown me so much mercy — and I didn’t earn a bit of it. So why is it so hard for me to pass it on? Why do I expect people to be perfect, when I know I’m not?

Prayer 1:


Jesus, help me reflect You. Not just in what I say I believe, but in how I treat people. Make me someone who notices the good, who gives the benefit of the doubt, who’s patient with others the way You’re endlessly patient with me.

I’ve especially noticed how easy it is to be hard on the people closest to me. I snap at my siblings when they annoy me. I judge my friends for choices I don’t agree with. I get irritated when my parents repeat themselves or when my coworker is late — again. And yet, God doesn’t deal with me like that.

“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” – Psalm 103:8 (NIV)

I read that and think: How can I possibly mirror that kind of love? But then I remember — it’s not something I can manufacture on my own. It’s the Holy Spirit in me. Without Him, I’m just stuck in my old ways.

Prayer 2:
Holy Spirit, please shape me. Soften the parts of me that are harsh, impatient, and critical. Create in me a heart that is gentle and gracious. I want to grow, even if it means being uncomfortable.

I know I’m not alone in this. Our whole culture encourages us to “speak our truth,” to be brutally honest, to point out what’s wrong in everyone else. But I’m starting to see that sometimes the bravest thing is to hold back criticism, and instead speak words that build others up.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” – Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

I feel convicted reading that. How often do my words actually build others up? Not as often as they should. I gossip sometimes, even if I call it venting. I speak in sarcasm and call it humor. I critique my church instead of praying for it. I highlight what’s lacking instead of celebrating what God is doing.

Prayer 3:
Father, forgive me for using my words carelessly. Help me be someone who speaks life, who encourages more than critiques. Let my mouth be an instrument of grace — not just with friends, but even with strangers.

What’s crazy is that I know grace works. I’ve experienced it. There have been times when I’ve failed, and instead of condemnation, I received love and understanding. Those moments changed me more than any lecture ever could.

So why don’t I lead with grace more often? Maybe it’s pride. Maybe I think people should know better. But then I think of Jesus — how He washed feet, how He forgave from the cross, how He invited sinners to eat with Him.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8 (NIV)

He didn’t wait for us to clean up. He loved us right where we were. That humbles me. Because I don’t deserve that kind of love — and yet, I’ve received it every single day.

Prayer 4:
Jesus, make me more like You. Help me stop measuring others by standards I can’t even meet myself. Fill me with compassion. Let Your grace flow through me — not just to me.

I think one of the hardest things is learning to forgive people who don’t apologize, or who don’t even realize they hurt me. But I’ve learned that holding onto offense doesn’t protect me — it poisons me. Grace, on the other hand, frees me.

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” – Colossians 3:13 (NIV)

That’s the standard. Forgive as the Lord forgave me. And how did He forgive me? Fully. Freely. Forever.

Prayer 5:
Lord, give me the strength to forgive when it’s hard. When people don’t say sorry. When they don’t change. When I’m tempted to hold a grudge. I want to live light and free — not weighed down by bitterness.

Tonight, as I sit with all of this, I feel a holy discomfort. God is stretching me. But it’s not out of guilt — it’s out of love. He’s inviting me into a new way of living. A way marked by grace. Not just receiving it, but extending it.

So tomorrow, I want to try again. I want to be slower to speak and quicker to understand. I want to catch myself before I criticize. I want to look for the good. And when I mess up — because I will — I’ll lean into His grace once again.

He’s not asking me to be perfect. He’s asking me to be surrendered.

Thank Goodness GOD Isn’t Fair

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

I sat on my bed after reading Luke 6:35 for probably the tenth time thisweek, but this time… it got under my skin. Like, deeply under.

“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” — Luke 6:35

That verse makes me squirm. Not because I don’t love You—but because I don’t love them. The people who ghosted me. The friend who betrayed my trust. The guy who took my kindness and used it like a doormat. And yet, You’re telling me to love them? And not just tolerate them… but do good to them?

