Words of Wisdom for Daughters Becoming Christian Women in Today’s World

My parents have 4 daughter and one son, I’m the youngest of my parent’s daughters, and they have done an AMAZING job in raising us. When I become a mother one day I want to share these words of wisdom below that will help my daughter, or daughters become AMAZING Christians in today’s world.

Identify Yourself in Christ First and Foremost

During a quick scroll through social media, it’s hard to miss the standard message – “You be You!” On the surface, this phrase may seem as though it promotes gratitude for how God uniquely made us. However, the message really encourages one to look inward instead of upward for our identity, defining us by what we do instead of who we are in Christ.

When we accept Christ as the one who died and rose again to take away our sins, we become new creations in Christ, co-heirs with the Son of God (Romans 8:17). That said, it is all important to resist the temptation to define yourself by the world’s descriptors when you are a daughter of the King of King and Lord of Lords!

Ask God to Give You Spiritual Discernment and Wisdom for Each Day

Wisdom and knowledge are used interchangeably, but they have two different meanings. Knowledge is the acquisition of facts or information; wisdom is the proper application of knowledge; discernment is the ability to know when and how to apply wisdom. Discernment helps us recognize our enemy, even when cleverly disguised. There is a plethora of information available at the touch of a button; we must know how to use the lens of Scripture to filter and sift content we allow to influence our attitudes and actions.

Embrace Your Unique Role as a Woman

God created men and women equally, yet differently, which is not a bad thing. Society shuns biblical womanhood and distorts the woman’s role in marriage and in the family, insisting that it is oppressive and outdated. Not to imply that God has called every woman to the roles of wife, mother and homemaker; we must remember, however, that God did create Eve for Adam, to be Adam’s helpmate.

Measure Your Beauty by God’s Standards

Our gracious Heavenly Father bestowed upon his creations physical beauty, but because of the fallen nature of our world, the definition of true beauty has become corrupt and defiled, often defined exclusively in sensual and sexual terms. While we focus on outward appearances, the Lord defines real beauty by purity within, by our heart’s desire for holiness. In the long run, inner beauty supersedes physical beauty, which is fleeting and fades away, for only inner beauty transcends both time and place.

“Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God” (1 Peter 3:3-4).

Pursue Friendships with Other Christian Believers

Having a variety of friends from different backgrounds, different religious or political views is good as long as we do not “yoke” ourselves by joining them in sin. However, the majority of a believer’s closest relationships should be with fellow Christians.

It has never been popular to be a Christian, especially one who lives according to his or her God-given convictions. But today, and arguably in the foreseeable future, professing Christians, even in America, will face discrimination and persecution. We need friends who hold us accountable to God’s Word, who guide us back to Him when we stray and encourage us to pursue holiness in a wicked and perverse world.

God created us for fellowship with Him and with sisters and brothers in Christ. We were not meant to practice our faith in isolation, so seek out the family of God and cling to these relationships for growth, comfort, and strength.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity” (Colossians 3:12-13).

Prioritize Personal Bible Study

Don’t neglect reading your Bible by outsourcing your Bible study to pastors, podcasts, and social media. These are all excellent avenues to develop and strengthen our faith, but they are no substitute for personal Bible study. It’s easy to know a lot about the Bible without actually knowing the Bible. Don’t be satisfied with surface-level faith, which is easily shaken and quickly picked apart by a hostile and godless world. Build your hope and assurance on the solid foundation of truth, one built through time and commitment to reading and hiding God’s Word in our hearts.

“How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word” (Psalm 119:9).

Live with an Eternal Perspective

Living with an eternal perspective shapes how we live our lives. It guides us in our decision-making, helps us focus on the truly important, and provides comfort and peace in a chaotic world. Remember that this world is not our home but a temporary timeshare on our way to our eternal destination, for “our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ” (Philippians 3:20). When the demands of today wear you down, remember that it will pass. You are not living your best life now – your best life is yet to come, and it will last forever.

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:18).

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Amazing Roles that God Can Play in Your Life

Have you ever seen a movie where one actor plays multiple roles? Isn’t it fascinating that one person can portray so many people and appear to operate in each part seamlessly? The reality is that God is even better at playing numerous roles, and the critical element to consider is that He is not acting.

