Tag: Holy

Living in the Light of God’s Gifts

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

I’ve been reflecting on Psalm 9:1–2, which keeps circling back in my spirit: “I will give thanks to the LORD with all my heart; I will tell of all Your wonders. I will be glad and exult in You; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High.” Those words have wrapped around my day like a warm shawl, reminding me gently but firmly that gratitude isn’t just a feeling—it’s a posture, a choice to live with my eyes open to God’s goodness. Tonight, I want to sit quietly in this space and acknowledge the beauty of the gifts God has placed in my life.

It’s strange how quickly I forget the wonders that God has already done. One moment I’m overflowing with praise, and the next, I’m tangled in worry over something fleeting or small. But today God slowed me down—almost as if He whispered, “Look again.” And when I looked, I saw His fingerprints everywhere.

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The first thing I felt Him nudging me to remember was the gift of salvation—Christ’s precious offering. Sometimes the cross becomes so familiar that it stops shaking me the way it should. But today I imagined again what it meant for Jesus to willingly step into my place, to carry every ounce of sin, shame, and brokenness so that I could stand clean and beloved before the Father. When I consider any hardship I’m facing, it truly is microscopic next to what He bore for me.

I found myself whispering a quiet prayer:
“Lord Jesus, thank You for saving me. Thank You for loving me enough to endure the cross, the pain, the isolation, and the weight of the world’s sin. Help me never take this gift lightly. Let my life reflect the magnitude of what You’ve done.”

Sometimes I forget how personal salvation really is. It’s not just a theological concept; it’s the very reason I can breathe hope. The cross reminds me that no matter what today looks like—or what tomorrow brings—I belong to Him. And belonging to Him means nothing is wasted.

As I thought about salvation, I also felt overwhelmed by the assurance of God’s love. Scripture tells me plainly in 1 John 4:16, “God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” But even more striking is Romans 8:31–39, which tells me that absolutely nothing—no fear, no failure, no darkness, no spiritual attack, no heartbreak—can separate me from His love.

But still, when storms come, I start to doubt. I ask God if He sees me, if He cares, if He’s listening. And every time, He patiently reminds me that His love is not dependent on my circumstances. It’s woven into His very nature. It cannot be undone. Knowing this should anchor me, but I find I need to remind myself again and again.

Tonight I prayed:
“Father, anchor me in Your love. Let it be the foundation beneath my feet and the light before my steps. Teach me to trust Your heart even when I cannot trace Your hand.”

Something softened in me after that prayer. It was as if God gently brushed away the worry I had been clutching so tightly.

Then my thoughts turned to the gift of answered prayer. I’ve always loved that God invites me to talk to Him about everything—not just the “holy” things but the messy things, the confusing things, the trivial things, the things I’m embarrassed to admit even to myself. He listens without exhaustion, without impatience, without judgment. He is not just able to help me; He knows the best way to do it.

Today, I realized how many of my prayers—some whispered with tears, some shouted in fear, some simply breathed with hope—have already been answered, even if not in the way I expected. Looking back, I see a trail of God’s faithfulness I never would have recognized at the time. Moments I thought were delays were actually protection. Moments I thought were silence were actually preparation.

I wrote this prayer in the margin of my Bible:
“Lord, thank You for hearing me. Thank You for every yes, every no, and every not yet. Give me the faith to bring everything to You, and the patience to wait for Your best.”

What a blessing it is to be heard by the Creator of the universe. It is something I never want to take for granted.

And yet, even with these gifts—salvation, love, answered prayer—God never promised a life without adversity. Sometimes I wish He did, but then I remember Romans 8:28: “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” I’ve clung to that verse more times than I can count. The knowledge that God can bring good out of anything—even the things that break me—changes the way I walk through trials.

Lately I’ve been facing a few challenges that I don’t fully understand. I’ve questioned God, cried out to Him, even tried to reason with Him as if I know more than He does. But tonight I felt a sense of surrender rising in me. Not the defeated kind of surrender, but the peaceful kind that comes from remembering exactly who God is. He’s a Father. A shepherd. A healer. A protector. A promise-maker and promise-keeper. The One who sees the entire story while I only see a single page.

As I wrote these reflections, I felt compelled to pray:
“Father, I submit myself to You. Thank You for Your wisdom, even when I don’t understand it. Thank You for shaping me through trials, not to harm me but to strengthen my faith. Help me trust that You will accomplish Your purpose in me.”

Writing those words felt like placing a heavy stone at the feet of Jesus and choosing not to pick it up again.

I think a thankful heart is less about counting blessings and more about recognizing God’s presence woven through everything. Gratitude isn’t ignoring pain; it’s acknowledging God in the midst of it. It’s saying, “Lord, I see Your hand even here.”

As I sit here tonight, I’m realizing that living in the light of God’s gifts doesn’t mean I pretend everything is perfect. It means I choose to believe that God is present, active, and loving even when life feels unclear. It means I remember that adversity is not abandonment. Hardships are not punishment. Tests are not signs that I’ve been forgotten—they are invitations to trust God more deeply.