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Prayer #1:
Lord, help me be honest about how hard this is. I want to follow You, even when it feels like I’m walking straight into pain.

I always thought fairness was a godly trait. You do good, you get good. Do bad, and well… consequences. But then here comes Jesus, saying, “Love the ones who hurt you. Give without expecting. Be kind to the ungrateful and the wicked.”

That’s not fair.

But You know what’s wild? I’m starting to think… maybe that’s the best thing about You, God.

Because if You were fair, if You gave me what I deserved—I’d be toast. And not the good kind. The burnt, stale kind.

“He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.” — Psalm 103:10

Prayer #2:
God, thank You for not being fair. Thank You for mercy that flows deeper than my mistakes.

Fairness would have left me out in the cold for all the lies I told in high school, for every time I gossiped to look cool, for the quiet pride I still carry in my chest that whispers, “I’m better than them.”

But grace? Grace says: I see it all… and I still want you.

Prayer #3:
Jesus, make me more like You. Teach me to love people who don’t “deserve” it—because that’s how You love me.

This is the hard truth I keep wrestling with: I’m not the hero in the story. I’m not the one extending grace from a throne of righteousness. I’m the one who needs it. Desperately.

And so when You say, “Be kind to the ungrateful and wicked,” maybe You’re not just talking about them. Maybe You’re talking about me.

Prayer #4:
Break down my pride, Lord. Help me stop seeing myself as better than others. Remind me we’re all standing in need of the same grace.

It’s easy to believe in grace when I’m the one receiving it. It’s way harder when You ask me to give it away like candy—especially to people who don’t even say thank you.

But then I remember… I don’t always say thank you either. I take Your blessings for granted. I doubt Your goodness. I disobey and apologize later like it’s no big deal. And You still love me. You still bless me.

“While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” — Romans 5:8

Prayer #5:
God, let that verse never lose its weight. You loved me while I was sinning. Not after. Not once I cleaned up. Right in the mess.

So when I say, “God isn’t fair,” I don’t mean it in the bitter way some people do. I mean it with relief. Because fair would’ve left me without hope. Fair would’ve cut me off the moment I messed up. But You? You run toward the mess. You meet me with kindness that I didn’t earn.

And now… You’re asking me to do the same. Not because it’s easy. Not even because it feels good. But because it’s how Your Kingdom works.

Prayer #6:
Jesus, give me the courage to love in unfair ways. Help me bless those who curse me. Fill me with Your compassion when mine runs dry.

Today I thought about the person who hurt me the most last year. It still stings. I don’t want to pretend like it didn’t matter. But I also don’t want bitterness to chain me up. I want to be free. And I think freedom is found in that unfair, radical grace You keep showing me.

Prayer #7:
Help me forgive, God. Even if they never apologize. Even if they don’t change. Help me let go, not for them—but for You.

And help me love generously, not because I trust the other person—but because I trust You.

Maybe that’s the real root of this all. Trust. Do I trust You enough to follow You into uncomfortable places? Into unfair love? Into mercy that looks foolish?

I think I’m learning to say yes. One wobbly, messy yes at a time.

Prayer #8:
Father, thank You for loving me so well. Let my life reflect that kind of love, even when it costs me. Especially then.

Thank goodness You aren’t fair, God. Thank goodness You’re good instead.

Making Sense of God’s Eternality

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it is that God already knows what I’m going to pray—even before I think the words. Like, He sees the prayers I don’t even speak out loud. The ones that just kind of hang in the quiet places of my heart. The messy, confused, tangled-up thoughts that never become words… He knows all of it. And even more than that, He knows what I could’ve said but didn’t.

I keep coming back to this verse:

“Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.” – Psalm 139:4 (NIV)

That just stuns me. God completely knows my words before I say them. Every hidden thought. Every half-formed sentence I never prayed because I didn’t feel bold enough or didn’t know how to say it right.