He already is in each position that we will explore, and He is able, willing, and ready to fill each of the roles if we simply allow Him to. This list scratches the surface but is a good starting point to be reminded of some of the remarkable roles God can play in your life.

  1. Savior
    First and foremost, God is our savior. Mom can’t save us, dad can’t save us, our friends cannot save us, and we can’t even save ourselves, but God can!

Isaiah 45:21-22 states, “Consult together, argue your case. Get together and decide what to say. Who made these things known so long ago? What idol ever told you they would happen? Was it not I, the Lord? For there is no other God but me, a righteous God and Savior. There is none but me. Let all the world look to me for salvation! For I am God; there is no other.”

When we allow God to play the role of savior in our lives, we are saved from our sins and blessed with the opportunity to spend eternity in Heaven with Him.

  1. Father
    Depending on the type of relationship you may have had with your earthly father, the role of God as Father can be easy to embrace, or it may be challenging. Nevertheless, one of the beautiful roles God wants to play in your life is Father.

Romans 8:15-17 states, “For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.”

When we recognize God as Father, we can take comfort in knowing that He wants a relationship with us, desires what is best for us, and He is ultimately working everything in our lives out for our good.

  1. Rock
    Feeling shaky or unsteady? Are you in search of a firm or solid foundation that doesn’t shift? God is the answer.

He is our rock. Psalm 18:2 states, “The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.” When we allow God to fill the role of rock in our lives, we can find a sense of safety and security. People change, situations come and go, but God remains the same; therefore, we can be strengthened and hopeful in God our rock.

  1. Refuge
    Have you ever needed a safe place in which you could rest and find shelter? The role of refuge is God’s specialty. Psalm 62:7-8 states, “In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.”

Take comfort in knowing that we can find refuge in God in the presence of trouble or hardship. He is a reliable resource with whom you can share all of your concerns and any thoughts you have been holding within the depths of your heart.

  1. Helper
    Raise your hand if you are someone who tries to do everything on your own? Are you someone who struggles to ask for help or feels as if you are on your own when it comes to getting duties, assignments, and tasks completed? It does not have to be that way, beloved.

Psalm 46:1 states, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Also, Isaiah 41:13 states, “For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.” Both scriptures are reminders that you can go to God for help. You may have to loosen your grip on that situation and allow God to fill the helper role. You do not have to go through life without His divine help.

When we let God be our helper, we often find a sense of relief and even ease in completing whatever we invite Him to be involved in.

  1. Guide
    Feeling lost? Need directions? God has that role covered. Psalm 48:14 states, “For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death.” Furthermore, Psalm 25:8-10 states, “The Lord is good and does what is right; he shows the proper path to those who go astray. He leads the humble in doing right, teaching them his way. The Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness all who keep his covenant and obey his demands.”
  1. Comforter
    In times of distress, grief, or sorrow, God is our comforter. 2 Corinthians 1:3 states, “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort…”

Isn’t it good to know that we have access to the ultimate GPS? God lives within us to lead, guide, and direct our paths, but we must first surrender playing that role in our lives and allow Him to take the lead.

Also, 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 states, “Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope, comfort you and strengthen you in every good thing you do and say.”

Both passages show that when we allow God to fill in the role of comforter, we can gain strength and hope to make it through some of the most difficult times of our lives.

  1. Provider
    I have needs, you have needs, all of God’s children have needs, and guess what? One of God’s many roles is to meet our needs as a provider. Philippians 4:19 states, “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.”

This passage points us to our source for resources. While we might not get everything that we want, God graciously provides exactly what we need. Don’t get me wrong, there are times where we may feel like our needs are not being met as quickly as we would like, or we might have our needs confused with our wants, but the truth is God always provides.

  1. Defender
    There will be times in life when we are wronged or deeply hurt. Our human nature is to retaliate or take matters into our own hands. The fact that God is our defender is a thought that we must rehearse in our minds. Romans 12:19 states, “Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord.”

The latter portion of 2 Chronicles 20:15 also reminds us, “This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid! Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s.” Even when it may appear that our enemies are winning, the truth is that God is always fighting for us. Certainly, we may find difficulty with surrendering and allowing God to play the role of defender, but He has proven over and over that He stays faithful to His promises.