And so I want to end tonight with one more prayer, written softly from the depths of my heart:

“Gracious Father, thank You for the blessings You’ve poured into my life—salvation, love, the gift of prayer, and the promise that You bring good out of every circumstance. Teach me to live fully in the light of these gifts. Help me walk with gratitude, rest in Your love, and trust Your purposes even when I don’t understand them. Keep my heart surrendered, my faith steady, and my spirit anchored in You. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

Tonight I feel a quiet peace settling over me—a peace that reminds me that God’s gifts are not abstract concepts; they are living truths shaping every moment of my life. And for that, I am deeply, deeply thankful.

The Disruptive Savior: Jesus Violates My Expectations

Posted on by thechristiantechnerd

Jesus,

Today, You violated my expectations. Again.

And honestly? It wrecked me—in the best way.

I came to You with a plan. A perfect little picture of how I thought You would move. I had it all laid out: the timeline, the method, the outcome. I expected peace in the waiting, healing on my terms, breakthrough in a way that made sense to me.

But You didn’t follow my script. You never do.

And that’s what makes You God.

I used to think that faith meant expecting You to move in a certain way. Now I’m learning that faith is surrendering all my expectations and trusting You to move however You want—even if it’s weird, uncomfortable, or completely opposite of what I had in mind.

Your ways are not my ways. (Isaiah 55:8)

And thank God for that.

I think about the blind man in John 9. You could’ve just said the word and healed him. You have done that before. But instead, You spit in the dirt, made mud, and smeared it on his eyes. That’s not clean. That’s not sanitary. That’s definitely not what anyone was expecting.

“Having said this, He spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. ‘Go,’ He told him, ‘wash in the Pool of Siloam.’ So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.” — John 9:6–7 (NIV)

I mean… really? Mud? Spit?

But that’s the thing. You don’t need to meet our expectations. We’re the ones who need to adjust to Yours.

And You’re not inconsistent. You’re just obedient to the Father’s will. That’s Your only consistency—total surrender to the will of God.

So why do I still act shocked when You move in a way I didn’t expect?

Why do I question Your love just because You didn’t answer how I prayed? Why do I think You’ve abandoned me just because the healing hasn’t come the way I pictured? Why do I think delay means denial?

The truth is, You’ve never failed me. Not once. But sometimes You love me too much to meet the expectations I put on You. Sometimes You intentionally violate my comfort zone to build real faith—not the kind that works when life is cute and convenient, but the kind that stands when nothing makes sense.

That’s the kind of faith I want.

Jesus, confront me. Offend my logic. Violate my false beliefs. Expose every place where I’ve boxed You in.

Because I don’t want a tame God. I want the real You.

I want the Jesus who flips tables.
The Jesus who eats with sinners.
The Jesus who doesn’t fit into any of the categories we try to place You in.
The Jesus who saves with blood, not politics.
The Jesus who washes feet but holds all power.
The Jesus who disrupts my comfort so I’ll depend on grace.

You are not predictable—but You are trustworthy.

And I know I’ve been guilty of trying to domesticate You. I’ve begged You to fit into my plans. I’ve expected blessing without pruning, glory without obedience, and miracles without submission.

But today, I lay that down.

All of it.

I don’t need a Jesus who obeys me—I need to obey You.
I don’t need a Savior who plays by my rules—I need one who saves me from myself.
And You do that. Every day.

So please, Jesus, violate my expectations. Shatter them if You have to.

If You need to spit in the dirt and smear it in my eyes so I can finally see, then do it.

If You need to let me sit in a season of silence so I can hear You clearly again, I’m here for it.

If You need to deny me what I think I want so You can give me what I really need, then so be it.

Because faith isn’t about control. It’s about surrender.
It’s not about understanding every step—it’s about trusting the One who holds the path.

And that’s You.

Lord, forgive me for all the ways I’ve treated You like a vending machine or a wish granter. You’re not here to serve my ego—You came to save my soul.

I don’t want You to just “fix my life.” I want You to transform me.

If that takes discomfort, so be it. If that means dying to my preferences, I’m ready. If that means letting go of everything I thought You would do, I’ll do it.

Because in the end, what I want more than anything… is You.

You alone are worthy.

You alone are holy.

You alone are Lord—not just in theory, but in reality.

So take my expectations, my formulas, my assumptions.
Take my pride, my need for control, my fear of the unknown.
Take it all, Jesus. You can have it.

And in return, give me eyes to see what You’re doing—even if it doesn’t look the way I imagined.

Because that man walked away seeing.

I want that kind of vision.
Not worldly vision.
Not religious tradition.
But real, Spirit-filled sight.

Sight that sees Your hand even in the mud.
Faith that trusts You even when it stings.
Love that stays, even when You move differently than expected.

You are Lord.

Not me.

Amen.