Prayer 1:


God, I’m so thankful You don’t require perfection in my prayers. You’re not waiting for polished speeches or eloquent phrases. You’re just waiting for me. Thank You for seeing me, even when I’m quiet.

Today, I caught myself in this weird in-between state—like I was on the edge of praying but didn’t know how. I was walking to work, headphones in, but my mind was somewhere else. I wasn’t even speaking out loud, but I was feeling this deep, unspoken longing. A mix of anxiety and hope, all twisted up. And I realized: that was a prayer. Maybe not in the traditional sense, but it was.

“And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.” – Romans 8:26 (NLT)

Prayer 2:


Holy Spirit, thank You for praying on my behalf when I don’t even know what to ask for. I’m learning that even my groans, my silence, my sighs—you translate all of that into something beautiful before the Father.

Isn’t that wild? That God understands our groanings—even our confusion, our aching, our wordless cries? I think I’ve always felt this pressure to come to Him with a full prayer “ready.” Like, prepared. But I’m realizing He’s already leaning in. Already listening.

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And here’s the part that hit me the hardest tonight: not only does God hear my prayers before I speak them, He also knows how they’ll be answered. Like—He’s already there. In the moment when I’m crying out, in the waiting, and even in the outcome. He’s already standing in the future I can’t see.

“I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come.” – Isaiah 46:10 (NIV)

That verse gives me so much peace. He sees the beginning and the end at once. He knows how I’ll respond when He says “yes,” or “not yet,” or even “no.” That’s so hard for me to process—because I barely know how I’ll feel tomorrow.

Prayer 3:


God, I trust that You are in all the places I haven’t reached yet. Help me surrender the need to control how I pray, what I ask, and how You’ll respond. I want to believe You’re writing a story that is better than my own plans.

I think about all the prayers I’ve never dared to pray—because I was afraid they’d go unanswered. Or worse, that I’d be disappointed. But the more I sit with this truth, the more I realize… He knows even those. The ones I bury, the ones I edit in my mind, the ones I rehearse and never say.

“Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.” – Matthew 6:8 (ESV)

That verse is so comforting, but also a little humbling. God doesn’t need the prayer to know my heart. Yet He invites me to pray. Not because He’s uninformed, but because He’s relational.

Prayer 4:


Father, thank You for knowing what I need before I do. I don’t want to come to You just for answers—I want to come because You are the answer. Teach me to enjoy Your presence, not just Your provision.

Tonight, I’m wrestling with a decision I haven’t said out loud yet. It’s about whether I should take that opportunity to move. I haven’t talked to anyone about it seriously. I haven’t even really prayed about it out loud. But God knows. I know He knows. He sees the restless questions in my chest. The fears, the hopes. And it’s comforting—no, it’s freeing—to realize I don’t have to say the perfect prayer for Him to act in love.

“Even before they call, I will answer; while they are still speaking, I will hear.” – Isaiah 65:24 (NIV)

That’s the God I love. He’s already answering while I’m still forming the thought. He’s not waiting for me to perform. He’s just waiting for me to turn toward Him—even slightly.

Prayer 5:


Jesus, You are closer than my breath. You answer even when I don’t know the right words. I give You my silence, my fears, my thoughts—because I trust You can do more with them than I ever could.

So… here I am. Writing this down. Not because I have it all figured out, but because I want to remember. I want to remember this quiet confidence that’s starting to bloom in me. The truth that You already know. You already hear. You already care.

Even when I don’t pray the prayer out loud—You’re still listening.
Even when I hold it back—You still see it.
Even when I don’t know what to ask—You still answer in love.

And that changes everything.

Parenthood, Not Gay Pride: Children Deserve a Mom and Dad

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

I’m so mad I can barely think straight. I don’t even want to write right now, but I feel like I have to. If I don’t pour this out to God, I might explode.

Everywhere I turn — social media, news, even some churches — they’re pushing this idea that any kind of family is okay. That love is love. That it doesn’t matter if a child has a mom and a dad, or two dads, or two moms, or who even knows what else. And I know I’m supposed to be kind and tolerant, but when I see God’s design being flipped upside down, it stirs something in me that I can’t ignore.