  1. Deliverer
    Oh, how we would love to go through life problem-free experiencing nothing but sunny days, cool breezes, rainbows, and butterflies with optimal health. Unfortunately, that is not the reality of this life.

Psalm 34:19 states, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.” We are reminded that life is full of trouble, but the essential truth we must remember is that God is our deliverer. He was gracious enough to forewarn us that pain and suffering will come and loving enough to promise to deliver us.

So, amid many tests and trials, cling to the fact that God is your deliverer.

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How Should Christians Approach Dating

I’m not looking to date anyone until after I graduate from college, but I do ponder how Christian should go about dating in our app based dating society where everyone bases who they want to date just on how they look on the outside and not what makes them who they really are on the inside…I know this sounds “cheesy”, but I hope that the man I marry loves me for me and not for anything other than that.

Among modern evangelical Christians, there have been multiple books, movements, and rules presented as the “biblical” approach or method to dating. From Joshua Harris’ I Kissed Dating Goodbye in the early 2000s to the many rules for dating in contemporary Christian circles, there is no end to supposed scriptural views on dating.

Amid this overwhelming sea of methods and rules, many Christians wonder what the Bible says about this overly discussed topic and how they should approach dating.

Specifically, there is nothing in the Bible about dating. In fact, none of the people mentioned in the Bible ever dated but rather participated in prearranged marriages and betrothals. The modern Western idea of dating did not exist in biblical times and even many cultures today do not practice dating either.

Scripture, however, does provide a few general principles that can be applied to the modern practice of dating and courtship, including maintaining a proper perspective while dating and focusing on purity in romantic relationships.

Common ‘Biblical’ Methods and Rules for Dating
In churches and Christian culture, there are many popular rules for dating. Some of these include not holding hands or not showing affection, only dating someone with the intention of marrying them, only dating for a set period, having a required chaperone on dates, or not dating at all in order to wait for a person’s “one true love” to come.

These rules are not found in the Bible since Scripture does not discuss dating. Instead, these assumptions have developed over time due to major movements in Christian culture.

In the early 2000s, Joshua Harris’ book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, swept through the Christian world and encouraged Christians to no longer date, but wait for the one person whom they would marry.

Many believers followed the teachings found in the book and refused to date anyone to instead wait for the divinely chosen person whom God intended for them to marry. Such teachings gradually declined in popularity and Joshua Harris recanted his book in 2016 and announced he was no longer a Christian in 2019.

Currently, the popular trend among evangelical Christians is to prepare and pray for their future spouse. This is especially popular among Christian girls and women who are encouraged to prepare, pray, and dream about their future husbands. Dating is not discouraged but is rather pushed into strict seriousness by requiring Christians to date with the intention of marrying.

The problem with this view, however, is that there is nothing in Scripture about praying for one’s future spouse, someone that is unknown or may not even exist. While Christians can participate in dating, there is no biblical promise or guarantee that every Christian will have a spouse.

Maintaining a Proper Perspective While Dating
For Christians, their first priority in all situations should always be the Lord (Matthew 6:33; Luke 10:27). Oftentimes in dating, people become infatuated and almost obsessed with their new boyfriend or girlfriend. Other important relationships often take a back seat to the new person they are dating.

Even a Christian’s relationship with the Lord can be negatively impacted by putting too much focus, time, and energy into pursuing dating or a new relationship. As Marshall Segel states in his article about dating, “The first step in dating should always be the step of faith we take toward our Lord, Savior, and greatest Treasure, King Jesus” (“The Golden Rule in Christian Dating,” Desiring God).

Just as each individual Christian should be deliberate about their relationship with the Lord, seeking to glorify Him in their life, they should also ensure that the person they are dating is completely in love with the Lord. Believers should not date unbelievers because of the possibility of marriage in any dating relationship (2 Corinthians 6:14-15).

Also, even if a Christian is dating a believer, they need to be aware of the other person’s relationship with God. Are they actively growing in their walk with Christ? Do they desire to love Him more than anything in the world, including being in a relationship or getting married? Believers should be aware of the spiritual state of the person they are seriously dating.

Finally, in regard to keeping a proper perspective while dating, Christians should also avoid falling into the trap of desperation. The church culture in the Western world, especially America, places a large emphasis on marriage, which places pressure on single believers to get married.