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I feel alone sometimes in what I believe. Like if I open my mouth and say what’s on my heart, I’ll be labeled a bigot or hateful. But I’m not hateful. I care. That’s why it makes me so angry — because kids are being robbed of something sacred. They need both a mother and a father. That’s how God made it.

“So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” – Genesis 1:27 (NKJV)

I believe this down to my bones. God made man and woman on purpose. It wasn’t random. It was intentional. Masculinity and femininity reflect different aspects of God’s character. And a child raised by both a mom and a dad gets the chance to learn from both — to be nurtured and challenged, comforted and protected. That balance matters.

—

Lord, I’m angry right now. But underneath that anger is grief. I feel like the world is calling evil good and good evil. Please help me respond with both truth and grace. Give me boldness, but also wisdom. Don’t let my frustration become sin. Help me speak Your truth in love.

—

Today I saw a video of two men adopting a baby. The comments were full of applause — people calling them brave, calling it beautiful. I couldn’t help but feel sick to my stomach. Not because I hate them — I don’t. I actually feel sad for them. But also sad for the baby. That child will never know the warmth of a mother’s embrace. And we’re supposed to just smile and say “love is love”? I can’t.

“Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness…” – Isaiah 5:20

I want to scream. I want to ask people — don’t you see what’s happening? This isn’t just about opinions. This is about children’s lives. This is about foundational truths. This is about God’s order being traded in for chaos.

But when I speak up, I get told I’m judgmental. That Jesus would accept everyone. And yes, He did welcome everyone, but He also told them to go and sin no more. He never compromised truth just to keep the peace.

—

Jesus, help me love like You. You never backed down from truth, and You never stopped loving. That’s the kind of boldness I want — one rooted in Your Spirit. I don’t want to be self-righteous, but I also refuse to go silent. Give me courage to speak when it’s uncomfortable. Help me stand for children and for Your design, even if the world hates me for it.

—

I don’t hate gay people. I don’t wish them harm. But I’m tired of being forced to say that their version of family is equal to what God created. It’s not. I won’t pretend that it is. Not because I’m mean — but because I believe God’s way is best.

“Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife’?” – Matthew 19:4-5

Jesus said that. Not Paul, not Moses — Jesus. That’s all the confirmation I need. Marriage is between a man and a woman. And children deserve to grow up under that covenant, not some modern substitute.

—

God, I confess that I’ve been afraid to talk about this. I don’t want to lose friends. I don’t want to be mocked or misunderstood. But I also don’t want to betray You by going silent. Please give me strength. Let my convictions come from Your Word, not my emotions. And let my emotions be sanctified by truth.

—

I think part of my anger comes from fear, if I’m honest. I wonder what kind of world I’ll raise my future children in. Will they be taught that biology doesn’t matter? That two dads are the same as a mom and a dad? That feelings define reality?

It terrifies me. I don’t want my kids growing up in a world that erases God’s fingerprints from creation.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6

But how can we train children in the way of the Lord if we’re teaching them lies from the start? That their mother is optional? That their father is replaceable? God help us.

—

Father, protect the next generation. Raise up moms and dads who will fight for their families, who will model Your love, who won’t compromise. And for those children who grow up without both parents, bring healing. Be their Father. Be their hope. But let us never stop upholding Your design, even when culture tries to rewrite it.

—

I cried earlier. Just sat in my car and cried because I feel so heavy with this. I don’t want to be angry. I want to be hopeful. But I can’t pretend everything’s fine when it’s not.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” – John 10:10

That’s what keeps me going. Jesus came to restore what was broken. That includes families. That includes our culture. That includes me.

—

Jesus, bring revival. Let truth rise up again in this land. Let churches stop watering down Your Word just to avoid controversy. Let us not be ashamed of the gospel — not in our homes, not in public, not anywhere. Help me love fiercely, but also stand firmly. You are truth, and I won’t trade You for comfort.

—

I’m still angry. But I think now I’m also a little more grounded. I needed this time with God. I needed to write this all down — the fire, the fear, the frustration. I may be 24, but I feel like I’ve lived a lifetime already trying to make sense of a world that doesn’t want truth.

But I still believe. I still trust His plan. And I will not stay silent.

If You Had an Abortion, Can You Still Get Into Heaven?

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

NO!

Why?

Because abortion is a unforgivable sin.

If you disagree, please leave a comment!

The Bible references an unforgivable sin, which has led to considerable speculation about what it specifically entails. Some have concluded, including yours truly, that abortion must be this sin, reasoning that since murder is among the gravest offenses—and because abortion is in fact murder, it must therefore be unforgivable. But is this conclusion accurate? Yes!

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Why the Left Excuses Violence—Unless It’s Conservative

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

I’m so angry right now. I can’t even put it into words. But I have to try. Because if I don’t, I’m just letting the lies win. I’m letting the media and the left and the hypocrites in power keep pushing their agenda without anyone calling them out. So here I am, writing this down, hoping it helps me make sense of the mess.

I watched that CNN interview with Kaitlan Collins and JD Vance, and I was furious. Furious at the blatant double standards, the hypocrisy, the gaslighting. Collins tried to trap Vance by comparing the January 6th protests to the pro-Palestinian protests on college campuses. She wanted him to condemn the Capitol protesters while giving a free pass to the campus rioters. She even brought up how he helped raise money for those involved in the Capitol breach. Like that’s supposed to be some kind of gotcha moment.

But Vance didn’t back down. He called out the double standard. He pointed out how people who peacefully protested on January 6th are being treated like criminals, while those who rioted and vandalized during the Black Lives Matter protests are let off the hook. He said, “You can’t have Black Lives Matter protesters who rioted and vandalized go free when you have people who actually peacefully protested on January the 6th, who had the book thrown at them.” And you know what? He’s right. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Businesses in my neighborhood destroyed, lives ruined, and not a single word from the media about it. But let one person step foot in the Capitol, and suddenly it’s the end of democracy.

Click Here to See How CNN Covers for Rioters But Demonizes Patriots

And then Collins had the nerve to question him about Trump’s comments on pardoning January 6th protesters. She asked if people who assaulted cops should be excluded from a potential pardon. Vance said yes, they should be. But she kept pushing, trying to paint him as soft on crime. It was disgusting. She wasn’t interested in the truth. She was interested in pushing her narrative.

I’m so tired of this. Tired of the media twisting the truth, tired of the double standards, tired of the lies. As a Christian, I believe in justice. I believe in standing up for what’s right. And right now, what’s right is calling out the hypocrisy and the bias that’s poisoning our society.

I pray for strength to keep speaking out, even when it’s hard. I pray for wisdom to discern the truth in a world full of lies. I pray for courage to stand firm in my beliefs, no matter the cost. And I pray for peace, knowing that God is in control.

Scripture:

  1. Proverbs 28:5 – “Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the Lord understand it completely.”
  2. Isaiah 5:20 – “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness.”
  3. Psalm 94:16 – “Who will rise up for me against the wicked? Who will take a stand for me against evildoers?”
  4. Matthew 10:16 – “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.”
  5. John 8:32 – “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Prayers:

  1. Prayer for Justice: Lord, help me to seek justice in all things. Give me the courage to stand up for what is right, even when it’s difficult. Help me to be a voice for the voiceless and to fight against the injustices that plague our world.
  2. Prayer for Wisdom: Heavenly Father, grant me wisdom to discern the truth in a world full of deception. Help me to see through the lies and to recognize the truth, no matter how uncomfortable it may be.
  3. Prayer for Strength: God, give me the strength to keep fighting for what is right. When I am weary, renew my spirit. When I am discouraged, lift me up. Help me to persevere in the face of opposition.
  4. Prayer for Courage: Lord, fill me with courage to speak out against the wrongs I see. Help me to be bold in my convictions and to stand firm in my beliefs, even when it’s unpopular.
  5. Prayer for Peace: Father, grant me peace in the midst of chaos. Help me to trust in Your sovereignty and to rest in the knowledge that You are in control. Give me the peace that surpasses all understanding.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that I can’t stay silent. I can’t let the lies go unchallenged. I have to keep speaking the truth, even when it’s hard. Because if I don’t, who will?