This often causes single Christians to become desperate and to date anyone because of the pressure to be married often just to have sex within the confines of marriage. Such a mindset goes against the Bible, which urges believers to seriously consider marriage or singleness based on legitimate reasons and not because of external pressure (1 Corinthians 7:35).

Although these Christians can still date with the intention of finding someone to marry, there is still the possibility that they will remain single for a part or the rest of their life. Being single is not a lesser state but has many great benefits in serving the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:32, 34).

Believers would be wise not to waste the time they have as single individuals, but instead pray and be open to God’s guidance about when, who, and if they should be dating.

The Need for Biblical Purity
While Scripture does not give any rules for how a person should date, the Bible does teach about the need to maintain purity in romantic relationships (1 Corinthians 6:13). Purity is a foreign idea to the worldly system, which promotes sexual immorality.

Many unbelievers and even some believers will commonly date someone, live with them for a while, and then find another boyfriend or girlfriend. However, Christians who want to live glorifying lives for Christ according to the Bible should avoid the temptation of living with their girlfriend or boyfriend and instead maintain celibacy until marriage.

Teenagers and young adults are especially susceptible to the temptation of sexual relations outside of marriage because of the inundation of lust-inducing messages from movies, TV shows, music, and celebrities.

Scripture speaks against this, however, by stating, “Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts” (2 Timothy 2:22, NLT). Sexual relations should only occur within the bonds of marriage, between a husband and his wife (Matthew 19:4-6; Hebrews 13:4).

Thus, Christians who are dating should avoid any situations for the temptation to sin (1 Corinthians 6:18). Having accountability to godly family members and friends can help protect against sinning against the Lord and the person one is dating.

Also, asking for friends to double date could also be helpful in some situations. Believers should be aware of their hearts and know what will cause temptation, which can help prevent compromising situations of impurity.

If a Christian is tempted during a date, they should pray and seek to leave the situation (1 Corinthians 10:13). Both men and women followers of Christ should pursue purity in their dating relationships to glorify the Lord and follow His Word (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

Christians and Dating
Though there are many dating methods and rules suggested in Christian circles, the Bible does not explicitly discuss how a Christian should approach dating. However, Christians need to view dating differently than those in the world, which promotes impurity and sexual immorality.

Instead of merely thinking about their own preferences in finding a boyfriend or girlfriend with the intention of marrying, believers should place God first in their lives and seek to be pleasing to Him in all they do, including dating.

Staying focused on one’s love for God will provide a proper perspective for romantic relationships since God is the one who provides ultimate fulfillment and love.

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Will All Christians Experience the Judgment Seat of Christ?

And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment. Hebrews 9:27

One of the topics the Bible speaks about is judgment. One day everyone will stand before God to give an account for their life. There is a tendency sometimes to lump all judgment into the same category, but there are actually two different types of judgment. The believer and the unbeliever will be judged but the experience will not be the same.

The unbeliever will experience the Great White Throne judgment mentioned in Revelation. For Christians, we will experience the judgment seat or Bema seat of Christ which is a judgment for different reasons and for a different purpose.

What Is the Bema Seat of Christ?
The term Bema Seat of Christ is a term that comes from 2 Corinthians 5:10.

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.

The word for judgment used in the Greek is the word bema. The word bema means judgment seat, judicial court or judicial bench. In the first century, the bema was an elevated platform from which political speeches or judicial decisions were made. If you can picture the imagery as it relates to Christ in this verse, Christ is seated on his elevated throne and one day we will stand before him. At that point, Jesus will deliver his judicial decision to all who are believers.

What I want you to focus on from this verse is the purpose of this judgment. The most important thing to point out is this is not a judgment regarding your salvation. The bema seat of Christ is not a judgment for sin or eternal punishment, this is a judgment of reward. As Christians, your sins have already been judged because of the sacrifice in Christ. Since the salvation question has already been settled God will not judge you again for that.

This judgment will focus on how did you live after you came to Christ? How committed were you to the cause of Christ and doing his will? Did you live to please him or live to please yourself? This is what the bema seat judgment is all about. That’s why you should pay attention to what Paul said in the preceding verse.

So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. 2 Corinthians 5:9

Because you will one day stand before the bema seat of Christ your goal should be to please him. This is a sobering thought which should cause you to reflect on how you are living.