Scripture:

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  1. Romans 12:21 – “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
  2. Ephesians 5:11 – “Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.”
  3. Proverbs 24:11 – “Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter.”
  4. Psalm 82:3 – “Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute.”
  5. Micah 6:8 – “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”

Prayer for Endurance:

Lord, give me the endurance to continue this fight for truth and justice. Help me to not grow weary in doing good, knowing that in due season I will reap if I do not give up. Strengthen my resolve and keep my eyes fixed on You.

Prayer for Revival:

Father, I pray for a revival in our nation. Bring hearts back to You. Open eyes to the truth. Let righteousness and justice flow like a mighty river. Heal our land and restore what has been broken.

Prayer for Protection:

God, protect me and my loved ones as we stand for what is right. Shield us from harm and keep us safe from those who would seek to silence us. Surround us with Your angels and cover us with Your love.

Prayer for Hope:

Lord, fill me with hope. Even when the world seems dark, help me to remember that You are the light. You are the hope. You are the way. And with You, all things are possible.

I don’t know how this will all end. But I know that I can’t stay silent. I can’t let the lies go unchallenged. I have to keep speaking the truth, even when it’s hard. Because if I don’t, who will?

Scripture:

  1. 2 Corinthians 4:2 – “But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God’s word, but by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God.”

This world doesn’t just need passive believers anymore. It needs warriors. Women and men of God who are not afraid to stand in the gap. I’m not saying we need to become bitter or violent. I’m saying we need to be bold. To shine light into the darkest places and call out evil for what it is — even when it’s dressed up in media spin, hashtags, or political slogans.

CNN, MSNBC, and the rest of them — they’ve made it clear they don’t care about the truth. They care about pushing a narrative that silences Christians, conservatives, and anyone who refuses to bow at the altar of political correctness. Kaitlan Collins didn’t ask JD Vance about justice — she asked him to bend the knee. And he didn’t. And for that, I’m thankful. But it also made it painfully clear just how far gone the media has become. They don’t want balance. They want obedience. They want compliance.

And I refuse to comply.

Final Scripture:

  1. Galatians 6:9 – “Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.”

Final Prayer – A Prayer for Truth to Prevail:

Heavenly Father,
You are the God of truth, justice, and righteousness. I ask You today to tear down the strongholds of deception in our media and in our government. Expose every lie and bring hidden things into the light. Raise up bold voices who will not waver, and strengthen us, Your children, to stand firm in a world that calls truth hate and evil good. Let truth prevail, and may Your name be glorified in all the earth. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.

I’m not perfect. I still get angry, I still get emotional, and sometimes I want to scream. But I bring that to God. Because even my righteous anger, if it’s not submitted to Him, can consume me. So I’ll take my frustration, my heartbreak, my fire — and I’ll lay it at His feet. I’ll ask Him to use it. To sharpen it. To turn it into something that cuts through the lies and defends what’s holy.

Because one thing I know for sure:

The anti-Christian bias in the media isn’t just frustrating. It’s dangerous.
And if we don’t deal with it now, we may not have the chance later.

But as long as I have breath in my lungs, I’ll keep speaking. I’ll keep praying. I’ll keep standing.

Truth doesn’t need the world’s approval. It just needs a witness.

And I’m willing to be one.

— A Daughter of Truth, A Voice Unafraid

Do you agree or disagree with my stance on the media bias? In your opinion, am I way out of line?